To want to spend my first mothers day just my husband and daughter?

[Pondlife87]

Question is in the title. Would it be acceptable to want to do this, or should I be spending it with Grandma's too?
I don't know what I want to do yet, just wondered what people thought about not inviting Grandmas)?

It is meant to be a day to appreciate your mother. When your daughter is old enough she can do the same for you

^^this.
Self involved much?

Now that myself and DSIS are mothers, we go to my mums and all have breakfast together in the morning and go back home for lunch onwards. Its a lovely way to doit as we get to spend time with mum and get the afternoon for ourselves. MIL lives overseas and it's not mother's day in her country on the same day as it is in the UK.
With 2 grandma's in the equation you might need a plan B. Perhaps invite both of them over for breakfast? The you have the rest of the day for you.

Grandmothers are mothers. Is their 'motherhood' less worthy of celebration than yours because you have a pfb and they are old?

Assuming it's logistically possible and they would like it, I think it's rather mean to not see your own mother /grandmother. Although you could see them a different day and do your own thing i guess as that shouldn't cause angst.

I don't see my mum on Mothering Sunday as she lives at some distance. I do send her a card etc

However, if the tradition was to see her on that day then I wouldn't stop just because I was now a mother myself. That's incredibly self-centered

How long does it take to have a cup of tea and some toast in bed and appreciate a bunch of

It’s not a thing that needs to take up any more of your day than that. Presumably your DD is a baby so won’t have much input anyway.

Bunch of daffs
Not sure why that got censored. Bit like this but yellow

it is a day to celebrate your mother, your husband's mother (perhaps even their mothers if they are still around!) and you as a mother... this is my first year without my mum, but we will still celebrate - MIL and me will be spoilt rotten!

It is not like a birthday which is all about you, you are "A" mother, not the only one - this day is for sharing.

Sorry, I agree with the poster that said it sounds a bit princessy.

We always went to see my Mum. She was my mother, why wouldn't we? Sadly DH's mum died when DS1 was a baby or we would have spent time with her as well.

Ideally you would have some time to yourself as well as stop by to drop flowers and a card to your Mum/MIL.

But, this only works if you live nearby.

I have a lot of sympathy with OP wanting to enjoy Mother’s Day in her little unit. I also understand that Mums are not around forever so it’s a shame to exclude them.

We live nowhere near either family so visits are a whole day event. My first Mothering Sunday was spent peeling potatoes and cooking as my brother in law thought it would be nice for MIL to see her new grandson, and both her two boys (my DH and BIL) on Mother’s Day and so suggested they all come to us. It was perfectly nice, but after they had gone I vowed I wouldn’t do that again as it meant MIL, DH, BIL and DS had a lovely time catch while I was in the kitchen juggling pans and preparing food. Its unfortunate that none of them cooks, but they like a roast on a Sunday and also that DS was baby led weaning and I chickened out of a pub or restaurant because of the mess. My husband agreed that it was nice to do for MIL’s sake but that it wasn’t much of a Mother’s Day for me. And what I wanted to do was take my baby to see my Mum.

We keep it low key these days and don’t attempt a family get together.

Are you close to your mum? I am not close to mine and live hours away so a card is it and the whole day is spent with my DH and DS. However if MIL lived closer (three hours away) we would take her and FIL out for lunch. Basically the morning would be DH, DS and I and then afternoon MIL and FIL. Can you not do something like that?

My DH talked up my first ever Mother's Day and said it was my special day and we could do whatever I wanted, just three of us. Then he invited his mum to join us. Then he got last minute once in a lifetime football tickets that he just couldn't say no to, so I spent my first ever Mother's Day with DD and MIL. Actually really enjoyed it and it helped to pave the foundations for a really strong relationship with MIL. DH a had a brilliant day and more than made it up to me with flowers and chocolate later. It's important to spend time together, but it is just a day.

What are you planning to do that will be so much more magical by yourselves?!

The first year of motherhood is tough. If you want to spend it just with your immediate family I think you should go for it.

Be aware that 'mums'net is pretty full of the older generation, who may feel differently since they forgot being a new mum and are now grandma!

Well lots of people here think Mothers Day is just an excuse for shops to make money,
but this sounds incredibly hurtful to me.... Ah so now you're a Mother yourself your own Mum and Mother in law don't matter anymore? Fair enough start as you mean to go on, just "your own little family" mmm

Do people spend time with their mums or MILs on Mother’s Day? I’ve never done that since I left home. My own grown-up/semi-adult daughters won’t spend it with me either. I can see it might be nice once in a while, though, but I didn’t realise it was a thing.

The first year of motherhood is tough. If you want to spend it just with your immediate

All the more reason to welcolm the love help and support Grandparents can give I would have thought though eh?

Your child doesn't care if its mother's day or not.

What are your plans for the day without the grandmas?

My Mum died young. I was barely an adult when I lost her.

I’ll be spending Mother’s Day with my DH’s family watching my children make a fuss of their grandmother on his side, and watching him and his siblings celebrate his Mum, who is lovely and practically glows when surrounded by her family. I don’t begrudge them that one bit but I do sit at the side wishing my Mum was there and wishing my Mum got to be a Grandma too.

Every second email at the moment seemms to be headed ‘what are you getting your mum this mothers day’ or ‘book you and your mum a special treat’ or some such. I spend ages in front of the Mother’s Day cards trying to find something for my mother in law that doesn’t call her Mum, because I only had one Mum...

It gets complicated.

I hate it. Another day where we're forced into doing something (usually buying).

Mumsnet is not full of grannies, JasonBrun, don’t be a prat.

Sorry OP but it really is a made-up day! Not worth a fall out over.

Phew. At least the Mother's Day Zillerism will knock Covid off the top of the (s)hit parade for a bit.

@ChanklyBore - oh my sympathy to you. I lost my DM a few years ago and it still hurts. I know how it feels to get those emails and want to cry.