To ask how you'd deal with a sweary infant?

[MargotsBumpyNight]

I'm from the unfortunate Malcolm Tucker school of Scottishness.
Husband is no better. I see him reaching for acceptable words for the children, brow furrowing in concentration, a split second before he calls them 'buggers'.

We know we are neither big nor clever.

Our reward for our verbal indiscretion is our 3 year old has recently taken to exclaiming 'BLOODY HELL' in the last few weeks.

Now I'm not particularly offended by swear words, but I know others are and this would not be appropriate, for example, while struggling with the play dough sausages in nursery.

I've told DS that those are grown up words and should only be used at home. He seems to be accepting this. Obviously if he was using swear words in a different way, calling people names, I would handle this differently and it definitely wouldn't be Ron Weasley cute.

I suppose I'm wondering what the general MN consensus is on swearing and appropriate language?

Same as @lakielady for my kids. Swearing isn’t banned but they know that they shouldn’t use those words until their grown up and definitely not at school or with nanny, and critically, not to be mean towards someone.

They don’t actually swear at all. Even when they think I can’t hear them . Husband and I do swear around them. It’s words. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expanding vocabularies and teaching appropriate usage.

@Booksandwine80

Don’t try and make yourself look superior by belittling someone else. Take that shit somewhere else

Nope. This is AIBU. I'm not 'belittling' anyone. I'm bewildered. I don't see the difficulty in controlling swearing around children. You don't queue up in the supermarket and swear in front of the cashier, or in plenty of other situations. Most workplaces would have a problem.

And they're not just words because no- one would care about this if they were.

@Nanny0gg

“Bewildered”

You need to get out more....are you ok hun??

‘don't see the difficulty in controlling swearing around children. You don't queue up in the supermarket and swear in front of the cashier, or in plenty of other situations. Most workplaces would have a problem.’

Absolutely agreed. A ‘fuck off’ to a colleague in my workplace could get you dismissed...

My parents managed to swerve swearing in the house by the following well known substitutions

Shhhhh...ugar
Blllll....ooming
Fffff...udge

Not much you can do if they pick it up outside the house just ignore or say 'its not nice/kind to say that word.'

Lots of saintly people taking life very seriously on this thread! It's just a phase, ignore it and try to avoid swearing yourself 😊 no point "telling off" a toddler who can't understand or moderate their behaviour. There's no real reason kids shouldn't swear, beyond some adults finding it offensive; it's just language after all.

You and your DH also need to stop swearing.

Is the correct answer. You'll never stop your children swearing if you do it in front of them. There needs to be zero tolerance to EVERYONE in your household.

It's easy to slip up having a conversation with your spouse in your own home when your toddler is seemingly minding their own business. Thankfully we've just had an "oh my god" but I ignored it and it hasn't happened again. We do try to be diligent around him.

I do try to limit swearing around the DC as does DP but occasionally it will slip out (or more often one of them will eavesdrop on me telling DP last year about the idiot fucking care home owner who we worked for ) , however we don't actively choose to swear around them and don't particularly find it amusing (unless it's at the crap parking the bloke does down the road) and explain if we are caught that it is an adult word and not ok for them to use (and then tell them off for eavesdropping on us).

I think the pearl clutchers are silly , of course try not to swear but it happens (cue faux wide eyed poster claiming how could it ever accidentally happen to tarquin and primrose over the pesto - actually I'm being unfair there my DC love pesto) and the reality is they will hear it out and about . Unless of course you plan to wrap then up in cotton wool until they meet Dave from the feathers at 18 (despite your insistence that pubs are a festering pool of pointless ness which I personally think they are) and nearly pass out when he tells "fuck off mate" at kev because he drank the last of his pint. Its not really going to help if they keep over in a swoon at that point is it?

Like lots of boundaries our role in my opinion is to teach them real life. In real life we try not to swear and in some circumstances its a huge no but on occasion we do when frustrated or by accident and we understand when it's ok and when it's really not.

Frankly I'd be far more concerned if my DC were so sheltered that at 25 when some git ran into the back of them they clutched their Pearl's and yelled " oh crackers oh my pudding whatever will I do?"....at that point I would know the therapy bill I owed them was going to be seriously high.

Every time I see this title, especially the word 'infant', which for me implies a very young baby rather than a three-year-old, I imagine a newborn in a floral babygro looking in the mirror and doing the Taxi Driver mirror monologue: 'You talkin' to me? Who the fuck you think you're talking to?'

I don't see the difficulty in controlling swearing around children

I agree Nanny0gg. I was at a funeral yesterday. No-one swore. There were plenty of people there who I know swear a lot in daily life, but they are responsible adults and fully understand when and where swearing is inappropriate.

Booksandwine80 are you completely lacking in social awareness, and always this rude to people?

@Ginfordinner

No, I just don’t believe in pretending to be whiter than white. I’m very socially aware thank you very much indeed, you have a nice evening now