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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
GuineaSomethingGood · 03/03/2020 00:31

I use a walking stick for a neurological disability which affects balance and is not dissimilar to illnesses like parkinsons, ms, dystonia etc. Yet it amazes me how often people assume me using a folding stick with a claw base is not disabled. I am 38, so why else would I use one?!!

I don't think with disability there should be a hierachy of who is more deserving (that includes temporary disability like knee injury etc). A wheelchair should not get more prioroty than a walking stick or frame and vice versa.

Yeah, it probably is unlikely that ALL of those in the lift had disability or health condition, either temporary or permanent, but the problem is you don't know which ones may have. So it is not something you can "call people out" on.

GuineaSomethingGood · 03/03/2020 00:32

MelanieFrontage I agree. A person ina wheelchair or using a pushchair has to wait there turn same as we all have to. ditto walking stick, frame. mobility chair etc

GuineaSomethingGood · 03/03/2020 00:56

I do completely support the idea of wheelchair users having priority on buses though (over baby buggies) because much harder to fold down a wheelchair. And people like me with a stick can just use the priority seats, leaving the wheelchair space free for those who need it.

SerenDippitty · 03/03/2020 01:57

There are signs by the lifts in my local shopping mall saying to give priority at busy times to people with disabilities and families with small children or pushchairs. I get the first one, but the rest, I find a bit annoying.

eaglejulesk · 03/03/2020 03:01

Of course someone with a buggy takes priority over normally mobile people

Why exactly? A very entitled opinion in my view.

squeekums · 03/03/2020 04:25

@MelanieFrontage Completely agree, we all have a right to use a lift and my time is just as important as anyone else

Juliette20 · 03/03/2020 04:58

I thought you'd get those responses, OP, it used to annoy me as well. In what way do people expect you to get up the stairs with a baby or small child in a buggy plus shopping? And there is NO WAY I'd have worn my baby in a sling and have been able to walk up and down stairs or an escalator comfortably carrying shopping. Of course there are hidden disabilities but most people are just being lazy. Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.

Kannet · 03/03/2020 05:13

For the most part I get people want to get the lift, although I cannot understand the waiting round for it if there are stairs or escalators you could use but anyway

I get very annoyed at my local department store. It's an old building with one small lift right at the very back of the store in an awkward corner. It's so so much easier to just use the escalator but time and time again I get to it and there is a log queue of mainly teenagers waiting for it. It's bizarre

LolaSmiles · 03/03/2020 06:15

Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.
Or just wait your turn like anyone else.

Or, if the idea if a queue is so terrible, don't go shopping at busy times.

Aridane · 03/03/2020 06:48

There are sometimes threads by wheelchair users (whether their own or a dependents) complaining about buggy users being selfish arses on buses. Afaik none the other way because it's clear to anyone with an ounce of sense and decency who should be given priority.

Sadly, @ErrolTheDragon, there are such threads!

Aridane · 03/03/2020 06:49

Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.

Oh, you’re one of those

KatherineJaneway · 03/03/2020 07:28

Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.

Or maybe just wait her turn like everyone else.

Sirzy · 03/03/2020 07:31

Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.

I bet your the type that see someone like DS heading towards the lift in his wheelchair and runs to get there before us.

okiedokieme · 03/03/2020 07:33

Anyone can use a lift and many disabilities are hidden. I have a dodgy knee aggravated by stairs, especially going down!

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 07:36

It's the old "you cant tell from looking at people if they have a disability" isnt it? You have no idea how many of those people need to use the lift and actually 5 floors!!!!

Pippioddstocking · 03/03/2020 07:37

I agreee that lots of disabilities are hidden but I think it is just common courtesy to allow people with buggies and wheelchairs to use the lifts if you are able to walk.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 03/03/2020 08:49

Stand your ground, get your sharp elbows out and get in that lift.
Sure...
Some parents can frankly go fuck themselves with this attitude. Elbows. Ffs.
Also using pram as a ram. I had 3 pairs of shoes ruined by someone essentially attacking me with their prams. Or pushing pram towards the road because that stops the drivers so the CF can cross and doesn't have to wait like others. I could go on with these.

You all made a conscious decision of having a child and I assume that you have thought about difficulties it can bring. There is absolutely NO reason why that should actually make you a priority compare to others. Same goes for Christmas holidays. Childfree have families too. It's quite unbelievable how much one's choice to have sex without protection affects others, isn't it.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 08:52

"Of course someone with a buggy takes priority over normally mobile people"

Why on earth would they? I dont get this at all. What reason do they have to get to the top quicker?

JustBecauseItWorkedForYou · 03/03/2020 08:54

Our shopping centre states priority for wheel chair and pushchair users.
There have been occasions I'm too lazy to walk but not if it's busy
Before Xmas after 30 min waiting for the lift I ended up walking out the centre up the High St and all way round to get to the lower level of the centre it was full of teens and young people, andni know some may have mobility issues but I'm talking loads.. I was 36w pregnant and struggling with toddler in pushchair so it was very annoying

JustBecauseItWorkedForYou · 03/03/2020 08:55

@TabbyMumz
Maybe because mobile people could use the stairs or escalator?
A pushchair you can't.. We'll shouldn't.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 08:55

"I agreee that lots of disabilities are hidden but I think it is just common courtesy to allow people with buggies and wheelchairs to use the lifts if you are able to walk."
But they can use them, when their turn comes. Just like everybody else.

Kimbaland · 03/03/2020 08:57

Just because you have a child it doesn't put you to the front of the queue. It may do for most things but you can't demand to be the first in the lift

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 08:58

"TabbyMumz
Maybe because mobile people could use the stairs or escalator?
A pushchair you can't.. We'll shouldn't."

Dont see why they need priority though. Noone is stopping them use the lift, they just should take their turn.
When I was pushing buggies around I never thought I had priority over anyone else.
My partner has brain injury, he goes in the lift, therefore so do I, therefore so do the kids! If a pushchair turns up..they have to wait their turn.

Kimbaland · 03/03/2020 08:59

Regarding elbows and ramming people with a pushchair if you touch me be prepared to get hit in the face, by someone without a pram to slow them down!

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:00

"Just because you have a child it doesn't put you to the front of the queue. It may do for most things but you can't demand to be the first in the lift"
Agree. A lift isnt like a lifeboat..ie women and children first. Theres always another one in a few minutes.