Sorry, I am late replying @BrokenMumTeenDD and I see the conversation's moved on a bit.
I was responding to your post where you said 'We pointed out that she wasn't old enough for sex anyway, so could she please wait until she was old enough before making decisions to announce to the world, as such things should really be private anyway'.
To me, that read as you saying that these things should be 'private' and, unlike a child who's straight, she should not express her feelings, or at least she should restrict how much she talks about her feelings.
I think that is fundamentally cruel and very wrong.
I take your point that you say the situation was slightly different, and you hadn't issued an all-out ban on the subject. But, since you imply you associate this response specifically with her sexuality, it does seem quite clear you think that different responses are appropriate for children who talk about heterosexuality and those who talk about homosexuality. You say 'Nobody told her she couldn't talk openly about anything, she wasn't at an age for it really to be an issue, so it didn't need to be the main topic of conversation all day & everyday, which it was becoming.'
I don't follow how a child could not be 'at an age for it really to be an issue'?
How old does a child need to be to express an opinion?
I think this is really the main ground on which we disagree. You seem to think presumptively straight children can explore their feelings from however young they like, but children who might be gay or bisexual should be actively discouraged from doing so.
I'm sorry, but I think that is hugely harmful. If you do this to your child, how can you ever be sure they won't repress their sexuality in order to please you? They will surely get the message that you disliked them talking about innocent crushes. They will start to feel they have done something unacceptably 'adult' in simply having a normal childhood response.
Think about how you're representing sexuality that isn't straight.
Knowing that someone labels themself as gay or bisexaul is not knowing 'intimate details of sexual preference,' is it? We could say that each time you refer to your husband in public conversation, we are all confronted with the lurid and graphic details of your heterosexuality.
TBH, probably most of us cope with those references with nary a blink of an eye. It is not a big deal, even though each time you refer to your husband you are insistently declaring your heterosexuality to people who might not want to hear such a public and overt statement of your private sexuality. Right?