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Original poster

To tell my brother in law that my sister is cheating ?

190 replies

Aurelie20 · 06/03/2020 19:19

I have been reading on this forum for months and now I have something I need advice on..

My sister and I are very close and always been. She is perfect ,have a perfect house , perfect children and a perfect husband... After my marriage ended I moved in with her , and since he works night shifts I spent a lot of time with him and the children during the day.

She told me about 2 weeks ago that she has been seeing a man for roughly a month and thinks about leaving her husband but wants some time with the other man to be sure. I AM SO SHOCKED! I can't believe her. She has a perfect man that loves her and does everything for her.

I am close to him and cannot at look him in the eyes now. Especially since he always talks about her. I feel like telling him because he does not deserve that. But at the same time I don't want to lose my sister. She trusts me. What would you do.

OP posts:
saraclara · 08/03/2020 10:55

"I'm really grateful that you offered me somewhere to stay, sis, but now I know abbot the other man, it's way too uncomfortable for me to be living in the same house as your DH. I just can't look him in the eyes, I certainly can't lie to him, and I'm not prepared to coach your children to. It's an abuse of his hospitality, and terribly awkward. So I hope you'll understand why I'm going to be looking for somewhere else"

Iggly · 08/03/2020 10:58

I love how everyone’s suddenly changed their opinion now the sister has been revealed to be a total bitch!

Because context is everything. Honestly Hmm

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 08/03/2020 11:33

"I'm really grateful that you offered me somewhere to stay, sis, but now I know abbot the other man, it's way too uncomfortable for me to be living in the same house as your DH. I just can't look him in the eyes, I certainly can't lie to him, and I'm not prepared to coach your children to. It's an abuse of his hospitality, and terribly awkward. So I hope you'll understand why I'm going to be looking for somewhere else"

That ^ one hundred times. Don’t enable her cheating while taking hospitality from her husband.

GulliBelle · 08/03/2020 11:54

@bloggersblog - almost?

Talkingmouse · 08/03/2020 12:57

‘ So I am supposed to "coach" them for tomorrow lies.’

Why did you agree to this?! Move out now...

BloggersBlog · 08/03/2020 13:04

@GulliBelle yep, trippety-trap and all that crap Grin

Original poster
Aurelie20 · 08/03/2020 13:20

Sorry if I did not add enough details in my original post. I did not know what was relevant or not. And yes she seems to have a perfect life , she posts every 2 hours about her husband , selfies of them , how much she loves him. I did not want to portray a bad image of her, but wanted honest opinions and what I wanted to do.

My sister has been good to me and I am a bit of a loser tbh. I think you all are right ,it's none of my business and I am going to stay out of it. If my bil never wants to talk to me. Id be fine with it. But my sister will forbid me from seeing her kids and think I wanted to destroy her marriage because I was incapable of "keeping your man". Meanwhile I have no choice but lie.

She even asked me to pretend her lover is my new boyfriend so he could come over. It is sick. And this is not drip feed. The convo happened today.

I just told the kids mum wasn't feeling good and went to bed early.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aurelie20 · 08/03/2020 13:23

I wish this whole thing came from my imagination... i am so stressed day in day out. Thinking about my ex , my sister , my nephews. Can't relax or sleep well.

OP posts:
Isla727 · 08/03/2020 13:53

Just tell your sis to stop being silly. Don't tell him and break up your nieces/nephews' parents.

saraclara · 08/03/2020 14:12

She even asked me to pretend her lover is my new boyfriend so he could come over. It is sick.

What did you say?

If she brings up the 'but you're my best friend' thing again, simply tell her that best friends don't ask their friend to tell huge lies for them, or put them in such terrible positions.

Reginabambina · 08/03/2020 14:18

Surely making your children complicit in your affair is a form of emotional abuse? I’d leave ASAP and tell her to either tell her husband herself or you will tell him.

BusyProcrastinator · 08/03/2020 14:34

She trusted you so you can't dob her in. You'll ruin your relationship.

BUT you need to stand up for yourself and say you won't lie for her and won't coach the kids to lie. Asking you to be a confidante is one thing, wanting an accomplice is another.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 09/03/2020 18:20

To be honest I don't think that anyone having an affair gets to bleat about someone else breaching their trust!

missinginactiongeorge · 09/03/2020 18:46

stay OUT of it! There's two sides to every story and she is your SISTER. Your loyalty should be to her, he may end up leaving and you barely see him again.
She told you because she trusts you and she'll never forgive you if you break her confidence.

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/03/2020 18:58

You need to leave her house pronto. As for telling him - it’s not an option as nobody will believe you. Newly divorced, living with your sister, spending more time with her DH - he and your entire family will think you’re jealous or trying to make a play for him. The best thing you can do for yourself is remove yourself from this situation

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