Has anyone actually been outed?

[Elfranko]

Lots of people name change when posting I assume for the fear of people they know reading the story. However, alot are specific scenarios that surely people who knew the situation would instantly twig anyway.
There have been loads of times I want to post something and then chicken out incase this happens and I have absolutely no idea if anyone i know uses mumsnet.

Has it ever happened to anyone?

I have (almost) never name changed.
But then early on I made a decision to only post things I woudl say to people in rl. So anyone who finds me and searches me will not come across anything I wouldn't say in rl.
By doing that I find I also then post with more integrity, as I am aware that someone might read it an dknow it was me, and I think it stops me from doing the 'easy to be a keyboard warrior' thing.

The only times I have nc was when I wanted to give advice about something very private that I wouldn't wnat people to know, or once when I wanted advice and it was an issue I didn't want people to knwo about.

I have been outed twice. Once vaguely, I posted asking about school admissions policy and someone googled the quote I gave and outed the school. Didn't really matter, as dc didn't end up going there.
Once when I was posting about GCSes and someone guessed my dc was at same school. That one I was less happy about, as it meant I had to double think every post.

Yep. I recognised two people, would never say a word.

I had a melt down about this, just last night in fact!
Posted a thread, no name change, had some really lovely replies, then had a horrific realisation that I’d given out info that made me recognisable in real life! I was reporting myself to MNHQ at 3am begging them to delete the thread! It’s so easy to give a bit too much away by mistake.

@steppemum do you not think that if everything you say to people's faces in RL, lovely or not, was written down, posted online for everyone else to scrutinise, and kept there for posterity, someone would find something to upset them?

In real life people's opinions change over time, they have good and bad days, they say things they regret, and things that are misinterpreted. They tell little white lies, they're not always consistent with what they say to different people and sometimes they give away more information than they intend to. The difference is that it's not all published to the world at large and fully searchable in Google.

I'm surprised that people don't tell people that they've twigged their identity. I don't think it's fair to let people keep on unknowingly revealing themselves to people they actually know.

I've always told people when I realise.

Probably because it's the kind thing, Yellow, to save their feelings. I wouldn't tell and I'd go out of my way to forget the username, avoid it and definitely not advance search it.

I've just namechanged, thanks for the prompt OP.

I would only tell the person I recognised them if I knew them well. It would be awkward to have that conversation with say, a school mum you only chat to at the school gates.

i outed my dil to my ds after she posted 3 nasty mil threads...
all exaggerated and very mean spirited. with enough detail and a name trail that was definitely her.
she apologized to me and to my son, and used the concept of it being an anonymous forum to excuse her behavior.

4 years later all is well but for 24 hours it was rough going.

@fallfallfall why would you do that? An anonymous outlet that many don't have on real life and you make it harder for her? No wonder she posted three 'mean' mil threads if that's your attitude. Sometimes the truth hurts. The poor woman.

@fallfallfall

Bloody hell you must enjoy causing trouble
And why the heck did she apologise to you?

I've seen people I know on MN & vice versa. We don't mention it on here but discreetly discuss threads in RL (usually the funny ones).

I was fully due the apology. I left it up to my son how it should be handled.

Yes - I recognised a lady in a very sensitive situation. Contacted her to let her know as the details she gave could have outed her to others too.

@fallfallfall absolutely wrong of you. It's an anonymous forum, you either deal with it like an adult quietly with her alone or you keep your mouth shut. Not drag your son in and cause marriage problems too for him to handle it. No wonder she took to an anonymous forum. My MIL thinks the sun shines out of her arse and would be due an apology too, I however think she talks out of it and that's the beauty of this forum.

I’d NEVER apologise to my mil or anyone for biatching in an anonymous forum. I’d feel embarrassed, sure. But if it’s all true? And anonymous?

I spot my sister every four or five months. Hiya C

Unbelievable that you took her threads on an anonymous forum about you to your son to deal with.

I suspect that these vile threads you mention... were probably closer to the truth than you can imagine

How do you actually change your name on this? I've went in to settings but can't see how. And will it no longer then link to posts under your old name?

How do you actually search users previous posts?

People may have recognised me because I post lots asking for advice because I don’t really have anyone to ask in real life but the few people I do have may well be on here

I don’t think I’ve ever been recognised. And I certainly have never recognised anyone else!

As far as I can remember, I don’t tend to generally post stuff them at I don’t want people in real life to know...

I was. The person who recognised me PMed me anonymously and warned me off posting in an unpleasant way.

My sister recognised me instantly but I didn’t mind. I see a post of hers occasionally and think “ooh that sounds like my sister” and realise it’s her username. I don’t think she knows mine ATM as I have changed but I reckon she’d work it out if she saw a post of mine!

I once googled a problem I was facing and was amazed a mumsnet post came back as one of the hits. It was an old thread and as I read on, I kept thinking oh my gosh, yes, exactly... that’s so much like what I went through... excited to read on the replies the OP got, I suddenly realised I was experiencing deja vu.

I was the OP and had name changed to something so random and changed the particulars of the situation (to stay anonymous) so well that I didn’t recognise my own bloody post 8 months later.🤦‍♀️

I told friends about something funny that had happened to me the day before, id already posted about it on here. One responded by asking if i was on mumsnet.