Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

DIL - miscarriage? Posting here for traffic.

136 replies

Casiloco · 07/03/2020 23:04

DS and DIL have been TTC since Christmas and she tested positive on Tuesday. Thursday she started bleeding and although this lasted just a day or so, there was quite a lot of blood. Hospital have said she isn't still pregnant and have asked her to go back on Monday for a scan.

They are still very hopeful, excited but also worried and I am fairly certain it will not be good news and they may then do a D&C. They will be devastated - as will DH and I - if they lose the baby. She is mid-30s and she is aware of the body clock ticking ...

Am I right in thinking things don't look too hopeful?

OP posts:

ChicChicChicChiclana · 08/03/2020 06:54

Goodness, your son and dil share a lot with you!

Wotrewelookinat · 08/03/2020 07:00

Agree with PP, could go either way, I had a big bleed with first pregnancy and miscarried. Had a big bleed with 3rd pregnancy, a scan a couple of days later and found I was still pregnant with twins, who are now strapping 15 yr olds. Hope its all ok for you all xx

sk1601 · 08/03/2020 07:01

@ChicChicChicChiclana - maybe they have a close relationship? Our parents knew when we were trying for a family and we told them as soon as we got a positive test result. Why are you judging the OP for that?

OP, I’ve been in that situation and unfortunately it didn’t go well. However, I was fortunate to conceive again and now have a toddler running around. It may be too early for them to see anything on a scan but they may check HCG levels in blood over a few days instead.

Fingers crossed all is okay. I’m sure you will support them whatever the outcome is. Wishing you all the best.

Tink2007 · 08/03/2020 07:04

This was posted on the pregnancy board as well and I admit at the time I thought if I were the DIL I would be mortified that my MIL were asking strangers if my pregnancy was likely to end in miscarriage. Even though there is nothing identifying.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 08/03/2020 07:25

Bleeding in the early days is pretty common so they may be lucky 🤞🤞🤞

meetthewildes · 08/03/2020 07:29

I’m really sorry to read that MIL is getting a hard time on here. She hasn’t shared anything outing to the family and is posting out of love and concern.

A hopeful story: I had a sudden and enormous, gushing bleed about six weeks in with my most recent pregnancy - blood everywhere, through my clothes and all over the train seat in spite of a relatively short journey. I was certain that nothing could cling on in spite of that, and yet the following day there was a very definite heartbeat on a scan and the baby in question is a sixteen-month-old thug of a toddler now.

I hope that you have good news, OP.

Greenandpleasanter · 08/03/2020 07:31

I had a bleed in later pregnancy. It turned out okay and was my cervix bleeding apparently. It's possible that it will be okay. If I were you I'd be hopeful but realistic.

If it's her first pregnancy, I was told by my GP that it's quite common to miscarry the first pregnancy and then go on to be fine in subsequent pregnancies.

SunshineCake · 08/03/2020 07:46

It may be anonymous but if the DIL does see this she may suspect it is about her and be rather hurt and/or angry.

LGY1 · 08/03/2020 07:52

It really could go either way.
I had a day of bleeding about 6 weeks, thought that was the end of it. Went for a Sam and it was a cyst that had burst. Now 23 weeks pregnant
The more people I speak to it seems bleeding in early pregnancy is very common

Hmpher · 08/03/2020 07:56

Is it not normal for a son and daughter in law to share things like this? Seems perfectly normal for a close, supportive family to me. My mother in law sadly passed away during my last pregnancy but I considered her a friend as well as a mother in law and talked to her about lots of things, just as I do with my own mother.

OP, there’s no point trying to guess really. Some people have bleeds and are still pregnant. You’ll just have to deal with whatever happens once they know what’s going on. I bled quite a lot a few times during my second pregnancy but it was fine. I hope it’s good news.

TulipsTwoLips · 08/03/2020 08:14

I think you are all misunderstanding the reason for my question!

I would hate my MIL posting like this. Other people would be fine with it, or even like it. People are all different.

I was not attacking the OP. I was trying to prevent possible upset for the OP or her DIL, by giving a different point of view.

She could just reply that in her family doing this is fine. No need for drama.

MinnieMountain · 08/03/2020 08:17

OP is worried about her DIL. It's fine to post anonymously.

Far better than telling people she actually knows like my MIL did.

Salamander91 · 08/03/2020 08:22

It could go either way. Also if she only tested positive last week a scan on monday may not be all that conclusive. If she's only around 5 weeks she may not be able to see the fetal pole yet never mind a heartbeat. I hope it's good news

IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 08/03/2020 08:22

Not everyone has to have a d&c after a miscarriage, op.

Sceptre86 · 08/03/2020 08:23

With both my pregnancies I bled for a 3-4 days when my period was due, both times I was told could be having a miscarriage. Both children arrived safe and sound and I had no other bleeding episodes. My pregnancies involved a lot of monitoring and I was under consultant care.

There is always hope Be positive for them.

Redcherries · 08/03/2020 08:29

I bled heavily for a week in early pregnancy and was told I had a blighted ovum. They gave me an internal scan the following week prior to a d&c and found a heartbeat, my dd is now nearly an adult.

Not all bleeds are miscarriages so there is some hope but there’s also the possibility of miscarriage. It’s really one of those awful situations where all you can do is wait and offer support whichever way it’s needed.

lurker69 · 08/03/2020 08:47

I had a freaking huge bleed when I was pregnant, tmi.. I was sitting on the toilet and saying to my dh 'im not weeing' there was that much blood.
he is now 18 months old, she really could be ok! she may have a low lying placenta which is what I had but I had to pay for a private scan to find this out, they traced a heartbeat and sent me on my way with no explanation or offer of a scan at the hospital

NotSorry · 08/03/2020 08:56

@TulipsTwoLips

OP didn’t come on to be criticised for posting - she’s concerned

You do you

WeAllHaveWings · 08/03/2020 09:10

I would hate my MIL posting like this. Other people would be fine with it, or even like it. People are all different.

If your MIL was asking for mc advice anomalously it would be none of your business. OP is asking for information about mc, absolutely no reason why she shouldn't. Have a good think about why you would have a problem with this. Op/your MIL are allowed to be interested/research something that is affecting her family so she can support /not say the wrong things, it is not crossing any lines,

Bibijayne · 08/03/2020 09:14

I had bleeding at 10 weeks. Thought the worst. But now have an 18 month old boy. But it could go either way tbh. Thoughts for you all. X

WeAllHaveWings · 08/03/2020 09:15

OP, I had a big bleed early on. Long time ago (ds is 16 now), they couldn't see much as too early so told me to go home, wait and see. It could go either way.

Amigoingmad29weeks · 08/03/2020 09:18

I've had bleeds in both my pregnancies between 5-9 weeks in. Two beautiful healthy children. Epu told me it's actually quite common. Just wait for the scan, i wouldn't encourage hope or try to squash it. Just calm and waiting.

db92 · 08/03/2020 09:19

There still hope that'll all will be ok. I had a very large bleed a few days after my positive test which lasted a few days. Everything was fine.

Encourage her to rest up and relax until Monday if she can x

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 08/03/2020 09:19

This is why my mil only found out at 12 weeks, so she could not post anything about it. I get your concerned, but like some posters, I think it's primarily the could involved, not the family who should meddle for support.

wafflethewonderdog · 08/03/2020 09:21

I had a big bleed at 10 weeks. Hospital said it was probably a miscarriage but early scan proved them wrong 😀

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread