Breakfast guests

[LadySlipper11]

DH has just told me, at 10 to 8 at night, that we are having some old friends of his over tomorrow for breakfast! At 8am! This from the man who NEVER gets up to do our DS breakfast feed at 6.30/7am. But he can get up for people he hasnt seen for 8 years, that I have never met! I am full of rage. But perhaps IABU as I'm knackered and hormonal!

Tell him he'd better hurry and clean and get some food in. Seriously.
Please please don't cook anything. Explain to them honestly what happened when they have nothing to eat

when I asked what we were having he vaguely muttered "ummm i dont know" obviously hoping I would jump in.
Well done for not caving.

Do these people even want to be there that early? Are they doing something after or something?

I suggest OP you set his alarm for 0600 am so he can tidy up, sort the kids and prepare the breakfast he has planned, shopped and paid for. You can then “relax and enjoy” as Unescorted suggests.

I have no issue with people dropping in. I love it. Would be totally with you, @BalanchineBallet, on that - but because I'd be delighted my DP was combining some socialising with giving me a lovely long lie-in.

I would be expecting to get out of bed luxuriously around 9.30-10pm, minus children, possibly hearing some pleasant sounds of people chatting downstairs. I'd expect to wander down in my dressing gown to join in the chat late on, and I might put on another round of coffee or if DP were feeling nice, I might get one brought to me in bed (because once you're hosting, it's not particularly hard).

If it's that kind of thing, that is just fine. And it does depend on guests who are laid back and understand that when they've come for breakfast with one half of a couple, the other one may well be getting a good rest rather than hostessing. I do know people who'd do this and it'd be fine.

OP, your DP quite obviously doesn't envisage this scenario. But I think you should go with it.

Except he doesn't, Unescorted, he expects the OP to get up and provide this relaxed and enjoyable meal.

I wouldn't be bothered at all. After all, what's it got to do with you--except for the chance to meet new people and eat a delicious meal your husband has prepared in your freshly scrubbed kitchen?

Has he told you why on earth they are coming? For breakfast? Just... why???

Who even accepts an invite for 8am on a Sunday anyway?! 😂

God I love having guests, but fuck is that even a thing? Breakfast guests at 8 am on a Sunday? Do you even have food in? I’m guessing they won’t be expecting a bit of toast and a cuppa. And yes he should make it.

Where are you, Lady? Doing bedtime with your DS whilst your 'partner' is at the shops getting all the supplies in?

Who even accepts an invite for 8am on a Sunday anyway?

Germans?

#Disclaimer DF is German, he gets up at 4am

Nope not on drugs - just happy if people turn up unannounced or at short notice. We have a friendly house where everyone is welcome, whenever they turn up. If I wake up to people on the sofa or an early door bell then it is a good thing. Likewise if people drop in for dinner it is a good thing - it means my friends are relaxed enough feel they can. It makes me warm inside.

Yeah, but @unescorted, that is not really relevant to the OP, is it?

I also love it when friends feel relaxed.

But I feel less delighted when it's 1) people I've never met, who are not in fact my friends and 2) it's not a 'we' situation, it's a 'you, wife, do the work' situation.

(Incidentally, I have know a couple of very 'surrendered wife' types who loved the idea of anyone - just anyone - coming into their home. It was because they were bloody lonely, having alienated everyone who wasn't a surrendered wife, but not being able to form new relationships because their husbands were so controlling. IMO it is not a healthy sign in a relationship.)

@Unescorted, cool, what's your address. I'm a friend you've yet to make that would love to just drop in for an early breakfast tomorrow! (kidding, I don't do early on a sunday).

How utterly bizarre to wake up to strangers on your sofa
Do you have young children ?
I would be very unhappy that someone had brought randoms into my house not warm and fuzzy .

@SarahAndQuack My best mate is someone who met my dh and ds at an even & dropped their bags back at our house so they could ride back home. Never met her before, wasn't expecting it... I was still in my PJs, house was a squalid tip. Weirdly it did not matter because I didn't give a shiny one about what she thought.

But that sounds perfectly normal, @unescorted?

How is it relevant to the OP?

My kids are now 15 & 18, but we have had friends stopping over since before the kids were born.

Is this to do with a sporting event straight after ? Park run or going to watch six nations or somerhsomething straight after ?

If not they're all loons and I'd stay in bed

I wouldn’t be slapping a smile on and cooking for a breakfast date at a) an unholy hour b) with folk I don’t know c) that I was not asked or informed about d) expected to cook for as though I was staff.

My DH would always check before making a plan (I’d never say no, but it’s courteous when you share living space) and if it is his invite would shop and cook for it! Bloody nerve if not

@AudTheDeepMinded you are more than welcome.

Unescorted
The OP has never met these people
They are strangers.
How is your friends popping in relevant ?

I wouldn’t even answer the door at that time in the morning, why would anyone want breakfast at anyone else’s house unless they’d slept there, definitely leave him to it

My kids are now 15 & 18, but we have had friends stopping over since before the kids were born.

Yes ... but this is something most people do, right?

You don't seem to get that there's a huge difference between being a friendly, easy-going person who's unfussed by guests at short notice/randomers turning up unannounced with family, and what the OP describes?

The OP isn't describing a situation where her DP comes home at 7.55am with four starving mates he just met, and it's all good fun and the OP gets roped into the whirlwind of bacon butties and happy chatter.

The OP is describing a situation where her DP has already invited people, but doesn't want to actually do the hosting. So the OP is plonked into a situation where the hosting isn't the result of at-the-moment altruism or bonhommie. It's just the result of her partner being a selfish fucker.