Humiliated myself at work

[millerjane]

Never felt wors - need a handhold

i cried at my desk - unbelievable.

I am so sorry it didn't go well today. Do whatever you need to do to put it behind you and get some sleep - if you are up to your usual standard tomorrow then today will be a distant memory. You've got this x

(Also - I would recommend beta blockers if you have access to any)

The CFO was present in addition to many extremely senior people. This was their first impression of me and will no doubt be their lasting image.

I've been there. Same sort of male dominated environment, being much younger than everyone else, counting on my usual powers of improvisation and failing, just this once.

NO ONE remembers. They were probably thinking of a million other things while I was dying a death in front of them thinking they were hanging on my every word and analysing every detail. They weren't.

You are so much harder on yourself than other people are. They know you for how you usually perform and what you're like generally, not for one blip.

Something similar happened to me last year. No crying, but my leg started shaking very obviously and would not stop. Delivery was wooden and I left some bits of the presentation out. I think I'd over-prepared - so much practice I thought it was going to be fantastic, while on the day I was one of the last speakers up and had just seen some very polished and seasoned presenters. The combination was a killer!

It was horrible, but I'd actually forgotten about it until I read this post.

This is not as big a deal as you think. Aim for "good enough" tomorrow.

I passed out by the loos and had to be sent home even though we have 2 days to meet target. I too fucked up today.

Firstly, Psychological studies have proven that when presenting to an audience, presenters who made mistakes and errors were liked MORE as people than presenters who made no mistakes. Its because you're seen as human, people relate to it, and flaws can be endearing.

This. I remember watching someone present once. She knew what she was talking about. She portrayed being so calm. But I could see her hands were shaking the entire time. I warmed to her based on that alone. I wanted to tell her that she was doing brilliantly and not to worry

I personally hate public speaking, and I think that anyone who does a presentation is a bloody hero to be honest.

The CFO was present in addition to many extremely senior people. This was their first impression of me and will no doubt be their lasting image.

Cross post - sorry, that's a shit position to have been in. But still - they'll know you didn't just walk in there off the street, if you're even there in the first place you must be a competent and professional woman. And what looks like a total disaster to you (your own worst critic) won't have looked so bad to them at all, because they didn't have the running self-deprecating internal commentary you were no doubt hearing.

Listen to some 'How to own the room' episodes on podcast by Viv Goskrop- they're amazing and I use them to psyche myself up for big presentations - you're not alone don't worry xxx

Please be kind to yourself. It's much more common than you think and as others have said the audience will either have been sympathetic or not paying attention.
A similar thing happened to me, I had a panic attack in the midst of a straight forward presentation. I completely froze for at least 5 minutes and then made no sense for the rest of the talk. I had a much bigger presentation to senior colleagues the following week and I never ever thought I'd manage it but I did. I was the most nervous I'd ever felt and it probably wasn't the best talk ever, but I did it.
Try to get a good night's sleep and an early morning ready to set yourself up and smash it. Good luck

Couldn’t read and run. Really feel for you. Can you put your finger on what happened to try to prevent it happening again? I used to do lots of high stakes pitches and winging it - since having my son it’s as much as I can do some days to make sense in a 1:1 phone call! Good luck for tomorrow

I'm with the 'blame it on a migraine' brigade. You weren't crying. Your eyes were watering from the bright lights and aura! Take notes in tomorrow. It doesn't matter if you mostly read from them. It probably wasn't as bad as you thought. I get so nervous when I do presentations that my mouth is faster than my brain. I hear myself speaking as though I'm someone else and I have no idea what I'm actually saying. Meanwhile my brain is panicking as it's unable to keep up with my mouth. Usually it turns out that my mouth says some fairly well rehearsed things. Or if I've spoken utter bollocks, no one has yet told me that to my face at least.

Once again thanks. I am very hard on myself (as we all are).

I just wish I could leave my body - have sspent the last 6 hours feeling physically sick and trembling. It is extremely intense.

I followed some extremely charismatic colleagues (decades of experience on me) which made me unravel as I felt like the village idiot in comparison. Massive crisis of confidence in front of everyone.

Op honestly I worked with someone who threw up in the middle of a work event after one to many and she was still there and hugely respected by management ten years on. What happened today is nowhere near as bad as that.

You can do it

YABU unreasonable to even think that messing up a work presentation was down to your gender.

Beyond that, you’ll just have to take a deep breath and do a better job tomorrow. We all have bad days in the workplace. Try not to let it knock your confidence. As others have said, it probably seems worse than it is.

Was it nerves?
If you get nervous tomorrow in the run up....

Breathe in for 1..2...3...4
Breathe out for 1....2....3....4...5....6
Im shit with presentations and this is the only thing I have found so far that helps.

You poor thing. I think everyone who has had to give a presentation has done this at some point. I’m a super glib overconfident smartarse, with excellent industry knowledge, and I’ve done it a few times. It’s an awful feeling.

Definitely have a tactical migraine...

I suffer a lot from migraines, and this is the exact sort of symptom I get, freezing (cos my brain is jammed) talking gibberish, eyes watering, so I have successfully blamed pisspoor performance on a pre—migraine. Including a bloody job interview where is just froze. Then burbled.

I genuinely was getting a stress migraine, and I did s in the Interview. They were surprisingly ok about it.

No words of wisdom, just

I think it’s actually a good thing you’ve got to do it again tomorrow, by the sound of it you don’t think it could have gone any worse, so the only way is up. Plus, if you didn’t have to do it again tomorrow public speaking/presenting could turn into a huge phobia. Get back on the horse and all that. Best of luck for tomorrow, you’ll be amazing (positive vibes!)

Oh and count it in and out .......

I used to feel like that. I couldn't even wish my grandma happy 80th birthday in front of a room full of family. It ruined the party for me just thinking about it.
Now I try to remember that I am the expert on whatever it is I'm presenting... Even if its just the expert of a part of it. The people in the room aren't there to trip you up. They're interested in what you have to say. They're ordinary people, who have their own lives, interests, problems.

BTW congratulations on making it into that room. You are leading the way for other women. Great job just being there

*explain this

Everyone knows how shit it is to present. It's a hard skill and people are impressed at people who get up and do it. I did a presentation at a new company once and dabbled horrendously, forgot half of what I meant to say, trailed off at the end of sentences realising I'd run out of words and was generally awful. My colleagues afterwards told me they thought I'd done brilliantly and they were impressed I could speak in public like that. People don't see your mistakes like you do.

i decided not to use any notes (not prepared for this in hindsight) as none of colleagues did. Big mistake - thought I could rely on myself as usual.

Look, this happens everyone at some stage. Being the only woman and 20 years younger than anyone else IS intimidating. Well done for getting where you have. You have another chance tomorrow and remember it won't have been as bad to anyone else as it is to you - you are your worst critic.

My advice to you is to spend tonight practicing practicing practicing. I worked for a CEO who was the best speaker/presenter I have ever met - he definitely considered getting into politics. People thought he was naturally good at it - he did have a talent but they didn't see what I did - he practiced SO much. He was always in huge command of his material going in.

Another tip is if you are following someone really good say something like "I"m sure I have everyone's sympathy having to follow XY's wonderful presentation" and smile. if you feel yourself choking on the material just stop - you can pause for a second and say "just want to get my bearings again - this research is so exciting it is easy to miss things" - get a few phrases you can trot out.

President George Bush (the first one) actually vomited at the table at a state dinner in Japan. At least you didn't do that :)