To want to spend my first mothers day just my husband and daughter?

[Pondlife87]

Question is in the title. Would it be acceptable to want to do this, or should I be spending it with Grandma's too?
I don't know what I want to do yet, just wondered what people thought about not inviting Grandmas)?

For me Mothers Day is for those still in the trenches.

Single mums are arguably DEEP in the trenches, but what do they get?

I don’t think YABU

Single mums are arguably DEEP in the trenches, but what do they get?

I don't know @HatRack whatever they want they're not my problem :/ the only single mum I had to worry about was my own. Now I don't so much.

Spend it how you want. It's the first, so seems reasonable to just spend it with your husband and daughter.

The only reason why I’m not spending this mothers day with my mum / mil is because they will be travelling together. You need to role model what you hope to receive at 60 on Mothers Day. If your DD sees you exclude your mum enough she will start to do the same to you when she has a DP and kids

And why would that be wrong?
I don't see it as excluding. I hope my daughters do get spoilt and relax on Mother's Day.
A phone call on the day and maybe lunch in the week would be wonderful for me.

Being carried around on a feather mattress does sound nice though.

Also: I find it quite baffling to see women tell other women to essentially stop being selfish by wanting to spend a day with their children and not their own mother or MIL. It's yet another example of telling women to make sure and put themselves to the back of the queue and everyone else is more important.

Fuck that.

Spend the day How you like. If that's with your mum, granny or MIL then enjoy. If it's with your children, smashing. If it's on your own in a park eating a nice cake while you was a book (my preferred way) then that's fine too.

It's really time to stop judging each other on how much we should be denying ourselves an opportunity to be put first.

Have I really missed something about Mother's Day? It's always been a card, box of chocolates and get on with your day thing in my family. I basically thought it was another commercialised non-event! We tend to show our appreciation for all family members throughout the year. Genuinely confused that someone would need to spend a whole day being fussed over!

It's the card the flowers the chocolates AND CONSTANT CUPS OF TEA!!
it's a rule in our house that when it is somebody's day they do not put the kettle on. It would be a disgrace upon our house if the saintly person were to push that button.

My first mother's day was really sad. I woke to hear Jade Goody died I was heartbroken for her DC.

Think your mum has posted on gransnet!

YABU to do something because a calender says so.

It’s fine OP. If you never ever wanted to see your own DM or MIL on mothers day that would probably be a bit ungenerous, but you count too and it’s fine to mix it up.

I think YABU because you don't have plans and the fact you're asking the question would suggest that you do normally see DM and MIL on mother's day.

It's their first mother's days as your DD's GM's too.

user1494182820 Fri 06-Mar-20 23:58:43
Have I really missed something about Mother's Day? It's always been a card, box of chocolates and get on with your day thing in my family. I basically thought it was another commercialised non-event! We tend to show our appreciation for all family members throughout the year. Genuinely confused that someone would need to spend a whole day being fussed over!
........
You have a point! I'm sure it is like that for most people, younger children tend to like doing breakfast and all that (waking mum up when she might have preferred a lay in - I used to call it 'harrassment day' (jokingly)).

As our mothers got older I liked doing more, having them for lunch etc, if we could but they were happy with anything - so am I. Mine will be working abroad on the day so I may get card and flowers, may not. It doesn't bother me but I did enjoy spoiling our mums a bit.

Really it is up to the op how she spends mother's day and nobody else's business but I would have thought she'd have plenty of days with just her, her baby and husband and the mums won't be around so long.

It really does seem an odd thing to make a thread about but has gone into six pages!

It used to be called 'Mothering Sunday' and still is in church:
www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/mothers-day-2020-mothering-sunday-a4329826.html

I really can’t understand why Mother’s Day is such a big issue. Spend it how you like.

Its your first Mother’s Day. I know other people are saying it’s just another day in the calendar but clearly this is important to you and you will remember your first Mother’s Day.

I know I do. For all the wrong reasons. I was majorly struggling with my newborn baby, didn’t feel deserving of the word mother at all and spent pretty much all day in tears and feeling guilty that my child was stuck with me, such an incompetent useless mother. It’s an awful memory to have. I think it’s important to have a nice memory of your first Mother’s Day and so you do whatever you want to make it so.

I live a short drive away from my mum and haven't seen her on mother's day for about 5 years. I didn't see my grandmother on mother's day when I was a child, I spent the day with my mum, and now I spend the day with my own children.
I see my mum the day before, and give her a card and present, to show how grateful I am for her help and support.
That's my choice. I'm happy with it, my mum's happy with it, my partners happy with it and my children are happy with it. I don't really care whether anyone else is happy with it.