To want to spend my first mothers day just my husband and daughter?

[Pondlife87]

Question is in the title. Would it be acceptable to want to do this, or should I be spending it with Grandma's too?
I don't know what I want to do yet, just wondered what people thought about not inviting Grandmas)?

Well I have totally failed, as have gig tickets on the Saturday night 100 miles away and planned to stay over

Assuming there is no big back story and you get on well, just remember there will come a time when you don’t have your mother around so try not to take it for granted. The more mums and love to celebrate the better?

@ChanklyBore I lost my mum 18 months before I became a mum myself and I find this time of year incredibly hard. I'd have given anything to spend my first Mothers' Day watching her with her grandson.

Do what you want to do on Mother's day. It's just another day. But dont use being a new mum as an excuse not to go see your or your DHs mum. Babies have no clue what day it is. Its not special to them. Having g a nice meal out as a little family - well you can, presumably, do that any Sunday. Its perfectly acceptable to not go visiting on an arbitrary day. Suit yourself and what works for you but it's just another sunday.

Mothers with children still at home should take priority in Mother’s Day. Don’t ignore your mother or grandmother, but it’s perfectly reasonable to want to spend the day with your own family.

@ChanklyBore hits the nail on the head for me. My mum died far too early too and it’s just heartbreaking all over again when you have your own kids and they miss out on each other

I wish my mum lived close enough for me to take her out for mother’s day.
I might just make a long weekend of it and go up to see her and take her out for a meal. Thanks, OP.

To me mother's day is about showing appreciation for YOUR mum, not expecting anything for yourself. I lost my mum recently and would do anything to be able spoil her with gifts and my time. YABU.

Don't you want to see your Mother?

I think it depends - if you’re a very busy mum in the middle of rush hour so to speak, constant extra curricular , husband working away and for one Sunday you just want to batton down the hatches I understand.
However , if you can an hour or two with the family in-laws and your own you should .
As others have said how long would you like allllll the attention for?

I’m assuming the grandma was previously your/dh mum up until now.
Seems a bit harsh to drop them because you’ve got your own family now.
Don’t forget one day you will be dropped too

My side of my family have always gone along the lines of celebrating being a mum, so my mum got presents/cards from both me and her DM and MIL (when they were alive) and she got them something. I also got my grandmas something, and once I had DC I joined the circle too.

How would your DH like to spend Mother's day with his mother?
If you want to make a big deal.of it, it's not just daughters and mother's, it's children and 6heir mothers. Your h might want to spend some time with his mum.

It's a load of shite anyway,it's how you're valued all year not one day.

Presumably your daughter is a baby so she won't be giving you flowers (your husband might on her behalf); what I'm saying is, Mother's Day is not a big deal for you at this time but it probably is for your mothers. I used to either have them over or visit even when I had a baby.

I have a breakfast in bed/pamper morning with my DP and children and then go over to my mums in the afternoon with a little card and gift from the kids :)

Mothers day is lovely but not so desperately important that you need the entire day dedicated to you, unless you are planning a family day out which would be ruined by seeing your own mum.

Oh God, I forgot how mad 'Mother's Day on Mumsnet' is.

Weeks of posts from women 'butting heads' with their MILs and pissing up the legs of their husbands, to mark their territory.

Then another week of posts complaining about the quality of flowers.

Also obviously depends entirely on your relationship with your mum! I'm assuming though that as you are asking you are used to celebrating with her.

Dp has no mother so that has never been a conflict of plans/time for us (sadly :( )

I think the Mother's Day you really need is your first one. The 1st year is so tough. Take it and enjoy it.

I always see my Mum

When your DC are adult, wouid you want them to celebrate with you?

If you're not bothered, crack on and cut out inconvenient family members who also see themselves as mothers

My mum died suddenly a couple of years ago. I'd love to be able to make a fuss of her. My 2 will love giving me the cards they make at nursery then we'll do something with MIL. It's a day to be shared with all the mums imo, especially when your baby won't give the smallest fuck.

Do people spend time with their mums or MILs on Mother’s Day? I’ve never done that since I left home. My own grown-up/semi-adult daughters won’t spend it with me either.

I think it depends a lot on the people you associate with; most people I know don't live close to their parents, because they moved away to go to university, so don't expect to see them for every occasion. I would like to receive a card through the post from my son who is away at university, but I wouldn't even consider it something he should come home for, never mind expect it.

Shit is it Mother's Day this weekend?

Actually don't worry. It's a bit like Easter and Xmas. Means something to someone. Not me.

My mum wasn't a good mum to me and i don't like her. I'd love to have been able to do this before my dh died and spend the day with just us.

Shit is it Mother's Day this weekend?

It's still over two weeks away.