To want to spend my first mothers day just my husband and daughter?

[Pondlife87]

Question is in the title. Would it be acceptable to want to do this, or should I be spending it with Grandma's too?
I don't know what I want to do yet, just wondered what people thought about not inviting Grandmas)?

I think Mother's Day should be for those women who are actively mothering children.

I've had nearly 30 years of cards and presents, so I won't mind stepping back when one of mine has dc.

I think Mother's Day should be for those women who are actively mothering children

Agreed.

So if one doesn't live anywhere near ones mother is it acceptable for mothers day to be all about you and your kids?

So if one doesn't live anywhere near ones mother is it acceptable for mothers day to be all about you and your kids?

It wouldn’t be for me, I’d send her a card and flowers and call her. If I lived close enough to see her, I simply can’t imagine not.

Both mothers lived at least a couple if hours from us. They got a card, a phone call and flowers or a posted gift.

Neither of them questioned us staying at home for mothers day.

So if one doesn't live anywhere near ones mother is it acceptable for mothers day to be all about you and your kids?

Well if you mean your kids giving you a card and a small gift/flowers, then yes, and sending your own mother a card/gift/flowers and a phone call.

Totally acceptable in my view. To me Mothers Day is about celebrating/thanking/whatever the person involved in active parenting. Once that stage is passed and a new generation comes along then the event moves onto the next generation.

Completely fine - your DM and MIL will have had 30 odd years of mothers days to themselves, why shouldn't you be able to do the same? I've had this same debate!

For me Mothers Day is for those still in the trenches.

I meet up with my mum and fuss her around Mothers Day.

MIL is welcome to lay in front of a bus.

But it's a day to be fussed after all the work for the rest of the year.

My birthday and Mother's Day are mine.

Im spending my first Mother’s Day with just my husband and baby, husband planned a treats day. This is very much how I plan to spend every Mother’s Day from here on in.
Arranged a day the week before for to take my mum and grandma out to dinner.

I wonder if this is why there's always so much post-Mother's Day angst and upset on Mumsnet. Women expecting to be spoiled on their 'special day' by small children and their DH who, even if he remembers Mother's Day, probably rushes out and buys a card for his own mum. If you get on with your mum, spoil her instead. It really sucks when they're not there any more.

Not a big deal for me. All the mothers (ie me, my mum and my MIL) get a card and a bunch of flowers but we don't go out for lunch or anything like that.

I spent my first mothers day as a mother with ds in CAU because he had bronchiolitis. This year we are going for lunch with my husbands nan as it's her 90th. We've made cards for both grandmothers.

Personally it's not such a big deal really, I get to be my boys mummy every day.

I think you’re being a bit precious. Your daughter is a baby and won’t know or care it’s Mother’s Day. It comes across a bit princessy tbh. You might want to ignore your own mum to make it all about you but it’s a bit off to expect your OH to just ignore his too.

But then my mother’s days have always been pretty shit anyway, usually involve me doing housework same as every other weekend and popping over to see my own mum.

Who gives a shit about the babies!! No offence OP.

Why can't OP enjoy Mothers Day for herself.

We've always spent Mothering Sunday with my in-laws. My own mum died a few years ago.

I have been a bit resentful. But over the last couple of years since my kids are a bit older (now 12 and 10) I'm much more respectful of it - primarily because despite my kids becoming gradually more independent I've realised parenting is endless! All the worries I had when they were small have not disappeared as I thought they would but morphed in to different worries and no doubt they will again and again.

And MIL lights up when my husband and my kids walk in to the room.

So despite our differences we will be continuing our Mothers Day with my MIL. And a takeaway for dinner.

But you do you etc. There is no right way to celebrate Mothering Sunday.

How is this princessy?!

As a mother, i would say spend the day How you want to. If you want to spend it with your DH and baby then do it. You don't need to spend it with your own mother. And that is totally fine.

It’s just one day. I don’t really place a lot of importance on these days. Birthdays and anniversaries - yes, but isn’t every day about celebrating being a mum and not just one day out of 365? It just another commercialised day lining the pockets of florists and card shops.

How do you celebrate being a mum everyday?
Sometimes being a mum is really really shit.

Mothers day is a day I get spoilt and no housework. I send my mum a gift and a card of course.

I always hosted Mother's Day for my mum and mil until I had my son, then we switched to them coming over the day before instead, so as I could be a mum on the day not a daughter, neither of them had a problem with it and in actual fact encouraged it. Now neither of them are with us anymore, we choose not to celebrate Mother's Day, we do have a family day out but we don't do cards and presents as I don't want to put my husband and son through the pain of card shopping and not looking for one for mil. In the same vain we have not celebrated Father's Day probably since I lost my dad. X

We didn’t see my (maternal) grandma on Mother’s Day, I’m sure mum will have sent a card and flowers.

I didn’t always see my mum when my children were young, but always sent something. Latterly, after moving nearer, we’d often do lunch all together.

I suppose it’s up to each family.

Can’t see what the issue is. nothing wrong with doing what you want. I think we need backstory.

We mix it around a bit, some years we've stayed at home or had a day out just me, DH and our children, or we've spent it with my parents.