Humiliated myself at work

[millerjane]

Never felt wors - need a handhold

Well done OP for getting back in there to-day. Take deep breaths and remember you know this stuff. Also, most people don't even remember 10% of what they hear and see in a powerpoint presentation.

Focus on the most important piece of information as you are presenting - think of telling your most trusted colleague what you want them to know about this research project and pretend you are explaining it to them.

Good luck.

Good luck for today OP you can do it!

I have confidence in you.

Will be thinking of you, best of luck and let us know how you did.

Just come across this thread OP, but wishing you luck.

How did it go? I hope you feel better today! Go and treat yourself to a nice lunch.

Just got out of the meeting. Had far fewer technical issues and was using tech i was familiar with/expecting (unlike yesterday).

I did okay. And that's about it. At least I'm not crying and questioning my entire career plans.

I didn't experience shakiness or voice cracking so I am thankful to my body for that at least. Still feel incredibly low. I did speak to a samritan yesterday who felt as if I need some time off of owrk which has given me something to think about.

A manager who witnessed the shitshow yesterday approached me and tried to point out some positives, a very kind and genrous thing to do.

Still have waves of cringe which I am really taking to heart - oh well.

I don't want to make excuses but I am pretty sure I have UTI - had a very specific pain in my urethera which were bothering me all night (if that makes sese, I have pangs of pain which feel llike they are travelling up a thin tube if that makes sense). Its a bit of BS as I definitely was not experiencing htis during the pres but I'm going to blame the whole thing on that anyway.

I just want to be this strong-ass bitch but my veneer of confidence os very thin and very fake.

ps you lot are lovely.

I think i tried tapping a non touch screen tv - ha!

Presentation is just a skill that can be learned like any other. Write it off and prepare prepare prepare. You should try to find some extra training where you can hone the skills in a safe place. Not much help for this week but your confidence will grow with the right help. For this next time just read your script and keep it short. Never think you can wing it, nerves will scupper you, good luck

Please excuse the typos, this screen is bloody small.

Genuine question, do you think someone can fake a first class degree from LSE? I whole heartedly think I did. The rational side of me thinks it's probably not possible.

OP, have a look at imposter syndrome.
It's far more common than you think.

I think you can gain strength in knowing that many, many of your peers and colleagues will have felt exactly the same at some point.

You sound like you did really well today, considering how upset and shaken you were about yesterday. That's an amazing achievement, give yourself the credit for it!
The fact that you even got up and did it at all when you were so scared is brilliant.

I’ve done the same thing OP. I have beta blockers for those scenarios now as I couldn’t risk it happening again.

My colleague had a panic attack and ran off the stage. He’s now more senior than me. Don’t sweat it, it happens.

I often get very panicky when presenting but I make sure I know what I’m going to say off by heart - that way I can usually get it out adequately!

Weirdwonders - do they really work? what the aderse effects?

It sounds like today was fine.
If it makes you feel any better a lot of people have the odd fail day at work, it doesn't impact their careers.
DH is a very well thought of public speaker in his field, he does large conferences and is an invited speaker to stuff.
It looks like he speaks off the cuff, he doesn't really.
He works out the structure of what he wants to say. He practices with timings until the talk basically hangs together. He has key structural points throughout the presentation as springboards that will keep him on track if he loses his way. He used to always have these written down.
The end result looks like he just stood up and spoke but in reality these big talks have quite a lot of preparation behind the scenes.
(No, of course you can't fake your way through a degree! Does your organization have employee support? Maybe some therapeutic support would be useful for these thoughts)

Well done for going through it again.

We're our own worst critics and may not have been as bad as you think. Most people at first presentation will have empathy as public speaking is a common fear/phobia and won't be giving it a second thought.

Well done. Now yesterday looks like a blip as you’ve done ok today.

OP I can guarantee a fair number of the audience will have been sitting there thinking "poor her, what a nightmare" and remembering when it's happened to them.

Everyone's fucked up at work at some point. Try not to worry about it and be thankful that your specific fuck up didn't start a war or bring down a bank or something.

Then take the positive from it - you will now absolutely never allow that to happen again. You'll be much stronger for the experience and it will make you a better presenter. In 20 years time when you're one of the 'older charismatic' presenters, there will be somebody junior shaking at the thought of doing it and you'll be able to help them too.

i really think i may have pushed myself too far. i enjoy what i do/the challenge but I've never felt so vulnerable. at university i was a hard arse and seen as very competent.

people have shown concern but this makes me feel terrible knowing they are talking about me/questioning my suitability

It’s normal. It hits most successful people at some point. Often if you have been academically successful, you have got used to always feeling competent and in control and so it knocks you harder when you hit a situation where you aren’t.

One of the most important skills you can learn in high pressure business (I have worked in the City for a long time) is resilience. The ability to cope when things go wrong, to cope when you cock up, to keep going when there is a voice in your brain saying “run away”.

The fact that you recovered enough to present today will have given you more skills than just breezing through (even if it doesn’t feel like it).

The tactical migraine can head off the concern.

people have shown concern

This shows they are human and have compassion. I can understand why you think they might be talking about you or questioning your suitability, but unless this is a common occurrence (and I think it's not from what you say) then I think your worries will be unfounded.

It is more likely that it is so unlike you that they might be concerned.

Mostly though, I bet they are thinking they're glad it wasn't them or remembering a time when it was them.

You're obviously feeling bad about it, so my advice would be to allow yourself to wallow and dissect it all for a day or so, then next week brush yourself down, give yourself a kick up the arse and carry on.