To expect ex wife to pay her way with 50:50 shared care

[youknowitmakessensedunnit]

Women's view please! I got divorced about 2 years ago and went to court over child arrangements with ex wife eventually getting a court order for 50:50 shared care for our 1 child.

I work, ex wife doesn't
We both own our own homes
I have flexible job which allows me to have full freedom to do school runs, hobbies etc in school hours
Child has completely independent life in each home, e.g. no shared stuff
I pay for all school activities and one offs

My ex wife rather than getting a job chooses to claim child maintenance from me via the CMS, child benefit and state benefits, maintaining a position that she is the child's primary caregiver because she doesn't work.

AIBU to think she's a lazy git who should stop sponging?

A single parent when working depending on their income can claim UC, which is a state benefit I believe.
If working under 16 hours there’s things like free school meals.
Help towards council tax in addition to the discount. Help with hb. Of course depending on income and savings.

ffswhatnext non if that applies to OP.

She doesnt work at all. She owns her property outright. No HB is available.

The 25% council house discount isnt a benefit and is available to anyone who is the only adult in the house.

Assuming the OP is the only adult in his house, he also gets that. I assume he doesnt see himself as living off state benefits.

He said she has decent amounts if savings and lives off that. UC isnt available to people in pps ex situation.

Since she hasnt worked for years neither is jobseekers.

The savings she has aren’t necessarily over the threshold.
One she became a sp her previous lack of work wouldn’t have mattered as long as she doesn’t have savings. And even then iirc benefits are reduced based on savings.

If she had considerable amounts of savings, it would have been her that bought him out. Her parents wouldn’t have needed to.

Considerable amounts is too vague. At times I’ve thought £100 was a lot, other times 15k+

If she had considerable amounts of savings, it would have been her that bought him out. Her parents wouldn’t have needed to.

We dont know that. They may have done that so she can keep her savings.

She was also not working before the child.

Besides which she still doesnt qualify for UC, childcare help, HB.

She doesnt work.

Which is what I said originally. State benefits do not support a non working single parent when their children are of school age.

You are assuming she has a lot of savings.
The op doesn’t mention she lives off these, just she has savings and wealthy parents.

So regardless of her work history she can claim.
If she couldn’t claim then others in the same
Position would be all over the news.

Depending on when they seperated she might have gotten Income support and Only recently moved to UC. As long as she meets the criteria she wouldn’t be sanctioned.

And isn’t that why the main carer claims CB, as it’s a ‘gateway’ benefit.

Plus he would know if she met the criteria or not, as they would have both had to declare their savings during the divorce procedure.

You are assuming she has a lot of savings.The op doesn’t mention she lives off these, just she has savings and wealthy parents.
He said she had decent amounts put away.

But even if she doesnt have a lot if savings. She doesnt qualify

So regardless of her work history she can claim. If she couldn’t claim then others in the same. Position would be all over the news.

It is. It's often on the news how single parents struggle with UC, if they lose hours or lose their jobs. If your youngest child is above school age, you are expected to work. I may top up part time wages.

Your working history doesnt impact UC. It does impact Job seekers

Depending on when they seperated she might have gotten Income support and Only recently moved to UC. As long as she meets the criteria she wouldn’t be sanctioned.

They have been apart long enough that she stopped contact and he took her to court and won and she has put in a CMS claim.

I was a single parent until last year. On the old and new system. You do not supported on benefits if you choose not to work and your kids are of school age.

Plus he would know if she met the criteria or not, as they would have both had to declare their savings during the divorce procedure.

He has no clue about her position noew though

How is she eligible to claim child maintenance? My ex just got 50/50 through the courts and cms told me the case had to be closed and I wasn’t eligible to receive anymore maintenance. They said they would look into who does doctors apps and who looks after my dd when she is off school etc as that would mean I’d still be eligible (on his £100k + income) to receive £50 a week if I did it all but then didn’t do anything as he claimed all the parental responsibilities were shared, and then just shut the case down, so I receive nothing now.

You are expected to look for work and take part in whatever groups etc they send you on.

If a single parent with no work experience cannot claim then how do all these single people claim?

Yes I know sp are struggling on UC as are many couples. But hang on, how are the sp’ claiming UC if they aren’t eligible?

She doesnt work at all. She owns her property outright. No HB is available

i'm assuming she can still claim UC because she has a child cant she?

i might be wrong i dunno

ok, so i did a quick UC calc.

Based on single woman of 30, with one child, earning 0, no mortgage or rent living in west yorks.

Came out as £176.06 a week, inc child benefit and CT support.

So there ya go.

Unless she has over £16000 of savings, i believe.

If this was reversed genders I'm sure there would be huge abuse on the father for being a cocklodger expecting working DM to subsidise him.

There’s also 2 types of JSA. Once the working one ends, iirc you can get the other type if you met the criteria.
Which if the ex has under 16k, because she is the main carer of a dependent child, she would meet the criteria.

As much as they would love to, they have to financially support those without an income as long as thresholds are met.

Unless she has over £16000 of savings, i believe

After £6000 any claim would be reduced until the top cut off point of £16000

With that UC claim you are expected to find find work.

Not thay it comes out the same, when I do it. I live west Yorkshire so did it based on me

So IF she has ever claimed that, she will also be having to look for work.

If she is looking for work, it's really NOT the ops issue.

Do you really believe a single parents can live on benefits forever?

lovely insinuation that i am lying there

Yes as I said all along.
As long as she meets her requirements or whatever they are called she can claim.
Her lack of work history is irrelevant.
And for her to claim her savings cannot be over 16k.
They would have also gone through her savings for time before she claimed to ensure 6 Months 100k suddenly vanished.

The benefit system is there for those who need it and they meet the criteria. A person with no income and savings under this meets the criteria. Add in a child and meet the criteria.

Work coaches have some discretion when it comes to looking for work commitments.

lovely insinuation that i am lying there

It's a factual statement.

The same as people have put ops details through CMS calculatir and got different.

ffswhatnext that's the point. If she is claiming UC and managed to get anything (given they will go through her bank statements and look at her details if they think its dodgy), she will be looking for work.

So what's the ops issue?

@sashh
How are those questions relevant?

The first ones are questions that any parent should be able to answer if they are doing 50%, lots of people think having a child with them 50% of the time is 50% care, in reality it is usually one parent, and usually the mother that organises dr and dentist appointments, play dates, school trips etc.

The other questions, well why does the OP want his ex to work? If it is not going to benefit his child then why does he want her towork?

The same as people have put ops details through CMS calculatir and got different

well thats obvious as we dont have any info to go on!

we have quite a bit to go on for a benefits calc for the ex wife!

lots of people think having a child with them 50% of the time is 50% care, in reality it is usually one parent, and usually the mother that organises dr and dentist appointments, play dates, school trips etc

what and that warrants £50 a week does it? come on!

OP might well do all that anyway, though it would clearly be easier for the ex wife as she doesnt have a job!

well thats obvious as we dont haveanyinfo to go on!

We do. Average wage. Single. One child.

Him knowing so much about her begs the question 'how does he know so much detail?'

Again, I think he should back to CMS. However, I dont think his ex wife is a scrounger OR should have to work, because he would prefer it if she did.

avergage wage is a total guess.

single - irrelevant

no other kids - fine.

she is his ex wife, he probably knows quite a lot about her! Especially if his child can speak!

He has gone back to cms

Course its relevant. You said we dint know details of him. We absolutely do.

Yes, he is her ex husband. I am sure her child can talk. Cause we all know 6 years olds are known for recording parents finances and reporting them back accurately, to the other parent.

him being single is entirely irrelevant to a child maintenance calculator. Him having a partner would make not a shit of difference.

i'm not saying the child will talk directly about finances (as you well know) but they do talk about their other home freely (ime) so you do find things out you wouldnt otherwise know.

why are you so dead set that you and only you are right?