Humiliated myself at work

[millerjane]

Never felt wors - need a handhold

Just wanted to say well done, you. It took a lot of guts to go in and do the presentation again. Really proud of you and your courage. I think you have been very hard on yourself in all this. Just think if this had happened to a friend, and what you would say to her. We are sometimes very hard on ourselves. Also, just because you didn't feel any symptoms of a UTI at the time, it may be that your body was reacting on some level. Anyway, you be kind to yourself, I think you're amazing!

You need to just chalk this one up to experience OP. It's shit when this happens, but as a senior manager who does a lot of presenting, I can a) guarantee it has happened at some point to everyone and b) no one will have noticed it was as bad as you think it was.

Well done. It sounds like you did a good job. Try to focus on the positive things people say and the advice on how to improve. It's all positive. Mistakes are not the opposite of success, just stepping stones on the way to achieving it.

OP, can I ask if you've had problems with depression and anxiety in the past? You may want to think about seeking therapy or at least a GP appointment to talk through various options. I have a lot of empathy with you, and I think the previous posters who mention imposter syndrome are bang on. But - the fact that you felt the need to call the Samaritans because of a presentation that went wrong, that makes me think this is a much deeper issue. I sympathize; I went from Confident Kick-Ass to being hospitalized with anxiety, following my youngest's birth. I had a lot of therapy and meds and I'm a different person now. Please reach out for help.

If it makes you feel any better OP, I poured a very expensive cocktail over my own head last Saturday in front of lots of young and trendy snobs

My husband and my son used to take betablockers (atenolol) when doing presentations. They helped them a lot and they only needed them for a while, i.e. they weren't habit forming. From what I read, lots of people use them for this purpose.

Yes , My ds’s friend takes them for GAD and they help her a lot

Thanks for the considerate messages.

OP, can I ask if you've had problems with depression and anxiety in the past?

I have been diagnosed with both in the past. I would consider myself "recovered"/normal on a good day (on a day to day level) but the instant something goes wrong I end up feeling as if my life is imploding. It's a bit cyclical tbh.

I have just rung a few psychologists so hopefully this can be worked on.

I'm glad you've contacted someone, OP. It's always good to have support in place. I think we're similarly situated - I too consider myself "recovered" but something can trigger a downward spiral.

Nobody died or fell out of a window whilst simultaneously shitting themselves.

Wow, the benchmark for a successful meeting is pretty low in your company. [big grin]

Thanks, I can't stop laughing hysterically now.

OP, just read some posts from the end of the thread - Yay! You did it! And you have a lovely manager. And you're taking positive steps for yourself. This is all fantastic.

I think you were so brave to go back in there & do it again.

You haven't faked anything. You're clearly very clever & determined.

Well done for today, OP. That took some guts.

Well done @millerjane But in the future, most people use betablockers. They do work.

You should be really proud of yourself for getting through that!

Well done.

Beta blocker use before stressful 'performances' type events, is very common, and not habit-forming. I was prescribed them for heart palpitations, not anxiety, but they prevent/diminish the physical signals of stress like a racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, butterflies etc, which 'tricks' you into actually feeling calmer.

Well done and No you most Certainly can’t fake a 1st class degree, you’ve got that because you deserve it.
This is a blip, a bad day, it’s temporary and will pass.
I recently had a meeting with the Board of my firm To contribute on a subject I’ve worked on and spoke absolute mindless bullshit for the first minute, due to nerves. I’m still kicking myself and cringing thinking about it. To make it worse my stomach started making loud sounds like whale music for the second half of the meeting FFS.

GoodDogBellaBoo

But in the future, most people use betablockers. They do work.

Do they? How do you know?