Is it my fault I scratched my car?

[HadToWreckMyCar]

So I’m in a situation where I scratched my car whilst driving, but wasn’t really given another choice (there was one other choice but it would’ve been a nightmare). I’m wondering who you would hold at fault for this?

I have a diagram, I’m uploading from a phone (please excuse the scribbles my toddler grabbed the pen 😂)

I don't think everyone would have reversed either! Someone started reversing at me in a car park last year. I panicked and stalled. They went straight into my bumper. Never been so pleased that I have a dash cam before!

People usually do reverse after a few mins if it becomes apparent this is the only way they're going to continue their journey, although sometimes you need to explain to then. I've seen this done at least 10 times, and if a 35ft truck can do it I'm sure you could make the three feet you probably needed (even if you had to go back and forth a few times to make the turn).

Did the 20 other drivers also choose to drive through an impossible gap and scratch all of their cars? I feel for you, it sounds like it was incredibly stressful and that you didn't have the option of reversing, however I do think that you could have stopped and waited, even though it may have felt awkward. If that pole had been a person, or say something with less ability to move, like there was a dog tied to the pole, you surely wouldn't have chosen to run them over and would have waited until your route was clear. I'm not saying that you absolutely should have waited, but do think that, yes, it was your fault that you scratched your car.

Each of the cars behind you could have reversed a little bit to let you reverse out. You should have gone and spoken to them, explained what had happened. Or, as presumably they weren’t going to be getting in to the car park, they could have driven on to where they would go.

This was your fault and easily avoidable.

Easily avoidable ?! Sounds like a nightmare. Plus the OP has explained repeatedly the cars behind couldn’t have driven on as the road was too narrow.

I can honestly accept the damage to my car was my fault and I can accept that I could’ve caused more of a fuss and eventually escaped scratch free (and of course I would absolutely not have scraped into another car or person or dog at the time it just felt like the lesser of two evils).

But I don’t think the obstruction was caused by me really Certainly not easily avoidable, I’m pretty sure that part of the car park isn’t a bay to prevent this happening

What’s been really nice on this thread is reading how many people would have caused the fuss. Because if there’s ever a next time at least I can remind myself “other people would do this”

It's very easy to say what you would do in that situation OP, but without being there who knows! However, if the blue car had been a little further back, you wouldn't have been able to get through at all and would have had to do something else. Also, bear in mind that only a handful of people right behind you can detect what's causing the queue, anyone further back won't really know.

I probably would have got out and asked a few people to reverse a little bit each so I could get out but that isn't an easy option by any means.

OP I reckon loads of people would have done what you did, especially with no time to think it through . I really don’t believe that IRL people would all have stopped and expected the cars behind to move back in such a situation. It’s simply not feasible. What people say on MN is often completely different to what the general population does in real life.

It sounds to me like you succumbed to perceived pressure from other motorists and so knowingly damaged your own car on a post. It’s your fault.

If you pulled in and couldn’t proceed, then you stop and wait for the obstruction to move. That is, of course, if you were being truthful when you said you couldn’t see the obstruction when you pulled in. If you could, you were a wally to pull in and then panic and drive through a post.

Did everyone else scratched their cars then? That must be a lots of angry parents looking for the owner of the blocking car

Did everyone else scratched their cars then? That must be a lots of angry parents looking for the owner of the blocking car

Presumably only the people turning into that car park - was under the impression that although it was school run time the car park isn't necessarily anything to do with anyone on the school run.

Don't worry about other people. I was out on my horse once riding around a sharp bend. I put my hand up for the car behind to stop, they did and the person behind them starting shrieking out the window and honking their horn
What they didn't realise is I could see over the hedge (v narrow road) and I had said stop because if they had carried on around the bend they would have gone straight into a load of loose sheep! Car behind looked like a complete idiot when they realised and the other driver was v thankful

Easily avoidable hmm?!

Yes. Not driving through a gap that is too small for your car is easily avoidable.

OP I reckon loads of people would have done what you did, especially with no time to think it through

Really? On Mumsnet maybe where worryingly, so many people admit to being lousy drivers or panicking as several on this thread have done. But no, I don’t believe for one minute that ‘loads of people’ would deliberately crash into another vehicle when they know full well that there really is another course of action, ie. to not crash into another vehicle.

OP scraped into a post, not crashed into another vehicle. The other course of action involved sitting there for God knows how long, possibly creating road rage further back and a real crash happening. Or reversing which would have been a nightmare and again, probably would have led to a crash somewhere down the line. OP sacrificed her own car to keep everyone moving and reduce the risk of other crashes.

The blue car person is a duck but the fault is entirely yours, you could've stopped at any time.

If other people had decided to behave irresponsibly enough to crash their cars over a stationary vehicle stuck in the road, that's got nothing to do with OP. If they're that close to breaking point, they shouldn't be driving at all.

Oh bless you op, you're taking the criticism very graciously. It's easy to be in a situation where you panic and don't make a logical choice, you did what you thought was best at the time and hopefully you can take a little confidence away from this thread.

It's easy to be in a situation where you panic and don't make a logical choice

There is no place for panic behind the wheel of a vehicle. I find driving threads on MN hugely worrying as so many drivers admit to panicking in certain situations and so many others going ‘there, there, we’ve all done it’. Well no, we haven’t all done it. IMO, if you regularly find yourself panicking you aren’t safe enough to be in possession of a driving licence.

I really cannot believe that so many people are actually claiming they would just sit there and refuse to move. Obviously you wouldn’t hit a child or another car but a post, you would probably have to suck that up. The police wouldn’t come for something like this. Not until the physical violence started. Which it would where I live (naice area but people would not tolerate a stopped car) Traffic wardens do nothing. So the traffic would build up and up. It would be complete carnage. For hours as school run would blend into rush hour. And no, people do not leave enough room to reverse so everyone can manoeuvre out. Not in the sorts of closely packed streets OP is describing.

You poor thing. I would have made the same choice when I was a less experienced driver. The ballsy people are right though. Stick your reversing lights on and it'll get resolved, possibly slowly. I had a similar situation once and felt stuck, a kind person got in my car and got it out the awkward spot for me

@DisorganisedOrganiser Even OP isn't saying she feels she did the right thing, and is taking comfort from those of us who would have.

Bless you, it’s terrible when you find yourself in situations like that and you panic. I’ve been in similar situations in car parks and I’ve got out and asked the person behind me to help. Usually people are willing to help if you ask, even if it’s just offering moral support or guiding you through the gap or whatever. Don’t beat yourself up about it, people do daft things all the time and no one except your bank balance is hurt so all good

You big wet lettuce. Get some assertiveness training ASAP.