Breakfast guests

[LadySlipper11]

DH has just told me, at 10 to 8 at night, that we are having some old friends of his over tomorrow for breakfast! At 8am! This from the man who NEVER gets up to do our DS breakfast feed at 6.30/7am. But he can get up for people he hasnt seen for 8 years, that I have never met! I am full of rage. But perhaps IABU as I'm knackered and hormonal!

Tell him to crack on then and how much you are looking forward to your breakfast.

Cereal it is for them all then 😂

Nah, I’d not bother getting out of bed, his guests he can deal with it.

It is so incredibly rude, he’s invited guests over and not bothered telling you till late the night before.

But he expects you to presumably clean the house for receiving guests, and cook for them early in the morning?

Weekends are so packed for us we have to plan a month ahead to have guests over, we spend weekends ferrying dc to various activities, batch cooking and cleaning the house so we have a presentable house during the week.

I’d not even enter into any discussion, stay in bed, when you wake take a bowl of cereal and cup of tea back to bed and watch tv in bed.

Give him as much consideration as he did you when making such stupid plans.

I’m anywhere even open on Sunday at 8am?

It isn't surrended wife though is it? It is being comfortable enough to have people over and accepting you as you are. It is more surrended to assume (as the OP and may of the PP have) that it is her that is getting up and the house has to be immaculate to receive guests. If she wants to stay in be so be it. If she wants to be served breakfast & enjoy the company of new people so be it.

What I don't understand is why people are so het up about people turning up at the invite of their husband. If they want a red carpet it is not the wife's problem. He can get up at 8 and put breakfast on. It is no big deal.... unless you are a surrended wife.

Well @Unescorted personally we have no bread in, no eggs, no mushrooms, no coffee or coffee machine, and no dishwasher!
It's not a unreasonable thing to imagine the OP also doesn't have any of those in, and even if they did, it would likely only be enough for her family, as she wasn't expecting to feed others.

OP, your husband is a chump.

All I can say is thank fuck I married an introvert .
Random people you have never met at 8am on a Sunday?
People he doesnt know invited into your house ?

You don't seem to get that there's a huge difference between being a friendly, easy-going person who's unfussed by guests at short notice/randomers turning up unannounced with family, and what the OP describes?

so she stays in bed... making sure she takes her phone / lap top upstairs. When the bell goes he gets up and presumably finds the kettle.

Oh, phew, finally she gets it.

Asda has coco pops on the offer.

Seriously people I thought the general mindset is that you do not impose yourself on anybody at this ungodly hour on Sunday.
For people working Monday to Friday, Sunday is a leisure morning day.

OP, let your “D”H sort out the catering, seeing as he’s so keen. He created the fuck up and now expects you to step in and sort it out. No.

Unescorted, just because you'd be thrilled with it doesn't mean the OP has to be

I would not be at all impressed by this .
@LadySlipper11 you have to let us all know tomorrow how it went but make sure you stay well away from the kitchen by either staying in bed of if the weather is ok take the DCs for a nice walk .

Oh, phew, finally she gets it.

that was always my position. This is why the whole situation is no big deal. They turn up - if she wants to get up she does, if she wants to sit at the table then she does. It has never been anything else. I just don't see why anyone would think it was their problem when their partner / child / randomer decides to invite someone / themselves over.

Because not everybody wants strangers in their house at 8am

I'd be furious especially as he doesn't get up for his children. I work early on Saturday so Sunday is my relaxing day. Usually I don't even get dressed and absolutely no way I'd be up at 8am especially with so little notice.
Just stay in bed and relax. Let him deal with his friends.

Unescorted, just because you'd be thrilled with it doesn't mean the OP has to be*

It is in AIBU.... she has invited alternative opinions.

He can get up at 6 and clean and then order breakfast in around 7:00.
And he can find time between his chatting to bring you breakfast in bed.

There's no reason why he can't have a nice breakfast meeting and also there's no need for you to lift a finger for it.

We quite regularly entertain friends for breakfast but we do it at 11 am! Not 8 am. Leave him to it!

What a bizarre invite! Brunch fair enough but who wants to be that presentable at 8am on a Sunday!?

Agree with other posters to stay in your bedroom

Oh come off it Unescorted
You said it was no big deal and she would be giggling with her new friends.

Why would he invite guests over at 8am on a Sunday?? More to the point, why would they accept such an invitation?
Why the fuck can't he see his friends for lunch or a drink in the evening like a normal person? Whatever his reasons, he is VVVU to think he can invite people you've never even met to your home without consulting you and expect you to do all the work.

OP, under no circumstances must you get up at the crack of dawn to clean the house and cook for these people! If you do it will set a precedent. I mean, where does it end?? Is he going to start inviting the neighbours over for cup of hot cocoa at 11pm on a week night?

Um ... @Unescorted, I don't mean to be rude, but I just read over your posts because I was so sure you'd not actually said what you've just claimed you said.

You're now claiming you think the OP should stay in bed and let her husband deal with it all.

But, actually, in your initial post you instructed her to do the work herself - you told her she should make coffee and toast and maybe even chill some champagne. A couple of posts later you suggested that if the OP wasn't getting breakfast ready, she should be looking after the children.

So ... when exactly did you reverse your position, seeing as you now claim you have 'always' thought the OP should stay in bed and leave it all to her partner?

Oh, wonderful. If your husband is getting up early, he might as well take over and look after the baby too whilst you have a lie in. I would stay in bed.

Oh come off it Unescorted
You said it was no big deal and she would be giggling with her new friends.

The choice is hers - she can stay in bed or get up and enjoy it. Neither is a situation that requires being incandescent with her husband, who is inviting his friends around. Would you be happy with your husband / partner saying when and who could turn up at yours. I certainly wouldn't.

It's rude to be visiting people at a time when most people are in bed.

I generally am a nice sociable person, I have an open door policy blah blah but 12 hours notice for people I don't know is a bit much. I can hardly lounge about in my jammies like I could with friends. He clearly expected me to become superwife and casually exclaim "aha! I have premade and frozen some american style pancakes for JUST this scenario!" Also I'm so pissed he'll get up early to see people that hes not really in contact with but won't get up to do DC breakfast! And clearly they are not my type of people, wanting to meet up at 8am. Fools. If they say theyre off up a hill or to a parkrun theyre being permanently banned.