Sex and showers

[croissant2]

NC. Husband showers once a day, in the evening. He refuses to have sex with me after he's had a shower, because he doesn't want to get sweaty and dirty after showering. Apparently showering again is out of the question.

I don't want to have sex with him before he showers, because he wants foreplay and I don't fancy going 'down there' after he's been almost 24 hours without a shower. If I try and have sex with him after he's had a shower, he says I'm only doing it because he's clean now.

I shower morning and evening, and don't like foreplay on myself unless I've recently washed.

This all sounds so ridiculous but sex has become a rare occurrence because of this. Not sure if I'm being OCD and unreasonable or if he is?

My first though was...penis beaker. I've obviously been hanging around mumsnet too long.
More seriously, surely he can just wash his willy before sex? Although he's entirely unreasonable for not having sex post shower anyway...how sweaty does he get during sex?
Agree with other posters that this speaks to bigger issues.

Of course it can happen. I have 5 year old who hardly ever slept and we always had sex in the morning. Sometimes in the middle of the night too if one of us had been up to settle him.....well we were both awake so why not?
It's how we've always been - I've never asked him to shower!

My dh will wash his kibble and bits if he knows he’s going to get lucky.

Honestly would it really take him long to just give himself a quick once over?

Why are women trying to shame other women for their preference not to suck a funky sweaty cock? Of course it's perfectly fine for those who enjoy it/don't care/have extraordinarily fresh smelling partners but it's also perfectly acceptable to choose not to put unwashed cock in our mouths!

He's selfish and lazy and sounds like he's not very keen on sex with you, OP, sorry. It's not unreasonable to want someone to shower before sex if they want oral. And jumping in the shower again after sex takes 2 minutes if he feels he needs to.

If I try and have sex with him after he's had a shower, he says I'm only doing it because he's clean now.

Err.... yes. Full marks to him. You like having sex with someone with clean genitals. Why is that any kind of a problem for him?

He can wash wash his bits in the sink before hand.

I would recommend having sex in the shower but DH and I did that whilst visiting relatives and the shower cubicle came off the wall.

This is a serious thread, and I feel for the OP with her selfish husband. But oh dear, DustyMaiden I snorted out loud when I read your post. I’m still quivering with suppressed laughter. I’m in a quiet waiting room and people are now carefully avoiding eye contact with me.

Nobody is trying to shame anyone. Don't be so bloody dramatic.
If anything it's the other way round.
For some people insisting your other half have a shower before sex is odd. Others obviously feel differently 🤷

Dh never smells. I have never had any problems having sex with him, at any time of the day!
That's fine and dandy but she's not shagging your husband, is she?

I wouldn't dream of asking my DW to shower before sex and I would be mortified if she asked me to. Sex is better when it's spontaneous and going for a shower first would ruin the moment. We shower everyday anyway so we're clean enough.

Indeed codename everyone has a right to consent to sexual acts in whatever way they feel comfortable with. Some people might only want to give oral sex using condoms, some people never, some people when their partner is freshly clean, some people might have a preference for week old unwashed.

It's no one else's right to say something you choose to do or not to do in the bedroom is right/wrong (the law permitting.)

I know this isn't very PC of me, blame my 70s upbringing, but my first thought on reading this was, what sort of a man doesn't want sex because he doesn't want to get sweaty??

Second thought, this is some sort of power/control struggle thing.

Would he have sex with you before his shower but without a bj?

"it's also perfectly acceptable to choose not to put unwashed cock in our mouths!"

Is this a new thing? Young millennials? Paranoid about body washing and human cleanliness?

Most people don't smell, when they come home from work.

I have no idea where this idea comes from: posters only willing to have sex if partner has just washed!

Wierd.

I don't get the whole shower thing. Private parts have a natural scent, I don't go down on DH expecting him to smell of strawberries. We both shower 2 times a day and have sex sometimes in between showers, or bed time after shower or morning before shower. It's never bothered me, the smell is natural.

@CodenameVillanelle Exactly 👍

He could wash his willy in the sink before hand and shower after.
Or don't give him a bj just have sex, if he wants a bj then he can wash it.

I would be pretty offended if my wife asked me to shower before sex to be honest - it would be like suggesting she found me dirty and unattractive.

But then we are very sexual and she regular wakes me with a blow job having had sex and no wash the night before. Many on here will no doubt find that disgusting and plenty of others will probably say she is raping me as I was asleep and haven't given written consent

Grab a jug full of water. Sit on toilet. Wash front and backside. Dry. Have sex. Simples.

OP's doesn't shower twice a day, he has a 24 hour sweaty dick.

Is this a new thing? Young millennials? Paranoid about body washing and human cleanliness?

I'm 40, and I don't like sucking uncircumcised cock that isn't freshly washed. Circumcised cock is a lot less smelly but the smell of unwashed foreskin gives me the boak. I don't think having a sense of smell and a gag reflex is limited to young millennials tbh

@Dia12 I have extenuating circumstances. It was my wedding day. There were so many people staying at my uncles house that they put males in some rooms and females in the others.

I would be pretty offended if my wife asked me to shower before sex to be honest - it would be like suggesting she found me dirty and unattractive

Your unwashed cock IS dirty tbf. If you are offended by that you're a bit silly.

But then we are very sexual woopdidoo for you. You are definitely having more and better sex than those of us who like clean genitals in our mouths

and she regular wakes me with a blow job having had sex and no wash the night before. Many on here will no doubt find that disgusting and plenty of others will probably say she is raping me as I was asleep and haven't given written consent

Fuck this. Don't belittle the experience of women who are genuinely assaulted and raped in their sleep by being flippant about it.

I am so with you OP. I don't want anyone going near me or me going near them if we haven't just showered.

When I was younger I didn't give a shit but these days it's SO OFFPUTTING if no shower has been had.

havent you watcched it in the movies.they come in from running or doing something dangerous and sweaty and instantly jump on eachother!

Darkstar4855 - I assume you've never jokingly said
"I'm/she/he's blind" when referring to someone who wears glasses
or
"Sorry I'm a bit deaf" when you've misheard something
or
"I'm starving" when you've been really hungry
or
"I'm dying" when you've got a bad hangover/generally ill/done a lot of exercise.
or
"I'm/s/he's a bit/completely mad/crazy" when someone does something slightly out of the ordinary

seeing as minimising serious medical conditions by joking about them is completely inappropriate?

Of course OCD is debilitating for those who suffer from it - but exaggerating minor symptoms to full-blown illnesses is a common figure of speech for multiple ailments. Me moaning or having a joke about my shortsightedness doesn't mean I minimise or don't sympathise with the struggles my completely blind friend has.

Back to the actual topic - isn't one of the biological reasons adults sweat to release pheromones that make us attractive to the opposite sex and make them want to have sex with us? Doesn't all this showering cancel that out?