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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
Gadgnkk · 03/03/2020 09:00

Most people get in lifts in parking structures, it’s an ordinary thing to do. They were not knowingly holding you up for 20 mins.
Anyway it’s all greed. Developers didn’t put enough lifts in to cut costs and maximise money making space. This stuff is what happens. Too many people, not enough services.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:04

"thought you'd get those responses, OP, it used to annoy me as well. In what way do people expect you to get up the stairs with a baby or small child in a buggy plus shopping?"
People dont expect you to forego the lift, and go up stairs...how silly. But they can expect you to wait your turn like everyone else. Is your child going to internally combust or something if they have to wait a little longer? If they are kicking off it's not the end of the world, take them to one side and calm them down. Or let them carry on..wont harm them in the long run and they will learn they have to either wait or dont get to what they want all the time.

Bahhhhhumbug · 03/03/2020 09:10

I hate this 'hand that rocks the cradle rules the world' mentality.... you do realise OP and supporters that this doesn't mean you literally rule the world.. right?

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 09:11

TabbyMumz
Someone did mention taking the buggy up the stairs a few pages back, but if I remember correctly it wasn't a serious suggestion and more making a funny point about lift policing and how really an able bodied person with a pram should consider taking the stairs given they don't have a disability.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:13

It's a bit like when people have a baby they think they are the only one in the world who ever had a baby.

Ariela · 03/03/2020 09:20

If OP's LO hates the pram after 15 minutes, it might be worth considering a sling. Leaves your hands free, and allows easy passage through doors, up stairs, escalators etc.

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 09:21

TabbyMumz
I agree.
Having to wait in a queue for the lift and getting annoyed enough to decide that they probably didn't NEED the lift and most people should stop being lazy and use the stairs... Whilst selectively ignoring the fact that around 20 people in a busy town centre is probably already a minority of people.

yikesanotherbooboo · 03/03/2020 09:32

I can remember hanging around for ages waiting with buggy for a lift and I do sympathise but it wouldn't occur to me that a baby in a buggy should be prioritised over anyone else who was queuing and waiting for a lift.

myself2020 · 03/03/2020 10:17

too many inconsiderate people around!
One if the reasons i don’t shop in actual shops anymore. i much prefer online. if retailers want people in the shops, they need to make them accessible
otherwise, get a sling and you don’t need lifts anymore (and yes, it’s possible even with a bigger baby). you really only need a buggy/pram for multiples!

ffswhatnext · 03/03/2020 12:14

I cannot believe someone posted that you cannot easily fold a wheelchair for the bus

If they could be folded how would it work for the wheelchair user ffs?

And the last person who got me with their sharp elbows I pushed out of the way. Someone touches me and I will react. Just like the stupid fuckers who are behind you in a queue and start pushing you.

PurpleDaisies · 03/03/2020 12:17

I cannot believe someone posted that you cannot easily fold a wheelchair for the bus

I think that was in defence of wheel chair users.

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 12:55

too many inconsiderate people around!
One if the reasons i don’t shop in actual shops anymore. i much prefer online. if retailers want people in the shops, they need to make them accessible
To be honest the main reason I dislike going shopping if I have to take the pram isn't having to queue for a lift occasionally, it's:
The fact that the main walk throughs aren't wide enough for the number of shoppers at peak times
The fact that between each rail of clothing is barely wide enough for one able bodied person to stand and browse comfortably.
The amount of tat baskets placed in the middle of aisles

LaurieMarlow · 03/03/2020 13:23

otherwise, get a sling and you don’t need lifts anymore (and yes, it’s possible even with a bigger baby). you really only need a buggy/pram for multiples!

I find this advice really unhelpful. Many, many people's backs aren't up to carting a baby around in a sling all day.

Juliette20 · 03/03/2020 14:01

It's a bit like when people have a baby they think they are the only one in the world who ever had a baby

If it's their first child, it's the first time THEY have had a baby, so of course it's a big deal.

Juliette20 · 03/03/2020 14:08

Many, many people's backs aren't up to carting a baby around in a sling all day

Quite. Especially first year post partum. And after that they are really heavy! I was very fit before I was pregnant and carried on with exercise throughout pregnancy. Remember walking 4 miles at 37 weeks pregnant. Yet still I found it hard to wear my baby for any length of time. For one thing, I couldn't do stairs with a front sling or rear baby carrier, it completely changed my centre of gravity and I wouldn't have felt stable enough.

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 15:46

If it's their first child, it's the first time THEY have had a baby, so of course it's a big deal
The poster you're replying to wasn't saying it isn't a big deal for the parents. They're pointing out that some people act like they're the only people on earth to have had a child, so come out with ridiculous ideas that we've seen on this thread like 'I shouldn't have to wait for a lift with approximately 20 other people... Most people should use the stairs (even though the number of people in town Vs number of people near lifts shows most people DO use the stairs/escalators)... Of course people should prioritise buggies and let them skip the queue... Lifts should only be available for disabled people who I consider to be disabled enough and people with buggies'.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2020 16:31

LolaSmiles
You really wouldn’t consider me “disabled enough” because I don’t present as disabled. I can’t carry a stick because I either don’t need it or it’s w weight to carry so it’s just a burden, not an aid. My real choices are walk or stay at home.

@MelanieFrontage
If you had to spend just one day in a wheelchair, you would understand why giving people in one priority is kind. They have to plan their time very carefully so they have enough for basic tasks, which you take for granted. Your gleeful posting about how your time is not more valuable than theirs sounds horrible. Just to be able to be waiting at that lift, they will have spent at least 2 hours extra doing basic tasks such as going to the loo, showering, getting in and out of the car. Their time is actually far more valuable than yours.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 03/03/2020 16:39

If it's their first child, it's the first time THEY have had a baby, so of course it's a big deal.* Yes but you have to remember this is mumsnet. The forum where some posters rub their hands with glee at the mere thought of telling someone how boring they and their babies are and that they shouldn't consider their baby special or important in any way. In fact they and their baby shouldn't be seen or heard or spoken about anywhere because people are that disinterested.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 03/03/2020 16:41

I don't agree they should take priority though. But I also don't agree that they should be made to fold the pram up and carry it and the baby and everything else.

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 17:17

Mummyoflittledragon
Oh no, when I said "people I consider disabled enough" I was referring to the people on here who think they're some sort of aspiring members of the lift police.

Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I think it's a ridiculous mentality to have and that people should just get on with their lives without feeling aggrieved they had to wait for a lift in a busy place.

annamie · 03/03/2020 17:25

If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

Yeah right, OP. Blatant lie.

And I'll stop using the lift when pram users stop using their prams as battering rams to make everyone give them way.

Robuns · 03/03/2020 17:31

I didn't use a sling with DS as I shattered my hip when I was younger and although fortunately day to day it is okay, the weight of a baby on my front was excruciating. That said, I didn't go out much because my bladder was in tatters and was awaiting surgery and there wasn't anywhere to fairly use a pram at short notice. It did open my eyes to how it must be 1000x more frustrating and tricky for someone who is disabled and always will be, I always try and make life easier where possible but places usually just have the bare minimum required legally. I helped campaign for an accessible loo in town and because one of the cafes which wasn't open and required a code meaning you had to buy something to use) it was shot down- despite the hours and hours many people put into it. Essentially, if you have a pram just wait, there are few instances where having one is a barrier to going about daily life.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 03/03/2020 18:10

Hypothetical.
What if... Now pay attention... What if there is only lift and no other access. Does anyone have a priority? Or no one?

YouJustDoYou · 03/03/2020 18:14

You don't know why they wanted to use a lift. You are not special. Your child is not special. Don't be so entitled.

BumbleBeee69 · 03/03/2020 19:45

OP, it used to annoy me as well. In what way do people expect you to get up the stairs with a baby or small child in a buggy plus shopping?

what on earth are you talking about? Nobody is suggesting OP use the stairs.. what they are suggesting is that she waits her turn... like everyone else..