To ask how you'd deal with a sweary infant?

[MargotsBumpyNight]

I'm from the unfortunate Malcolm Tucker school of Scottishness.
Husband is no better. I see him reaching for acceptable words for the children, brow furrowing in concentration, a split second before he calls them 'buggers'.

We know we are neither big nor clever.

Our reward for our verbal indiscretion is our 3 year old has recently taken to exclaiming 'BLOODY HELL' in the last few weeks.

Now I'm not particularly offended by swear words, but I know others are and this would not be appropriate, for example, while struggling with the play dough sausages in nursery.

I've told DS that those are grown up words and should only be used at home. He seems to be accepting this. Obviously if he was using swear words in a different way, calling people names, I would handle this differently and it definitely wouldn't be Ron Weasley cute.

I suppose I'm wondering what the general MN consensus is on swearing and appropriate language?

He's 3. He doesn't need to be swearing 'only at home'.

Every time he swears, tell him off.

You and your DH also need to stop swearing.

I'm probably not the right person to offer an opinion since our then 2.5yo dd exclaimed "fucking hell!" at discovering the baby change door wasn't there - in full earshot of another disapproving adult. We don't sweat much at all around her, and certainly don't use the worst ones, but she is remarkably ahem, 'gifted' with language.

I think I simply said it was a naughty word and I didn't want to hear her say that again. And then turned away stifling laughter, but absolutely mortified.

Children pick up all sorts from everywhere and at some point most them will repeat something inappropriate.

I'd ignore him, the more attention you give it then the more power it has, and then they to watch your language in front of him if you don't want him picking it up.

Oh dear.

I feel your pain, and share your shame!

Don't do what my Mum did, washing out my mouth with soap. It didn't stop me swearing like a trooper, and she was told to stop by the doctor when she took me to him to find out what the white rash on my tongue was. . .

I dunno. I went for the hypocritical school of sweary parenting, saying that there were some words that grown-ups could use, but kids couldn't, and that if they said those words at school they would get into trouble, and I'd be leaving them in it, and Gods help them if their grandmother ever heard them say those words, and I'd not be helping them there, neither! And if I heard them swearing at people, there'd be dire consequences.

I generally calmly said not to use those words, rather than giving a good reaction and changed the subject. And tried to tone down my swearing and their fathers, which is even worse than mine. Without significant success.

As they are now teens, I have to say that at home, the swearing has got a little too free, and I do pull them up on it to a point. It'll be interesting if they drop a swear bomb in front of their grandmother when we go home later this year. I almost wish they would. . .

That should say "try to watch your language in front of him"

Agree with a PP, I’d just ignore it. If you give it attention, he’ll realise it gets a reaction and keep doing it. You really need to stop swearing in front of your children.

Tell them off and that its not acceptable, then ignore. They thrive on the attention of it otherwise!

(My last practice in this was when a lovely man shouted ‘shut up you old slag’ at a woman in the park when we were visiting friends. Ds copied the exact phrase a few days later for a few weeks 🙈)

Stop swearing in front of him - end of. You’re right, it isn’t big or clever and will cause the kid social problems as he gets older. Swearing at nursery? Swearing in school? Teaching other kids swear words? That’s what you really want? You think ANYONE is going to want their child hanging out with THAT kid? Their children picking up bad language?
When he’s old enough you can ban swearing and bring in consequences if he does but he’s too young now to understand.
Tell your DH to grow up and parent. Find alternatives, fudge or whatever works for you.

I love a good swear but think little kids using strong language is vile. Sorry OP.

i taught DD a word that wasnt even a real swear word but she thought it was , that stopped her! She was 4

Kids will copy what they hear. So agree with your husband on a satisfying but innocent exclamation that you can both use loudly and emphatically instead of bugger.

Something like Blegger or Big egg.

I had an argument with a friend about this. She said children couldn’t be expected not to swear if they heard adults swearing. I said they could - as I did hear my parents swear and learned that I wasn’t allowed to.

DD proved my point by learning not to say certain words very quickly.

DS proved hers by thinking it was funny to say words we said he shouldn’t.

However, he now doesn’t say those words and I apologise to them when I accidentally swear around them. I can’t say my language has been moderated that much, though!

He’ll stop. My son went through a short phase of shouting “Fuck, shit, bloody hell” all at once. I told him every time that children shouldn’t say those words, now he will tell me off if I swear in front of him by accident.

He won’t stop if he’s told he can swear at home and he hears you swearing.
Little kids swearing is vile, and I’m telling you now it will effect whether or not he gets play dates and things like that if he gets a rep for being a ‘sweary’ kid.

My 1 year old swears and I can't say it bothers me, but I know I'll have to change my way of thinking soon. I find it very hard not to swear myself.

😂😂😂

Sorry, I find it hilarious! 'Bloody hell' isn't that bad. It'll just be a phase, just ignore it (and try to disguise your laughter ) and it'll get forgotten about.

I used to tell my two if they swore that it was a mummy word and they couldn't use it till they were mummy's. It worked for me and they never swore again. I however still swear all the time and I know it's not big or clever and I can use plenty of other words instead of swear words but to be honest sometimes a swear word is the best word. Hope you find something that works for you.

Forgot to say I attended that school aswell :)

Personally I think that's quite funny. Not like he called his teacher a fucker, is it? Don't use any of the really bad words in front of him if you can, and ignore him if it becomes a habit.

Op I'm also Scottish and sweary but I don't do it in front of my DD. You absolutely CAN help it. Toddlers swearing is horrible

My 2.5 year old shouted ‘arse biscuits’ the other day. No bloody idea where that came from.

I had to stop swearing at home after DS copied me - apparently now I swear ALOT at work 😂 no one minds there thank fuck

My DD went through a stage of swearing, I told her no and then ignored her. She stopped after a bit

They are linguistically astute and unlikely to swear in places where their peers don’t. Certainly mine didn’t.