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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my six year old sleep in my bed

128 replies

JJPC · 27/02/2020 20:37

My husband has recently left the family home, it’s been upsetting for all of us and my six year old has been struggling to sleep. He’s worried that I will leave too.
To comfort him and help him sleep I’ve been allowing him to sleep in my bed.
I’ve told school about our change in circumstances so they can best support him and as part of this support he has told them that he’s sleeping in my bed. He’s not complained about it or said he doesn’t want to, just that he is.
Today we had parents evening and his teacher called me out for it and was quite critical. I can’t see what I’ve done wrong.
So AIBU to let a 6 year old who’s sad about his dad moving out share my bed for a little while?

OP posts:
SocialMediaUser1511 · 27/02/2020 20:38

No. Your teacher has no right to get involved. Your child needs comfort at the moment and you are responding to his needs.

BeardyButton · 27/02/2020 20:40

Christ i used to be a teacher. How utterly inappropriate of her. Id complain.

SophieLeGiraffe · 27/02/2020 20:40

My son regularly sleeps in my bed as a treat just because he loves me and likes being close to me. You’ve done nothing wrong at all and should keep doing what you think is best for your son.

Sally2791 · 27/02/2020 20:41

Teacher is out of order. My DC much older than that slept with me for several years during a time of uncertainty. Your role as parent is to provide security.

BeardyButton · 27/02/2020 20:41

And you are 100 percent right to let your kid sleep with you.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/02/2020 20:41

It is 100% none of your teacher's business. There is nothing wrong with it, it seems an appropriate way to comfort a small child.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/02/2020 20:42

Also, by dc have not had any similar issues, and I still have them in bed with me if they are ill or upset.

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 27/02/2020 20:42

Of course it's fine and a nice thing if it helps him feel secure. It's a very odd thing for the teacher to even bring up or have an opinion on. I'd shut down the conversation as it's your call and not hers. I could understand a teacher having an opinion if you were putting him to bed at midnight or neglecting him but on lots of cultures this is standard practise and even in the UK it's not unusual to do with a distressed child.

pumpkinpie01 · 27/02/2020 20:43

Nothing to do with the teacher , lots of dc this age still get into bed with their parents. Ignore her.

Lllot5 · 27/02/2020 20:43

Tell the teacher to mind her own business. Do want you want.

user1495884620 · 27/02/2020 20:43

School are twats. hth.

GeraltOfRivia · 27/02/2020 20:43

It's none of the teacher's business. If it brings him comfort while he adjusts to changes at home then you keep on doing it. All you're doing is making him feel supported and loved.

22Giraffes · 27/02/2020 20:43

Absolutely nothing to do with them, my 7yo ds is currently snuggled with me in bed as he's not feeling well. I'm sure your ds finds it comforting and reassuring to be close to you at night so please don't worry Bear

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/02/2020 20:44

YANBU. I'm a single parent and my 6yo DS still sleeps in my bed about 50% of the time. He is afraid of the dark, it's a comfort to him and I'm happy to let him.

Aeris1 · 27/02/2020 20:44

My little boy is 4 and sleeps with me, he is autistic, has very bad anxiety and often wakes through the night. It is better for both of us, It has been called unconventional by some 'professional people' but he needs me and I want or be there for him. If you are both happy and feel safe then do what is best for you.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 27/02/2020 20:45

My 7yo regularly sleeps with me. The school are aware of it and have never commented. How dare the teacher make you feel bad about it

Poorolddaddypig · 27/02/2020 20:47

You would be unreasonable to NOT let a six year old sleep with him mum when he needs to! Teacher is an arse - unprofessional and frankly just wrong. I’d complain (and I’m a teacher). You’re doing the right thing by being there for your child and comforting when they need it.

Pinkflipflop85 · 27/02/2020 20:47

Absolutely none of the teachers business and she has really overstepped the mark there.

Josephine90 · 27/02/2020 20:47

He's 6 and his Daddy has left. You're providing that comfort and safety for him. He's still a baby! The teacher can fuck right off.

faracrossthepond · 27/02/2020 20:48

@JJPC YANBU. Tell the teacher to mind their own business. How rude!

If it comforts your child then do it.

Whatsername177 · 27/02/2020 20:49

Called you out on it? How very dare the teacher do that!! I'm a teacher, I hate teacher bashing threads. But this is not in a teachers' remit. As long as your son is happy, it is no body else's business. If your son had said he was unhappy and the teacher gently explained his feelings as he expressed them, fair enough. If s/he just gave their own judgement on your situation- not okay at all!

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/02/2020 20:50

My 6 &8 year olds started doing this when their dad moved abroad. Went on for a few months, sometimes both of them ended up in my bed. They stopped in their own time

I mentioned it to the 6 year olds teacher who said one of her dc was the same.

Carry on as you are

Toseland · 27/02/2020 20:51

Oh dear, my 9 year old sleeps in my bed 2 or 3 times a month, it’s not occurred to me that there is anything wrong in that.

Charlottejbt · 27/02/2020 20:53

It's got naff all to do with the teacher! How dare they try to interfere and criticise when you're going through a difficult time.

It sounds as if you're being a very kind and supportive mum. My kids have slept in my bed when they were older than your DS and nobody has ever commented on it AFAIK.

TwilightPeace · 27/02/2020 20:54

You are doing the right thing! It’s a lovely comfort for your son.
The teacher can feck off.

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