Humiliated myself at work

[millerjane]

Never felt wors - need a handhold

i was speaking absolutely gibberish. After every sentence i remember thing wtf was that. The audience will be larger tomorrow :( The crying in public is so unlike me. i have best friends who have never seen me cry in 10 years!

Poor you. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Everyone cocks it up sometimes. No-one is on it all the time (although some might like to think they are). You are probably the only one who noticed all the mistakes. Have you noticed how working memory is so poor we just cannot remember most of what people have said? Go in tomorrow and act it out.

Panic attack? 💐

thats the weird thing i was prepared although i was only given 3 days notice. i ran through it this afternoon with my line manager and was on fire

Aw that’s rough. I don’t know if this will help, but you are just fine and fuck them! 😁 We all have horrible experiences and we live through them. You never know, but maybe one day you will be mentoring women and you will be able to tell your story. You will have a compassion that only comes from such a wretched experience. You’re fine! Brazen it out. 💃

Also, this really isn't the end of the world. You'll probably find that people will quietly pull you aside and tell you their own public speaking war stories. We've all got them! Trust me, very common.

Like people have said, make notes. Smile. Use confident body language. Lift your gaze. You know all this already. Don't let a little blip get to you.

I think everyone’s screwed up a presentation at some point. As you say, usually you click into the zone and it works as a performance, and from time to time, it just really doesn’t.

I once did a job interview while unwisely withdrawing too rapidly from anti-depressants, and one of the interviewers actually called me afterwards because of the level of gibberish.

Tomorrow is another day.

Cmon at millerjane..... you got this!

Look at the stats you have given us and your assessment of yourself. You wouldn’t be there doing the pitch in those circumstances if you weren’t capable. Believe in yourself and good luck!!

Imagine them all naked.

Seriously though, that does sound intimidating - however you are obviously highly qualified to be in such a position - why are you doubting yourself?

Do you remember the Ginger Rodgers quote “I did everything Fred did, only backwards in high heels”
Repeat that to yourself - you have obviously done well in such a male-dominated industry, it must have been hard to get where you are. Be proud of yourself! Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm calling Priti Patel

You what, shit happens. It's shit, but it happens.

I guess it can't go worse tomorrow right? So why not go in and smash it like you know you can? Write off today as what it was, a blip.

Then smash it Miller style.

Public speaking is stressful - this is why people put themselves through years of training to be actors, get up on stage and give a speech. And they don't usually have to write the script either.
Honestly, it takes practice.

Have you got some exercises to do to relax your posture and breathing? Practice them now;
Unglue your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
Straighten your back and drop your shoulders.
Breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth, as slowly as you can.
Pause for a second before answering a question.
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190511203459/www.thecut.com/2019/05/i-now-suspect-the-vagus-nerve-is-the-key-to-well-being.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190511203459/www.thecut.com/2019/05/i-now-suspect-the-vagus-nerve-is-the-key-to-well-being.html

thanks for trying to build me up. i am torturing myself right now.

paralysed with fear i will do the same tomorrow

You'll be fine.

Firstly, Psychological studies have proven that when presenting to an audience, presenters who made mistakes and errors were liked MORE as people than presenters who made no mistakes. Its because you're seen as human, people relate to it, and flaws can be endearing. Google it if you dont believe me but its true!

Secondly, we all have wobbly moments. It doesnt mean you'll be wobbly tomorrow at all. All it means is, you had a bit of a moment today- no big deal. Tomorrow is a fresh start and a clean slate.

Thirdly, If you were in the audience watching, what would you have felt? would you have thought, "wow- what a stupid horrid pathetic bitch that presenter is"? OR, would you have thought- "oh that poor woman, she's clearly having an emotional moment, I hope she's ok- thats the kind of thing I would do!!". I bet its the second option. What would you tell your best friend if she had this problem?

Finally, take heart. Oprah Winfrey was an evening news reporter and apparently got fired because she couldn’t sever her emotions from her stories. Eventually she was fired from the producer of Baltimore’s WJZ-TV. Now she's the richest woman on TV! People LOVE her emotions.

Tomorrow, focus on your breathing. Make sure you breathe out longer than you breathe in. Deep breath. You'll be amazing tomorrow.

usually i can make it up as i go along

Does that mean you weren't fully prepared and were relying on winging it? There are very few people who can get away with that.

If so, spend tonight polishing the presentation so that it holds everyone's attention tomorrow.

Treat it as a Dress Rehearsal.

Dress Rehearsals are held specifically for people to fuck up, go blank, forget their lines, get stage fright, costumes to fall down, lights to go pop/complete power cuts, PA systems to suddenly develop a ten million decibel buzz and squeal before going dead, flats to fall down, tantrums, tears and meltdowns galore.

It is literally what they are for - and a completely successful Dress (or Technical) Rehearsal is viewed with utter suspicion.

Nobody died or fell out of a window whilst simultaneously shitting themselves. You froze, that's all. It happens when your body slightly mistimes the adrenalin surge that makes you give your best. Stagefright before means it's come too early, freezing means it came a tiny bit too late.

Welcome the shaky feeling, remind yourself you're feeling what is going to make you awesome. Remember to breathe. You can do this. You will do this.

Which means that next time - tomorrow - you will nail it.

Sorry, more posts since I was writing that ^^

Ignore me. Well, up to a point. It still wouldn't hurt to go over it again tonight to remind yourself that you do know what you're talking about.

Really not to pry into your personal life, but is there any chance you’re pregnant? I’ve had a ‘breakdown’ like that before, found out the next day I was pregnant!

I’ve seen loads of public speakers who just read from notes, glancing up and pausing every so often. It’s fine! We have to sit through so many presentations at work that most people probably aren’t even listening.

Picture them all butt naked- you can do this.

Watch a few episodes of Marvellous Mrs Maisel (on amazon prime) and go in thinking: tits up! Breathe. You CAN do this.
Another trick I find helpful is to imagine a single person in the room, not many - someone with the ~average background or take on the material that you're presenting - and just imagine that you are speaking only to them. Maybe your line manager would be good since you said that went well the other day.
You'll nail it.

I’m a lead professional on an international, award-winning project. I’m considered an expert in my field and I can spew out crystal clear information effortlessly to anyone who will listen.

A few years ago, I went to do a pitch for a room full of senior level managers (another day at the office for me) and literally couldn’t string a sentence together. I just froze. My throat went sand dry and so my voice went croaky and I had a huge sweat patch right down my back which was obvious to all. When I was able to form words (which wasn’t often) they weren’t relevant to the pitch. I was mortified. I just let the room get in my head. The next time I had to face them I owned it (have since won their support too, which is a huge contact for us).

The moral of the story is, it happens to everyone!! Chances are, you’ll go back tomorrow and smash it!!

Try not to overthink it!