To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

I honestly don't know why people think this is such a big problem taking 2 children out of school 15 mins early, once a week for what the next 6 weeks, is not a big deal. My children's school would have absolutely no problem with it at all.

If he's year 5, and this is just till Easter, I see no reason why he can't just wait right outside the school gate for you. Make sure he has a good coat so he's ok in the rain. Even on a busy road standing right by the gate will be safe. This is by far the easiest option.

Oh, and the SBM possibly didn’t disbelieve you, but may have been frustrated that someone in the office told you you could park in the staff car park when it isn’t for parents. I know that feeling

How far away are the schools from home? Did you choose DC1's school or was it allocated to you?

Whilst withdrawing your permission (do it nicely/politely and to the teacher and head teacher) say that the only alternative you can see working is for you to temporarily be able to park in the staff car park for the Monday pick up only whilst swimming lessons are on.

But swimming child isn't at the school with the car park. The car park school is the other school.

Oh yes . Too many children and parking spaces for me to follow.

Maybe still worth withdrawing child from swimming as a solution?

Or maybe email both head teachers (pretty guaranteed they know each other through rural school/heads network. Suggest some workable solutions (leave 15 mins early/park in staff car park/TA brings younger DC to pavement) and ask them if there is anything they can see/do to help you out.

As you say - it is not forever - it is just while swimming lessons are on. If the least disruptive solution is the staff car park, then having both heads in the conversation will surely help them act reasonably?

OP a few people have asked why you can't just pick DS up from the swimming pool and then pick the others up at the usual time.

Have I missed an answer to that?

Collect DC1 late. if teachers can't wait with him then he can't go.

@2020newme the pool is in the opposite direction

I'm a HT in a small rural school. I'd be a bit reluctant to sort out a problem at my end due to another school's change of timetable. I'd be expecting you to talk to them about it.

Yes but I'm sure parking in the teacher's car park would solve the problems of many other parents too. OP's situation isn't unique and this isn't the only way she could resolve it. Why should she get special consideration that other parents aren't offered?

I wouldn't think it's a very common situation tbh. It isn't of ops making and if any other parents have circumstances that require them to park in the car park then they should approach school. Why is the child minder allowed to park there?

You say it isn't the only way she can resolve it but what other way is there? She's already said that after school club is full, so even if she could afford it she couldn't get them in anyway. What other option is there? Either she picks the children up early or they let her park in the car park or I guess she tells dc1 school that he can't go swimming but I'm.not sure if that's allowed.

It seems like many posters would rather op and her husband engage in a range of convoluted arrangements rather than the school making a small adjustment of allowing her to use the car park.

Our head would wonder why on earth she was being bothered with parking questions and would think it's the sort of thing the office should deal with. You'd be amazed at the powers us office ladies have these days, we're allowed to make all sorts of decisions, including who we let in through the staff car park barrier. We're even allowed to handle scissors and other sharp objects.

As for the collecting early issue, that would be a question for the head, but we generally have two or three children sitting with us in the office because a parent is late. It's really not a big deal as long as they're well behaved. I suspect the school would rather keep him in the office for half an hour than let him go early every week.

Local childminder has permission to park there daily by the look of things.

Exactly why they aren’t letting you do it. Because when the next parent sees that now two people are doing it, why can’t they? And so it goes on.

Not sure why it’s such a problem for your husband to take longer out of work and see to them. It’s only 7 days over seven weeks. 20 minutes extra time. That’s around 2 and a half hours away from his desk. Hardly sackable, sure he could make up the time.

Well, if they can make allowance for 1 then they should consider making an allowance for another parent with a good reason.

As for surely the husband can take time off - maybe he can't. Not all employees are infinitely flexible are they? I get one 15 minute break at work and I can't take any extra time, at all. It's not a case of "surely you can take more time and make it up".

people need to be reasonable here. I have a 2 stage pickup too, and there's limited space outside the school. By common agreement, the ones that park in the school rather than up the road (and techniically, shouldn't be parking in the school at all) are those with younger ones still, who are likely napping at pickup time.

We're all parents, we're all reasonable, so it works. If I'm late, I end up 5 mins up the road. If I'm early, I can get a coveted spot closer, but I would never park in the school because both my kids are earlier so I don't need to.

If we can all be adults, and see that this is a reasonable solution for OP, I think the world will be a better place!

If he's year 5, and this is just till Easter, I see no reason why he can't just wait right outside the school gate for you. Make sure he has a good coat so he's ok in the rain. Even on a busy road standing right by the gate will be safe. This is by far the easiest option.

As a teacher I'd rather have him stay in the classroom with me til you got there then do this.
I also can't imagine mine, or my own DC's school having a problem with you picking up 15 mins early.

How old is your DC? in my experience the school's offices are usually open 30mins after school closes and children whose parents are running late for collection wait in the waiting room. Since your DC's school is making them late maybe they won't mind them staying there. I am guessing swimming is only for one term.

Would any parents really care or notice that the OP will park there for 6 weeks?

At our school they certainly would cheshire - Ds due to his disabilities leaves via the office a few minutes early every day and parents have questioned why he can leave via the office but their child can’t

But the circumstances aren't particularly unique. OP has the option of paying for after school club like many other parents doubtless do. It really isn't the school's problem that the OP can't or won't sort out adequate childcare.

But it is ultimately the LEA that has prevented siblings from attending the same school. I'm not saying they could have done anything else if there were no spaces available, but the fact is that it is universally acknowledged that having siblings at different schools makes life extremely difficult for parents logistically - that's why siblings are given a high priority if one child is already at the school.

Yes, other parents have issues that they need to resolve, but these don't involve the LEA. Therefore, it is the school's problem that the parent is unable to work around the LEA's decision in these circumstances.

When taking a job and considering working hours, location of working premises and travel times etc, many parents make financial choices that work for the family, which may or may not involve paying for after school clubs or childminders as part of the whole income/outgoing package. I don't know if OP works outside the home, but even if she didn't at all, the circumstances brought about by the LEA leave her with no possible alternative: she can't be in two places at the same time.

As for declaring her (and her DH) 'unwilling' to pay for childcare, that's yet another MN standard of being totally unable to understand that some people genuinely do not have any spare money to magically find. If OP is a full-time SAHM (and therefore not earning any money herself), why on earth would you expect her to be able or willing to pay for childcare when she is in a position to deal with it all on her own but for the LEA-imposed circumstances which necessitate time travel.

As a PP asked, couldn't your DH collect the younger two and take them back to his office for you to collect?

I honestly don't know why people think this is such a big problem taking 2 children out of school 15 mins early, once a week for what the next 6 weeks, is not a big deal.

No-one’s saying it’s a big deal. It’s just irritating when people come on here posting “just take him out - they can’t stop you” and “don’t ask them - tell them!” and other ridiculous advice. What’s she going to do if they say no - march into his classroom or into the assembly hall and drag him out?

The OP has already said they’re new to the school. She doesn’t want to be deliberately getting on bad terms with the staff by demanding she gets preferential treatment over other parents.

But it is ultimately the LEA that has prevented siblings from attending the same school.

No, it’s the law that you can’t put more than a certain number of children in a class that has prevented the siblings from all being placed at the same school.

I would just explain to DC1's school that you will have to be 15/20 mins late once a week for pick up due to their late finish for swimming/PE. The school won't be closed by then, teachers and office staff are there for a while and there will be other children who are late being picked up for various (some unexpected) reasons. The school must already be aware that you have children in different schools not through choice and will be able to see that a double pick up with a small window of time is always going to be tricky. Could he take a book of his own on that day so he has something to do while he waits?

Ooh I do love the "we pay taxes" argument when parents don't get whatever special arrangements they want

She’s in a tough spot! Why do posters insist on being sneery when posters ask for help?

OP book in an appointment with the head and discuss this. Schools should try and help families if they can on a individual basis.

I actually know of some one who used to take their child out 10 mins early every day because because of bus time tables and her work commitments. It really isn’t unusual for schools to have separate arrangements for different families.