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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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SM doesn’t want me in the house

999 replies

Eggandbeans · 29/02/2020 11:16

I am nearly 30 and I’ve had a SM since I was 13. She wasn’t the OW and we always got on pretty well. I have 3 half sisters who I love but I don’t feel much for my SM. She’s always been good to me but as with any family there are things that I’ve resented, like when they go on a family holiday and I don’t get an invite. I’ve not rocked the boat but being honest I have maybe made a few subtle shots at her for it. I’d have liked to be closer to my DD and DSs but they moved to Cornwall before my DSs were born and I live in Kent near my DM and her family. I used to enjoy the “holidays” down to stay with them but as I got older I felt pushed aside and that I ultimately missed out because of the geography of it all.

Now my SM and I have had a little spat - she says it’s my fault and I don’t see it as overly important but she is very upset with me. My DD is trying to mediate but has now said that I can’t stay in the house anymore and he will have to meet up with me elsewhere. This has shocked me because I thought that whatever went on with me and SM wouldn’t have any bearing on my relationship with my Dd and DSs. Aibu?

OP posts:
Shamazing · 01/03/2020 12:53

Personally l think that as she treated you as an outsider to her family in regards holidays etc... then she can't expect to be suddenly a "family member " to you.

As she treat the OP as an outsider OP - not the dad though @FourDecades? Again, someone blaming the SM when in fact the decisions could have been made by the OPs mum or dad. But hey, let's just blame the SM anyway ...

Sotiredofthislife · 01/03/2020 12:57

Did your stepsisters get invited on the nice holidays you had with your mum? No????????

Really? That’s the same? The number of people on here who think it’s about the holiday itself. The inability to see it’s about inclusion as a family member, not being forgotten about, not being left out. The OP could have had hundreds of 5 star holidays with her mum but still feel upset her dad didn’t think to squash her into a two berth caravan with her half siblings for a wet weekend in Blackpool.

sendhelpppppp · 01/03/2020 13:01

but still feel upset her dad didn’t think to squash her into a two berth caravan with her half siblings for a wet weekend in Blackpool

But she wasnt upset about that. She was only upset about florida.

Thats funny isnt it.

saraclara · 01/03/2020 13:04

Seriously, OP, you do sound like a stroppy teenager and not a 30 year old adult. And the drip feed makes no difference to that.

Whatever the past, be a grown up. Accept that you upset your SM, and apologise for doing so, whether or not it was intentional.

You have a LOT to lose here, as does your future child.

UniversalAunt · 01/03/2020 13:04

@Eggandbeans your post this morning does you well. Your perspective of the breakdown of your parents’s marriage & how the practicalities played out in the earlier years sounds measured & reasonable.

Your DM & DF dumped the ashes of their toxic relationship on you, & left you isolated without support. Your hurt is understandable & it sounds like you just had to suck it up. It does sound like your SM was supportive as you grew up. But to be fair, she is now older, things are harder & her three children are growing up (at least one is in early teens) with probably scant time for herself let alone her DH & you. As we all know there is nothing quite like an early teen to try the patience of a saint & throw a settled family into chaos. Incidentally , this may be one of the reasons for your SM to pull up the family barricade - to manage better the stresses of family life.

But here & now, this hurt & resentment is running you & not to your benefit. You do need to work through this stale shit with a professional counsellor - before you have children when you will be laying down new layers of emotional complexity. You may unwittingly compound your earlier wounds, & set your children up to relive/relieve your own grief (lost father, replacement by new baby sister) & guilt (suppression of your feelings to appease your mother’s distress &/or disapproval).

If by any chance, your IVF is not based on fertility issues & you have time, I strongly urge you to pause the complex medical processes until you have resolved the hurt & distress left by the breakdown of your parents’s marriage & the fall out over the years.

Your SM is not at fault here. By your actions & attitudes, YOU are keeping yourself as the hurt teen - not the best emotional place to have a baby for anyone.

No parent is perfect (phew!) & everyone fucks up along the way. But good enough parenting allows people to fail & make good.

I can understand that it may seem unfair to apologise for hurting someone - intentional or not - but this is what is due to your SM. This ma y seem even harder as your DF & DM in a sense owe you an apology for the hurt they unintentionally caused you when they split & how they supported you through the difficult times afterwards.

Hypothetical - How would an apology from each of your parents for that hurt feel to you?

Circular, isn’t it ?

So, time to get off the merry-go-round, get some help now, get sorted & have a good life.

CJsGoldfish · 01/03/2020 13:05

OP, do you understand the damage your mother did to you and the relationship with your father? Surely now, as an adult, you can see this. I have NO doubt whatsoever that your mother is jumping for joy at the pain you've caused your SM and father with your nastiness. I also have NO doubt that there is a whole lot more to this but, as it wouldn't paint your mother in a good light, you're probably quite unaware.

At the least you really need to look into some counselling so this doesn't affect the way you parent your child too much

GlamGiraffe · 01/03/2020 13:06

This sounds like your problems lie with not liking DM, wanting SM to be a mythical wonder being rather than a nice ordinary person who has tried to do her best. In fact it sounds like nothing will ever be good enough for you.
You sound like you are overflowing with self obsession. Ask your DM why things are the way they are. Be responsible for your own behaviour now and throughout.
You have some serious issues, It's not your SM from what I'm reading. You were just nasty for nasty's sake. ....fast forward to your hypothetical child, how would you feel about someone speaking to them they way you did?
You were wrong to behave that but your mind sounds very mixed up. You need a lot if counselling.

DuLANGMondeFOREVER · 01/03/2020 13:08

IVF is probably fucking with your emotions right now too. It’s tough to go through, both psychologically and hormonally/physically.

This thread could be the start of a happier, healthier family life for you, if you let it. Please seek out counselling. You will feel better.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/03/2020 13:09

Some people are so keen to be SM bashing they are completely ignoring the fact that the OP has said the SM has always been good to her, the SM has always messaged her and stayed in touch. They are ignoring the I have fired some shots at her, and most definitely ignoring the bit where OP says her DM allowed her to stop contact for a while, was glad when they moved away, and she couldn't go for Xmas because she didn't want to upset her DM. Despite the OP herself along with her DM reducing contact, her DF and SM made the effort to travel back and see her a few times a year and then paid for OP to travel down to them when she was old enough.
The person most to blame here is the OPs DM.

Snowymascot · 01/03/2020 13:17

Wow your last update make me feel even more sorry for your stepmom, but I also feel sorry for you. It seems you havent been allowed to feel any emotion With regards to your parents divorce.

It’s your mum and dad who are at fault here. Your mum should have encouraged you to keep in touch with your dad but she didn’t. She didn’t “allow” you to cut back on the contact with your dad, she wanted it because it suited her.

I think you stepmom seems lovely and I think it’s a shame that she thought you 2 were close but you weren’t and I think it’s a shame that you have said it wasn’t your fault that your not close. As an adult it is a bit of your fault but it’s also your parents fault. I really think you should seek some counselling

ineedsun · 01/03/2020 13:27

Bloody hell, your step mum seems to be the only person who's made an effort to be a consistent presence in your life without their own drama or agenda. Your mum tried to keep you away from your dad, your dads rubbish at keeping in touch and your step mum kept on top of maintaining your relationship with him. She didn't try and overstep the boundaries of your relationship but was consistently there for you till you were an adult. You seem to resent the fact that she has stopped treating you like a child.

Your step mum is not the issue here. I'm not surprised she's had enough.

Not sure if anyone else has suggested it but you might find therapy helpful to enable you to try and resolve some of your misdirected anger.

sleepingpup · 01/03/2020 13:48

OP

As it stands you are left with a Dad who will only meet up with you on his own and your DM. Who has been a really negative influence.

Unravel all this OP. Get help for the hurt you experienced as a child. Allow yourself to grow up emotionally. Apologise to your SM. She has been a force for good in your life.

You will be a better parent.

Maduixa · 01/03/2020 13:49

Eggandbeans - if you don't mind a (long) "benefit of hindsight" comment from a step-grandchild -

My mother's father remarried (my grandmother had died) when my mother (then 18) and her older brother A (20) were already out of the house. Her younger siblings B (11) and C (8) - there's an age gap because a middle sibling died young - grew up in the house with "Kate" and eventually called her Mum. A half-sister D came along a few years later. I know my mother and Uncle A were both hurt to be excluded - even though they were adults, and had coped (and helped the younger children cope) with their mother's death, they still needed their father. And in their view, he wasn't there for them because he was tied up with Kate and the "new" family.

My siblings and I, and Uncle A's children, have always called Kate Kate. Uncle B's and Aunt C's (and Aunt D's) children call Kate Gran. We all call D Aunt D. This might have been a bit weird at family gatherings, but it was what ended up working for everyone. As a child, I'd have happily called Kate Gran, like (most of) my cousins did - but my mother clearly wanted me to call her Kate. Now the next generation - including my niece and nephews and Uncle A's grandchildren - all call Kate GG (for Great Gran).

I don't think your issue is so much what your actual children eventually end up calling Jenny - it sounds like that's years away, anyway? It's that you made a point of saying they would NOT call her any version of grandmother, when there was no need to talk about that at all, and then doubled down when she was clearly upset about it. Of course, it's your choice what your children call her - but don't risk losing half your family over a hypothetical!

You obviously care about your dad and your half-sisters. Jenny is a member of their family and therefore part of yours. It makes sense that you don't call or refer to her as your mother - you already have a mother. But children typically have more than one grandmother - so (hypothetically) why not 3? Jenny's not your blood relative, true - but I call my uncles' and aunts' spouses aunt and uncle, and they are also not related by blood.

In your place, I would reach out to Jenny and apologise for (inadvertently) hurting her. Stay away from the name discussion. Don't make any promises about what you'll do if and when you have children; just acknowledge that you understand her reaction and care that she is upset. To say she's your dad's wife to you and nothing else - I understand what you mean, but it's not nothing. You do have a long-standing personal relationship. And she's your (half)-sisters' mother, and the future grandmother of your hypothetical childrens' cousins. The "what do I call my step-grandmother?" question will work itself out in time.

As far as the holidays are concerned - I can understand being hurt about that. But you are an adult now - once things are back to normal, maybe chat with your dad and Jenny about planning a holiday together, and bringing your half-sisters (I'm assuming they're all under 18) along?

Bluntness100 · 01/03/2020 14:10

Gosh this isn’t good, it makes the step mum seem like a really nice person who tried hard. Op you grew into an adult who resented her. And as a thirty year old woman you still want them to be paying for you like you’re a a school kid, because your half sisters get paid for. Even though they are kids and need to be.

If this is true I think you would benefit from getting counselling, because your behaviour is not right and incredibly damaging.

I’m also wondering if this is a reverse as who would admit to behaving so poorly with no remorse or personal responsibility.

sendhelpppppp · 01/03/2020 14:20

I’m also wondering if this is a reverse as who would admit to behaving so poorly with no remorse or personal responsibility

People who have been manipulated by a parent for most of their life. A lot of adult step kids are like this because theyre taught a version of "your dad left you for HER and SHE ruined our life" - and because its coming from your mother (usually) youd believe it because why would you mother, the person youre closest to in the world, lie to you?

IronShame · 01/03/2020 14:44

As nice as it is, it's not your SMs responsibility to include you on holidays etc..., Or certainly not to the same extent as it was your father's. He is your dad, he had a choice. This 'he is just a little poor man who doesn't whatever she tells him' doesn't wash. He is to blame for you feeling excluded as a child. She may not have been the best but ultimately his feet are where the blame should be placed.

I also think expecting to go Florida as an adult is ridiculous. Pay for yourself if you want to go. I'd never dream of complaining to my parents for not paying for me, an adult woman, to join them on their holiday.

I also think this should be more about what your hypothetical children want to call the people in the family, rather than what you 'allow' them to. Your child could have a really close relationship to her. I don't see why it matters that she's blood or not.

I agree with others, it sounds more like you said it just to be horrible and are now claiming it's just fact and unemotional because you've been called on it.

I'm not surprised she's upset with you.

xGAIAx · 01/03/2020 14:53

I’m also wondering if this is a reverse as who would admit to behaving so poorly with no remorse or personal responsibility

Sadly there are people who do, it's bizarre. It reminds me of "you made me hit you"

Winter2020 · 01/03/2020 15:46

Purpletigers

"You were spiteful , I presume you would want her to treat your child like her own grandchild.
I can understand her hurt tbh"

That's a good point OP. Will you be expecting Jenny to treat your children like grandchildren? To travel to see them when they are born, to buy cards and presents and perhaps travel to see them or invite you around birthdays or Christmas? or will you be fine with them being "nothing" to her. I'm telling you honestly of the people I know there is a possibility but no guarantee of cards or presents if you rely on the menfolk. Family and friends that I know see very little of their relatives when the women fall out or don't get on. If you can't make up with Jenny in some way then you really are changing the future of your family for yourself and any children that you have.

MulticolourMophead · 01/03/2020 16:27

OP, do you realise just how much you revealed with your posts, especially the latest? It doesn't paint your DM in a good light at all, the opposite in fact.

You are targetting the wrong person in your SM here. Your anger should be wholely directed at your DM and DF, especially your DM. I would not be surprised to find she'd been dripping poison in your ears about your SM as you grew up.

You really need therapy to unpick all of this, and before you have a child.

And apologise to your SM, she's the one person of the three adults who actually tried.

As for blood relationships, I personally feel that the more people in a child's life who show love and care outweighs any blood relationship. Blood isn't that important.

IronShame · 01/03/2020 16:57

Yeah sorry OP but that update just makes me feel more sorry for your step mother and even less so for you and, especially your mother.

It sounds like your SM actually didn't do anything wrong, it's all just how you perceived things to be which sounds like it mostly came from your mother if anyone.

MzHz · 01/03/2020 17:21

Parental and step-parental alienation right there op, and what you described is actually one person who wasn’t obligated to give a shot about you who clearly has gone out of her way and I do the best she could while her dh, your dad, did the bare minimum and your mother did sweet fuck all to help you find a happy medium.

I agree that there would help, I hope that you are able to find a way to make up with SM.

Sounds like she’s done pretty well as well as she good in the circumstances and you’ve just chucked it all back in her face.

Yeah she’s hurt, cos you’re still backing 2 shit parents when she’s tried harder than the 2 combined.

You can come through this, the time to get therapy is now. It’ll all be ok in the end, but it’s down to you to put yourself in the right frame of mind

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 01/03/2020 17:27

I think you're being a little bit unreasonable. My DH has a stepdad. He calls him dad. I acknowledge him as my father in law and my DC call him Grandad. He's been around most of my DHs life, so why wouldn't he be my DC's grandad?

I think he would be hurt if we didn't include him, and can imagine why your SM feels the same way.

Figgygal · 01/03/2020 17:30

Read all your updates op and yes I’m not surprised you’ve upset her. She IS your family not just your dads wife after all these years.
You’ve a massive chip on your shoulder about something maybe work out what it is

JKScot4 · 01/03/2020 17:37

Your last update is an eye opener, your SM has been good and kind to you. You seem very jealous of your younger sisters, obviously your dad spends on them; they are dependent children, you are 30!
You seem stuck in a jealous teenager frame of mind, this woman has done her best, it’s not her fault your parents divorced, is your dad allowed grandpa privileges? He’s the one that left you not your SM.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/03/2020 17:39

My mother allowed me to cut contact with my father when he met my SM and this lasted for many months.

So- YOU chose to cut contact, and your DM supported your decision (I'd been wondering if your DM had had any part of all of this)

When I met my SM she was nice but I still hated her

She was NICE

When they moved I didn’t feel I was considered. My DM was glad as it meant she didn’t have to see my Dad anymore and I didn’t feel I was allowed to be sad about it. My dad and SM visited me regularly

Again - not your step-mother's fault - or even your DF's possibly. Perhaps she needed to be near her Cornish family when she had a young baby; perhaps it was work-related; perhaps your DM had caused problems . . .

Later they paid for me to travel to and from Cornwall independently so I could stay with them for a week at a time during holidays. I never had Christmas there until i was an adult because I didn’t know how to ask my DM.

So you might not have had the joys of being in a tent at Filey with them and your 3 toddler step-sisters, but they gave you holidays - and your MOTHER didn't like it . . .

As I got older SM and I had a laugh together and long chats about everything. BUT I still wouldn’t have really minded if I didn’t see her anymore. Is that wrong? I never got any time with just my dad and my dad wasn’t brilliant at keeping up contact with me between visits. SM and I would text but I just wanted my dad to make more effort

So - your SM did her best to facilitate a relationship with you; your DF couldn't be arsed between visits . . . has it never occurred to you that if it hadn't been for your SM there might not have been any visits? That your DF might just have moved on with his life, written you out of it as just a drain on his finances and not bothered with you ever again? And that this would have suited your DM down to the ground? If you had had a different stepmother, you might not have a relationship with your Df at all!

I'm not going to pick any more bits out - I think you have behaved appallingly towards your SM, and unfortunately you are so locked in your own pain and bitterness that you can't even see it. Your SM isn't the one you should be complaining about. It's your PARENTS who have caused this. Your DM as well as your DF. What a pair!

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