To feel I've failed 4 year old and hindered her development?

[Hellodotdotdot]

My DD is close in age to my friend's DD by a couple of months. Her DD can already spell her own name, has a fantastic memory and knows the phonetic alphabet.

My DD cant spell her own name, cant always remember letter sounds and is behind with her numbers as she cant get past 30.

The main difference I see between the two is that my DD is still with a childminder whilst friends DD is in nursery. I thought I made the right decision having DD with a childminder as I wanted her in a home environment and surrounded by children of differing ages. My DD is the oldest at the childminder right now ans mostly plays with toddlers.

I'm hoping she can catch up once she starts school in September and expect to read reports that shes behind for her age.

Are there any things I can do now to help her to prepare her for school?

If you are comparing, stop it. Your CM will have seen children into school before, so ask them if there are any gaps in readiness you need to work on over the next 6 months.

If your friend is comparing, and finding your child lacking, drop her (or at least only see her without the children). You'll never hear the end of it, especially if they go to the same school.

OP if you're on here asking questions and worrying about your child it is pretty much guaranteed that you are already an engaged parent who is committed to the welfare of her child. You haven't failed her, stop worrying.