Humiliated myself at work

[millerjane]

Never felt wors - need a handhold

Tomorrow is an opportunity to find your A game- you need to wake up with some determination to present the shit out of it. Do some power poses ( check out the Ted talk about it).

I don;t think I did poorly due to being a woman. I'm just excruciating over the fact that the only woman presenting today was the only person who fucked up.

Tomorrow will be different, the MN massive will be behind you
all the way.

weirdly enough i actually asked to present

Oh I so feel for you. I had to do two presentations in our last board meeting - the first was supporting someone else and really just reading notes, but my right leg shook so uncontrollably while I was standing there I was just thinking ffs just stop it!

The second one should really have been far scarier as I only had key words but I managed that one fine (sitting down)

Go back in and smash it tomorrow. You'll be ok. Just put this down to excruciating experience.

Everyone screws up at work sometimes. Literally everyone. It's called being human. All of the people you're addressing, no matter how 'high up' they are, will have mistakes in their professional lives too.

I would jot down the few main points. In fact, I always go with the whole thing printed out, even if I then don't refer to it. It's my security blanket and I don't care if it looks 'better' if you don't have a piece of paper in your hand, I am more confident and wittier with it, so piece of paper it is. It's up to you but it might just get you back on the horse again. Good luck.

What great advice pallisers!
Making notes myself haha

When you get a chance, you NEED to read Black hole from Cecelia Ahern’s Roar. You just have to read it, it might be only 5 pages or so but so funny and so real it’s actually life changing.

OP sorry this has happened. Chances are it wasn’t as bad as you thought but no matter what, it’s done now and whilst you can’t change how you started, you can change how this story ends.

Focus on what you need to do tomorrow. Learn what you plan to say by heart. Like a script but be able to say it so it doesn’t sound rehearsed. Make sure your notes are clear and on hand ready to consult if needed. It’s absolutely fine to use notes.

As shaken up as you are currently, be firm on yourself that you’re going to get through this and promise yourself an almighty treat tomorrow evening. But for tonight it’s still about preparation not post mortem. And if you don’t think you can focus tonight, do a quick work out at home just some exercises to get rid of the adrenaline (Star jumps!) and/or have a cup of herbal tea and maybe a bath and get some sleep and then have a run through in the morning.

And don’t think about this as you letting down womankind. If you’re part of an organisation where there’s only one woman presenting out of 50 and might have been none if you hadn’t offered, there’s something wrong with the organisation.

Tomorrow is a new day. All the best with it!

Op, get an app called Oak, it has a breathing exercise on it that is the only thing that has ever managed to calm me when I’m falling apart. It only takes 2 mins.

I had to do a presentation in a theatre full of powerful men. 15 minutes I was told. I made crib cards in order to keep me from getting muddled up and also looked above their heads rather than at them. My voice I know was on the high pitched side at times.

Get an emergency appointment at Drs tomorrow morning and get some beta blockers prescribed.

They are amazing, I passed my driving test because of them. Otherwise I would have been shitting bricks.

Another vote for power poses before and when giving the presentation, stand or sit with your legs hip width apart, arms not crossed (handson your hips is good like superman), chin up. Talk slowly and take deep calm breaths. The only way is up!

I’ve been there, as have many men of varying ages. Anything could have started that reaction and it just spiralled. You know you can do this. If you get back up there after that, people will have nothing but respect for you so you’re already winning just by standing there. I’ve “failed” at stuff enough times but I drag my arse up there and do it again. The world won’t stop turning because of this and soon people won’t remember it, it certainly won’t be mentioned in history books. But they will remember the performance you can deliver. I also work in a “male” environment but I know what I’m talking about, same as you, just go and do your thing. These CEO/VIP types are flesh and blood like you, they’re not Gods, and they appreciate your input. Forget about the people there, just present as you would to friends. Good luck ( you don’t need it)

My mind just went completely blank. I had run through the presentation with my manager in the morning and I was happy with how much info I could pull out of nowhere and was able to make really good points in the moment which I added to my presentation.

Please dont torture yourself. It didnt go well today, but you have learned from it and can get it right tomorrow. Make some good notes or bullet points to keep you on track. Keep a glass of water to hand and take a sip between sections or when you get that dry mouth feeling or need to answer a question.
You know you can do it. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

And don't beat yourself up about making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and frankly fucking up a presentation is pretty insignificant on the fuck up list.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was looking forward to an early night as the last few weeks have been extremely stressful (3 huge deadlines). But now I don't feel like I deserve it as I literally had the biggest failure of my life.

Pick a point slightly above their heads to look at. Look up grounding techniques, as there are loads to help you keep calm. You are able to do this! At least even if you weren't pleased with today, you still did it and that takes strength.

I think your best bet is not to dwell on it and try to take some learning points going forward for next time.

You should be giving yourself a pat on back for volunteering and getting up there. There aren’t many that would volunteer.

Try to keep it simple and not have too much material as I find that can impact on the delivery as I start to get confused.

I went on a presentation course before and I was told it takes years of practice. Each time you give a presentation focus on an area that you want to improve on and also ask someone you can trust for constructive feedback afterwards.

I think taking notes with you as a security blanket is a really good idea. Chances are you won't need them as you clearly know your stuff. On the off chance that your mind goes blank/ you freeze, take a minute to look at your notes and get back on track. The pause will feel like forever for you but an audience won't notice and it's worth re-centering.
A few stock phrases to fall back on can also give you an extra minute to calm yourself.
You know you can do this.

Any tips on how to stop shaking? Can't believe my body hasn't calmed down yet. The fact that I keep reliving it probably isn't helping but I am doing my best.

A couple people close to me have inquired how today went and I ended up lying (don't want to admit what happened tbh). Keeping it all to myself was really agonising, so I really appreciate geting this off my chest and being heard.

and I was happy with how much info I could pull out of nowhere and was able to make really good points in the moment which I added to my presentation.

The thing is, OP, as you've learned (and god knows I saw MANY senior guys do the same and worse) you really can't rely on pulling stuff out of nowhere and making points in the moment. You must have a core presentation that you mostly know by heart with some prompting from notes. Then in the moment you can add stuff etc. but you need to have your core presentation nailed. The people who presented without notes weren't winging it without notes - they didn't need notes because they knew exactly what they were going to say on each slide.

Dh once had a guy come in for an interview which was basically a presentation of his research (scientific) and his slide deck/their technology failed. So he gave the presentation without slides but describing what each slide would show as well. He was dead impressed.

You really didn't fuck up as much as you think. What you did is learn a really useful lesson about presentations - you have to have it down pat- and then deviate. I used to practice in the shower when I did them.

And in talking to your manager about this what I would emphasise is not that you messed up the presentation but that you were sorry the presentation didn't give the right impression of the incredibly interesting and good data in your research report. Remember the presentation is just the front stuff - the quality of the report you did is what really matters. If the company had someone who could present fantastically but produced shit research, then they'd really be in trouble.

You deserve it all the more. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like you’ve been under a huge amount of pressure.

What are the consequences of you not delivering the presentation in the way you planned?

Will it have a direct impact on something or are you concerned about the impression you’ve made?

Are you presenting to the same people tomorrow or different crowd?