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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say ILs will have to wait for summer to see DC

121 replies

randomsabreuse · 03/03/2020 10:48

My ILs had agreed to look after the DC for me to do some volunteering this weekend.

They have decided instead to self isolate because Corona. We have no cases in our county and don't know anyone who went out of the UK at half term...

AIBU to say that they therefore will need to wait until 14 days after the summer holidays have started to see the DC (Easter holidays are too short) because clearly DC won't be any safer between now and then...

I bloody hate letting people down with minimal notice!

OP posts:
Whichoneofyoudidthat · 03/03/2020 10:52

They are self isolating because...?

AryaStarkWolf · 03/03/2020 10:54

That's ridiculous, why self isolate now? For what reason

DropYourSword · 03/03/2020 10:54

But...why would you do that?!

slipperywhensparticus · 03/03/2020 10:55

They are self isolating and havent left the country? Confused

Umberta · 03/03/2020 10:57

YANBU. They're crazy

RoscoePColtrane · 03/03/2020 10:57

I may have got it wrong, but it would appear you are punishing your ILs for not helping you out. If you are in the same county, do they really have to wait 4 months to see the dc? I think the Corona thing is ridiculous, but then I am neither old nor worried about it. I appreciate they have let you down, but your response feels a little dramatic.

InDubiousBattle · 03/03/2020 11:01

They don't need to self isolate but it does sound like you're punishing them for not babysitting for you.

BrimfulofSasha · 03/03/2020 11:02

They sound batshit- but don't cut your nose off to spite your face.
Don't stop the children seeing their grandparents to prove a point. This punishes the children, and potentially yourself if they sometimes help with childcare.

Ginseng1 · 03/03/2020 11:03

What is the connection with holidays? The afraid other kids brought it back from holidays & will pass on to yours?? You think the CV will be gone after summer hols is that why they won't see them til then? Seems very dramatic from both sides if you ask me.

Daftodil · 03/03/2020 11:04

Are your ILs in the same country as you? Do they have to travel by air? Perhaps they are worried about the airport/journey rather than the UK/your home specifically.

Older people are more at risk. Perhaps some of their friends have just come back from holidays and they think they are protecting you. It's annoying to be let down, but they probably have good motives rather than just doing it to annoy you.

iMatter · 03/03/2020 11:04

They sound batshit but please don't punish them for letting you down by stopping them see your children.

No one wins if you do that.

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 03/03/2020 11:05

They're self isolating because they're scared of Corona...

My point is that the DC's risk of infecting them with nasties will not actually decrease from where it is right now until DC have not been in school for 14 days, which will not happen until 2 weeks into the summer holidays!

OP posts:
LochJessMonster · 03/03/2020 11:12

Unfortunately YABU to punish them.
If they want to self isolate, then that's up to them.

LochJessMonster · 03/03/2020 11:13

Also, if they are self isolating its because they think they might pass on something to the DC, not the other way round.

mrsBtheparker · 03/03/2020 11:15

Pay for baby sitting, stop using your in-laws as a puiblic conveience.

InDubiousBattle · 03/03/2020 11:15

Self isolaton is for the protection of others, not because you're worried of being infected yourself isn't it? Maybe they know someone who has been to an area with cases? Either way, they're scared and punishing them isn't really going to achieve anything.

sarahjconnor · 03/03/2020 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/03/2020 11:16

If they are elderly and have heath conditions then surely it is reasonable for them to be concerned for their health.

SafferUpNorth · 03/03/2020 11:17

So they're self-isolating so that they don't catch it off your children?? Even though your kids pose no risk and there are no cases in their area??

That's crazy and totally not the point of self-isolation. You're right, by their bizarre logic they should self-isolate FOR MONTHS, until the whole Covid-19 thing has totally blown over

Can you try talk some sense into them - explain to them gently that there is ZERO NEED for them to self-isolate, that you really need their help and that, by their logic, they would not have any human contact for months.

Original poster
randomsabreuse · 03/03/2020 11:19

We're all UK based fwiw. No connections with Italy, Iran or Far East.

My point is that DC acquire lots of germs at school, and our actual risk of giving them something will not change until the DC haven't been in school for say 14 days... the only change between now and last month is their perception of the risk, and not the actual risk itself.

The only point the actual risk will change will be once DC have finished school for the summer (Easter holidays are too short to give 2 weeks clear of school) so if they're that worried about getting ill from the DC they can accept not seeing them.

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 03/03/2020 11:22

You are just punishing your children because you're angry with your inlaws. I understand why you're annoyed but you know that's not fair.

iheartislesofwight · 03/03/2020 11:26

this situation is really going beyond a joke.

Fluffybutter · 03/03/2020 11:30

I’m so confused ..

InDubiousBattle · 03/03/2020 11:31

Yes op, I understand your logical assessment but, in reality they're clearly scared and feel the should/need to self isolate. Stopping them seing the children is just punishing them for not helping you out isn't it?

mauvaisereputation · 03/03/2020 11:31

If you think that they are unreasonable for self-isolating this time, why insist that they self-isolate even more later? Confused. It's not fair to either GPs or GCs to block contact to punish them imho. They probably are overreacting but ultimately there is going to be lots of disruption because of coronavirus, and so your volunteering organisation won't be surprised if you pull out.