To tell my brother in law that my sister is cheating ?

[Aurelie20]

I have been reading on this forum for months and now I have something I need advice on..

My sister and I are very close and always been. She is perfect ,have a perfect house , perfect children and a perfect husband... After my marriage ended I moved in with her , and since he works night shifts I spent a lot of time with him and the children during the day.

She told me about 2 weeks ago that she has been seeing a man for roughly a month and thinks about leaving her husband but wants some time with the other man to be sure. I AM SO SHOCKED! I can't believe her. She has a perfect man that loves her and does everything for her.

I am close to him and cannot at look him in the eyes now. Especially since he always talks about her. I feel like telling him because he does not deserve that. But at the same time I don't want to lose my sister. She trusts me. What would you do.

Keep out of it. She’s your sister and always will be. You could spend a lifetime regretting it if you open your mouth.

Well maybe he isn't that perfect?

Not your marriage. Keep out of it because that's the way to preserve your relationship with both of them.
If you tell him and they split, she will never forget it.
If you tell him and they salvage the relationship neither will want you about, you'll be too much of a reminder.

Nose out, avoid the drama, wait and see.

I’d just stay out of it. Your sister won’t forgive you and he probably won’t speak to you again either.

Sounds like the set up for a bad porno. You should keep your mouth shut, find another place to live and stay away from your sister's husband.

Well maybe he isn't that perfect?

Well the sister obviously isn't...

OP I'd keep out of it. She told you in confidence. Just tell her you don't want to hear any more.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Keep Schtum.

I wouldn’t say anything to him but I would tell her that you don’t want to hear any more about it and I would also think about finding somewhere else to live. The shit will hit the fan eventually and you don’t really want to be under their roof when that happens

You sound jealous of her. You sound like you've got a crush on her dh too. Say nothing and find somewhere else to live.

I don't feel any attraction towards him. I just feel worried and sorry that my sister is ruining her life for a short affair.

Obviously there's no excuse for an affair, but you seem to have painted and perfect picture of a perfect man and a perfect life.

I think there's more to it than that. Maybe you should find out if she's okay and why she feels she is looking outside her 'perfect' marriage.

She's your sister! No, you do not choose her husband over her.

Don't do it. Speaking from experience. Probably my biggest regret in life.

He has a right to know and if your sister has it her way he never will. Poor guy.

I would keep well out of it. I would also move out quickly before the proverbial hits the fan.

Please don’t listen to the insanity on here. If it was your brother cheating everyone would be telling you what a cheating scumbag he was and how she deserved to know the truth.
You are in a no win situation in reality. Your sister is a home wrecking cheating bitch. If she respects her husband she should leave him or at least ask for a trial separation.
I agree with Paddington in general but I also think if the DH asks you directly why you are loving out you shouldn’t lie.

Keep out of it; it’s not your business and your input won’t be welcomed by anyone

I'm a fan of tell them usually but not against your sister. You will lose her and the children

No no no. The PPs are right. Don't say anything. If you want, yell at your sister when you're alone together, but don't tell anyone else.

Like, messing with her marriage, thats unforgivable.

Well clearly their marriage isn’t perfect. Your brother in law doesn’t deserve it but she’s your sister, if they split up she’s the one you’re going to continue to have a relationship with, which won’t be easy if you snitch on her. And as PP said, if they decide to stay together neither of them will want you around as it will be an uncomfortable reminder.
Agree with the advice that you should tell your sister you don’t agree with it and don’t want to hear any details, also to try and move out if you can.
If you feel you must DO something then tell your sister that she needs to be honest with her husband, at least about the fact she wants a trial separation if not the affair.

I would tell her she needs to tel him. And I wouldn't be interested in hearing anything about it if it continued.

All you can do is to appeal to your sister to stop the affair. She hasn't thought through the full consequences. Perhaps you can make a list of them for her.

Are you still living there? If yes I think it’s time you moved out.

Every single day you are around him and saying nothing is like lying to his face. He will eventually find out and for him to realise you knew all along and were happily living there, spending time with him and letting him live this lie will be very hurtful and embarrassing for him.

It’s not your place to say anything, but I wouldn’t want to be quite so complicit either.

Have you asked her why she is doing this?

I wouldn't get involved. Worst case scenario is that she decides to stay., he forgives her, and they both hate you. It can be very handy for a fractured couple to have a mutual hate target to bond over.

I think it’s time you found another place to live - who’s going to move out when she decides - your sister or the husband.
I’d remove myself from this mess if possible.