Has anyone actually been outed?

[Elfranko]

Lots of people name change when posting I assume for the fear of people they know reading the story. However, alot are specific scenarios that surely people who knew the situation would instantly twig anyway.
There have been loads of times I want to post something and then chicken out incase this happens and I have absolutely no idea if anyone i know uses mumsnet.

Has it ever happened to anyone?

Oh no!!

@funkylittleboatrace is that some kind of innuendo?

An ex friend posted a nasty rant about how much of a burden I was to her, she felt I must be lying about being disabled as I look fine and was causing her a mental breakdown, should she get rid of me sort of thing. I even posted on it not realising it was about me. The general advice was to get rid.

A week or so later she printed the thread off on the advice of people on the thread, locked me in her place of work shed invited me to fit tea and a chat and tore strips off me on the basis of what had been put on that thread and then (stupidly) gave it to me as evidence of just how shit a friend I really was and how "everyone" on MN agreed; I never pointed out her stupidity and she's still here under the same name, but she's under the impression MN is only for mums so if you aren't a mum you can't post I was devastated for a long time. There were things I'd trusted her with she plastered all over her thread that were deeply personal and torn to shreds as lies by people on here (who wouldn't know any better).

The main thing I took away from that was you never know what is going on in the other persons life in those rants, especially similar ones to that. Nor do you get the whole picture from the person posting either.

I think the saddest outing was the woman who had lost her child years before and had never got over it, it was a very upsetting thread and some bastard journalist went and hunted them down on social media from pics they posted and from what she'd said about her son and it was plastered all over the news and featured on the likes of This Morning. I won't repeat the details but I've often wondered about that poor woman. I know MN supported her "behind the scenes" but that was an example of a vulnerable person being outed who just wanted some support.

I had one (under a previous name) that went viral

Was in every British newspaper website, NY times and Sydney Herald plus lots of lifestyle sites.

Thank god it was actually a funny musing about something ridiculous and nothing do with me personally.

But someone posted in the thread that The Sun had picked it up and I then panicked a bit and checked through my posting history to see if people would have been able to work out it was me and find out other stuff.

Was silly as I know full well it's a public forum - to be honest I'm glad that happened as it's made me think it through more ever since. So I regularly name change and before I post anything I think through the repercussions!

I didn't tell anyone it was me because I didn't want them to look through all my posts on that name. But when it was discussed on GMB and apparently Loose Women I felt like a secret celebrity 😂

I’ve spotted another school mum on here because she also follows me on Instagram and uses the same username for both

Not that anyone has mentioned to me in real life, but I have recognised my sister on here from something she posted on a thread and mentioned it to her in real life. Hello if you're reading this :grin:

I've seen my SIL on here posting about her daughter. It's a story that would only be her. Would never mention it.

My daughter stalks me on here if that counts.

Someone correctly guessed my village before though had given them further information on PM and wasn't especially hiding it.

I find it often starts off as unidentifiable then someone insists on knowing every detail then it becomes much more obvious. If it ever gets too obvious I get it deleted.

Becca, I think about that poor mum sometimes too with the little boy and sorry to hear about what that ‘friend’ did to you as well.

A friend once was telling me a story about something that had happened to do with her husband when they were going through a bad patch, and it sounded really familiar. I then realised I’d read a thread about the very thing she was telling me about, posted by her husband asking for advice. He was completely torn apart on here but having heard both sides of the story knew he wasn’t really in the wrong at all. I never told my friend, or her husband, just I sometimes reassure her that her husband loves her a lot, which was obvious by his post.

My sister spotted me. The first I knew of it was a text saying ‘ Good Morning User name at the time!’ I could have tried to bluff it out but I was so shocked I panicked.

Luckily that was a relatively new username so she couldn’t find anything I had posted about her! I am now even more vigilant than before about changing Identifiable details and also changing my user name regularly.

Yes I recognised by husband's ex wife on here, she made herself very identifiable, with one post even containing her name! I read her posts and found out what she'd been saying over several years. The vast majority of her posts were poisonous, nasty and just plain malicious. I addressed her on it recently and she got all of her posts deleted. Horse and stable door comes to mind. Apparently she recognised me, with some claim that dates gave me away?? Silly bit of tit for tat. I'm glad I no longer know her user name, it was toxic and actually I don't need to read what she thinks, it doesn't matter.

She's a poisonous old witch who can't move on. I pity her.

Yes. It's scary what a small world it is and how close the link between these forums and real life is!!!

Just name changed...
Meant to do it awhile ago....

I always want to message about how awful someone in partners family is, but she would 100% know it was me and you guys just wouldn't believe all the shit she does ..

I am also pretty sure I recognised my mum's friend. Someone posted about an awful situation asking for advice. The details were so awful I hope it hadn't hoped to more than 1 person. Unfortunately she got called a troll and got really attacked.

I know a few people on here who have kept the same username from another forum. We had met up a long time ago from that other forum and are 'friends' on FB so that gives a direct connection to RL. On the other side, my brain is a sieve for these kinds of details and I often forget who is who.

I know for a fact that a number of my RL/FB friends use MN, which is one of the reasons I name change fairly frequently, and would definitely NC if I wanted to get the MN perspective on a specific scenario I had mentioned to one or more of them already.

Not been recognised as far as I'm aware...
But I have spotted two people I know on here. No question about it as info was very specific. Haven't said anything though!

Yes, a "friend" posted about something horrific that happened to me, asked for sympathy for herself, went into all the details. She updated it like it was a soap opera for weeks before I found it and recognised her.
Reading about myself like that was, in what was already a terrible situation, just awful.

A fb friend of dsis had a status which dsis posted on. She then posted exactly the same, word for word on mn.
I name changed and responded on both word for word, as a hint.
I didn't really know her, and I deliberately didn't look at the username on here, so no idea if she is still posting.

I've recognized two people - one of DH's colleagues' wives, and one friend of a friend. I cottoned on due to them mentioning very unusual jobs, and then noticing that the location and DC's details match up. I've not said anything as I'm not close to them at all, and worry that would seem weird.

I do think jigsaw identification on here must be fairly easy, given that I've spotted a couple of people without searching/trying, and so name change regularly.

I recognise someone on here but I've never mentioned it to them and never would.

@Becca19962014

That's horrible. The CF threads seem to be the absolute worst for it.

I've made points on such threads saying that they seem to be escalating the situation, when it has real life consequences for the OP. Or point out, as gently as possible, that there might be more to it on the OP's side.

(don't get me started on the heroically deep textual analysis of texts...)

I've been told rather superciliously that this thread is supporting the OP, they need a bit of comic relief, they're dealing with the situation so graciously etc.

When a week later the OP has made a twat of themselves at work, or has ungraciously lost a friend or started doling out 'no is a complete sentence' type bollocks in real life and is dealing with the consequences. And the internet warriors are busy supporting someone else.

Oh yes. Been inadvertently following some one I know about the boards for years now. She's never changed her username but posts all sorts of very private things. I am good at keeping my gob shut but golly she's clueless. If I tell her now she'll be devastated as she has posted some huge secrets.

Good reason to stop using mumsnet and letting it shape my views and opinions.

Recently someone inadvertently outed themselves on one of two long threads, obviously got mixed up with which one they were on. It certainly changed my perspective of what they were posting about.

Never recognised anyone from RL though.