Hooves you and I have had this exact discussion a thousand times and it always ends the same way - I ask you a question and you ignore it, then start up a chain of mythical situations where you ask me why the woman is not treated EXACTLY the same as the man. You already know how this is going to go.
The average man, men as a class, ALL MEN, etc - don’t do enough to combat male violence. That’s the bottom line.
Society teaches men that women’s bodies are fair game - you can literally pay for a woman you’ve never met and don’t care about to dance naked for you and your friends, and this is considered standard entertainment and is to be protected and cherished.
My Nigel would never be violent to a woman - unless she asks him to choke her during sex. He will go along with this willingly because she asked for it. If he kills her then it’s her fault because she wanted it. Also she’d enjoyed rough sex in the past.
My Nigel would never rape, masked in an alleyway. But if his wife is a bit too drunk and he’s a bit belligerent and a bit too sulky, she’ll give in and that’s not rape or coercion. That’s just being a good wife.
My Nigel believes violence is wrong - yet gives his sons guns to play with and teaches them how to punch ten times harder to ‘stand up for themselves’.
My Nigel believes #MeToo is valid. Yet he joins in with office banter and wolf whistles when the other men do. He watches porn and doesn’t give a second thought to where these women came from, or how likely it is they’re trafficked or abused. He’d be appalled if that was his daughter, because she belongs to him and is therefore much more valuable property than these anonymous women on his phone. When two women accuse his favourite singer of rape, he thinks ‘well, they’re probably after his money’. When a hundred women come forward he’ll think ‘nah, they won’t all be telling the truth’.
This is quite a long post so I’ll stop now, but I’ve got loads of these.