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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone actually been outed?

206 replies

Elfranko · 06/03/2020 09:06

Lots of people name change when posting I assume for the fear of people they know reading the story. However, alot are specific scenarios that surely people who knew the situation would instantly twig anyway.
There have been loads of times I want to post something and then chicken out incase this happens and I have absolutely no idea if anyone i know uses mumsnet.

Has it ever happened to anyone?

OP posts:
HalfManHalfLabrador · 06/03/2020 13:09

This thread has inspired me to go change my username again

FairyDogMother11 · 06/03/2020 13:11

I recognised someone from work on the conception board when I was TTC when they posted their positive test asking whether it was positive. Had used their quite uncommon name as their username. I obviously didn't mention it!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 06/03/2020 13:16

@Puzzledandpissedoff - I misremember - did you ever just cancel the cheque? Wink

Sizeablecontours · 06/03/2020 13:17

I think you recognise a friend ignore it. If they wanted to discuss it with you they would. I would not message them to say I spotted you.

^ Exactly this! It would be extremely crass to bring it up I think!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/03/2020 13:18

Don't even go there, Jaichange!! Wink

bettytaghetti · 06/03/2020 13:20

I've recognised someone on here from rl, but have never said anything to her.

I think anyone who knew me would probably recognise me, however I don't name change as it keeps me from posting anything bitchy that I might later regret! 😂

@Puzzledandpissedoff I've always wondered what the outcome was! Can I buy you a drink sometime? 🤣🤣

Littlecaf · 06/03/2020 13:22

I recognised a friend as she mentioned something that was on here - we laughed about it!

Itsallgonewoowoo · 06/03/2020 13:25

I've recognised someone from a situation and her comments. I also know my mum's name but she hasn't twigged mine as she sent me a link to something I had posted on saying it might interest me!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/03/2020 13:27

While I'd love to have a drink with you bettytaghetti I promise it wasn't anything xciting; just a cheeky cow who thoroughly got the hump when it turned round and bit her

Nothing to see here really ...

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/03/2020 13:35

One poster is a close relative of mine - I know from something quite specific she posted and looking at her other threads it was obvious.

I’ve never said anything because I don’t want to embarrass her but I hope she doesn’t say anything mean about me!!

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 06/03/2020 13:36

I recognised at least 1 person on here - 2 people as part of a group (talking about a specific issue at work for example), but I advanced search them for fun and one is definitively known. I have never told her.

I change my user name every couple of weeks, safer.

ZagZig · 06/03/2020 13:36

I knew a previous friends username. I've long forgotten how i know, maybe she was on mumsnet while i was round her house. I've never told her.
It's as bad as reading someone's diary.
I think she forgot the login and created a new one. Which is good

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 06/03/2020 13:37

What happens a lot more I think , is that people "think" they recognise someone - but they didn't. It's funny sometimes.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/03/2020 13:41

Oh also, DH once outed me! I’d started a thread under a different name about something in our relationship that was really upsetting me. He had a look and found it (he knew I was always on here at the time).

Although it may seem like a stalkerish thing to do it actually helped us. He saw the comments everyone was making about his behaviour and I believe it really made him think about what he’d done (people were largely saying he was a dickhead etc Grin.
He apologised afterwards and has never mentioned “the thing” again!

ForraM · 06/03/2020 13:44

I've seen people I know on Mumsnet but never mentioned it to them

Same, haven't said it and keep learning more about them!

Lightofthephoenix · 06/03/2020 13:49

STBXH found me on here, the thread he found was a really honest one, I had posted in the middle night.

Most posters replied LTB

LettyFisher · 06/03/2020 13:49

Yes i have been. My old school friend identified me, and I know a mum at school has also spotted me.

i have also been stalked relentlessly on here by my then boyfriends ex and she continued for years after the relationship has ended posting about my life, my past, my parenting, and even my style choices. She has named change dozens of times to write all kinds of insane bile about me, and also trying to justify her deranged decisions around him.

She writes about my vagina on here an awful lot.

I think you just have to accept that you're easy to identify if someone wants to put the time in to piece together your posts. My stalker went back to 2003 and worked out all of my names - going back to a time practically before she was even born. I name change now fairly regularly.

JingsMahBucket · 06/03/2020 13:51

@ShesGotBetteDavisEyes I love a happy ending. :)

Original poster
Elfranko · 06/03/2020 13:55

Definately a small world. I think I'll keep doing what I'm doing and take any issues to the grave then.

And next time I post I will try the name change just incase

OP posts:
TemporaryName2611 · 06/03/2020 14:00

Recently someone inadvertently outed themselves on one of two long threads, obviously got mixed up with which one they were on. It certainly changed my perspective of what they were posting about

I think I know which threads you are referring to. I was very invested in one of them and felt very sorry for the OP, but when I realised she was the same OP in another long running thread I started to feel differently because it's almost like she lives on two different streets. She comes across so differently on each one.

Ughmaybenot · 06/03/2020 14:03

I recognised my former teacher / she recognised me (as a previous student, not specifically me) and we messaged a couple times. Then I namechanged and went back underground 😂

SilentBob · 06/03/2020 14:04

Only when I once accidentally let slip what my DH's "hobby" is...

PeggySueOooOo · 06/03/2020 14:07

I have recognised 2 people before.
I told one of them (who was a close friend) because I was worried that they might post something really personal in the future that they wouldn't want me knowing and I see them all the time.
The second person was someone I am not close with so it didn't feel important to let them know. They had posted word for word the same think on FB as on MN.

Kawahara · 06/03/2020 14:10

I think I know which threads you are referring to. I was very invested in one of them and felt very sorry for the OP, but when I realised she was the same OP in another long running thread I started to feel differently because it's almost like she lives on two different streets. She comes across so differently on each one

I think I know this one too.

Unfortunately, I think it's more a case of her hunting for sympathy and how to pull the wool over authorities eyes.

Isthistrueor · 06/03/2020 14:11

Not to me but I have seen it happen on here. Embarrassingly the person the thread was about knew it was about them and called the poster out.