To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

Is there a reason why you can't swap over who picks up which children one day a week? So you pick up the two younger ones at 3pm and your DH picks the older one at 3.15pm on swimming day. I'm guessing it may not be quite as convenient doing it that way round but it's the same journey length (just in reverse) and it's only for 6 weeks.

This seems very disruptive for the teacher to have to remember 1 kid out of 25 or 30 losing 15 minutes of class time one day a week. I think it's a selfish thing to ask.

Yeah I’ll be ‘that parent’, because it’s a fucking parking spot... for one day a week... for a few minutes... until Easter‘.

Governors... complaints... reasonable... you must be adored at the school gates 🙄👌

you'd think they'd show a bit of compassion and common sense to help out in a simple way, when it's just letting somebody with special extenuating circumstances pull into a car park for five minutes.

But it’s not just one parent and five minutes. It’s all the other parents who will then, quite reasonably, expect that if the school ignores the rule for one parent, it should do the same for all parents. So the ongoing impact will be far greater than just the OP and what she wants.

Any parent would be free to raise their case with the LEA for their consideration, and permission could be granted for all parents in the same very rare position, where they have to be in two places at the same time for two children's individual educational requirements and it is entirely out of their hands to change it.

As I said with the disabled parking analogy, who wouldn't like their own reserved guaranteed parking space marked on the road outside their homes? Anybody is free to make a request with the local council for this to be done, but unless they are blue badge holders and therefore have a proven need for it, they will be politely told to jog on.

There are a couple of children at our DS's school who have ASD and special provision has been made for their arrival and leaving times to be shifted by five minutes as they struggle greatly to cope with the rush and the noise of a huge throng of children coming and going all at once. Like most people, I'm not that fond of big crowds, so I could theoretically apply for the same, but the school would quite rightly refuse as my son doesn't have any proven need for any such special accommodation to be made.

Each case should be taken on merit. Why should helping out one parent open a flood gate for all?! Easy conversation for the head, no need to waste time and resources on LEA or Governors... just ridiculous.

One day a week, one parking space, a few mins a week... until Easter. Get a grip people.

Either ask DC1’s school for permission to have him wait in the office for 15min or remove him from the swimming lessons (I understand he can swim already, correct?)

Each case should be taken on merit. Why should helping out one parent open a flood gate for all?! Easy conversation for the head, no need to waste time and resources on LEA or Governors... just ridiculous.

So you’d be happy for a head teacher’s time to be wasted assessing each request by a parent to park in the staff car park? Do you honestly think a head teacher has got nothing better to do?

Why is everyone giving the OP such a hard time? She has three children in two different schools, not by choice, but because the LEA has decided not to allow her appeals. She doesn't want to be THAT parent, all she wants to do is to ensure that all three children are collected safely from school. I'm sure she would love to be in two places at once, but she can't.

It was all possible until her eldest child's school decided to change school pick up day one day a week. Even if she could afford after school club, she has already said that it is FULL.

As it is the eldest child's school that is causing the problem, I would be speaking (or emailing) to the headteacher of that school first and explaining the circumstances and asking what they can do to help. It may be that the head or one or more teachers stay in school for marking and lesson planning etc and may be happy for him to read a book until you can collect him (my Mum was a primary school teacher. She did all of her marking and lesson planning at school so that she could forget about it when she came home).

If you get no joy there, then I would approach the other school - perhaps the headteacher, explaining your dilemma and saying that you either need to use their carpark once a week, or collect your younger two children early once a week. Most head teachers (in my experience - primary ones anyway) are reasonable people and will see what can be done to help. But I think they would probably far rather you discussed it with them than started telling them what you intend to do. If you get flustered, maybe your Dh could do the talking on your behalf.

Good luck. I hope you sort something out

If you get flustered, maybe your Dh could do the talking on your behalf.

Wtaf?

Schools shouldn’t have “business managers” it’s the modern world gone mad. Schools are not businesses

Schools are absolutely businesses. Our business manager handles a multi-million pound annual budget. It doesn’t matter what other people think her job title should be - she’s highly skilled and fantastic at her job.

I agree they deal with thousands of pounds and have to account for every penny

Stationary books loo roll soap heating electricity lighting security machinery equipment mini buses school dinners trips pupil premium refunds exchanges charity collection school fund raising repairs for the building or floors tea coffee phone bills first aid training courses overtime supply staff book replacement books kids don’t return
Prizes certificates spare uniform sales cake sales photographers open evening staff illness school rental to outside groups cleaning - off the top of my head!!!

What do you think happens?

Can your DC1 swim already? If he can swim the 25 metres required by the National Curriculum then why not ask for him to be withdrawn from swimming?

greentulips

Not to mention project-managing all building works in the school, from reconfiguring rooms to building swimming pools (happening right now in our school) and managing the admin team and site supervisor (caretaker for the benefit of @BubblyBarbara ).

Are hospitals businesses then?
School is not a business but the school has business which needs managing.

Governors... complaints... reasonable... you must be adored at the school gates
What? For thinking that reasonable parents raise things with the correct people and if there's no resolution then they can, and should, process to formally complaining, Vs 'those parents' who seem to think they're an exemption to whatever they don't like and should be informing schools that they'll be doing what they like?

This situation has nothing to do with School B, so all this frothing from people saying "inform them you will be removing them... Tell them you need a staff parking space..." is ridiculous and unreasonable.

FamilyOfAliens
It's almost like some people haven't a clue how schools run. We apparently don't need business managers, heads have enough time to wade through parking requests from everyone who thinks their situation means they should park in the staff car park, who cares about the fact it needs to be used by staff and visitors.

It's the older school's problem. They've lengthened the day and caused the issue. If the OP is stuck then someone at that school should supervise her DC, namely a senior leader who is usually on the leadership and exempt from the directed time budget. Someone higher up signed off on lengthening the day and it's their job to help find a solution that doesn't expect a different school to solve it.

Can you just park on yellow lines right outside the school? I know it’s a pain when parents do this but one day a week to avoid this situation? X

Can you just park on yellow lines right outside the school? I know it’s a pain when parents do this but one day a week to avoid this situation? X

Oh of course, risk causing an obstruction, causing an accident or incurring a parking fine. The lines are put there for a reason, not just to make the road look pretty.

Can you just park on yellow lines right outside the school?
i know it’s a pain when parents do this but one day a week to avoid this situation?
It's not a pain. It's dangerous.

Yup risk killing a child for the sake of saving yourself 5 minutes. Brilliant

I agree with asking the older child's school if he can wait in reception or something. As pp have said they have caused the issue by changing pickup time, so they are more likely to agree to make an accommodation to help. It is also less disruption than asking to pick up the younger one early or park in the staff car park which is something that can cause problems for the school so they get quite strict about the rules on parking. If the older ds is well behaved and can be trusted to wait quietly with a book or something then I think this would be quite easy for the school to agree to.

"If you get flustered, maybe your Dh could do the talking on your behalf."

Wtaf . Did someone actually just write this . I am completely shocked. The OP has not written that she has any additional needs so where is the assumption coming from that she will need a man to speak on her behalf?!

Velocitykate please could you explain

No @LolaSmiles, I don’t expect this to have to be decided by the head. But since the Business Manager has over ridden the Secretary, then in this instance he’ll have to. And maybe tell the Business Manager to get back to managing the ‘money’ and leave the car parks alone.

Since most of Mumsnetters have kids at school, yes we know how schools work, and life, and conflicts, we all have to juggle. And since so many who work at schools have said, don’t sweat it, just email the head... I’d say it’s those who do not know how a school works, that are making a song and dance about this.

And yes, I do think you’re one of those nausey people that drives everyone mental with your procedure and pomp. I absolutely guarantee, that if OP contacted the LEA about this today, they’d ask: ‘Have you spoken with the head teacher’. If she then insisted they are ‘the correct people’ to deal with this. What do you think their first port or call will be? To contact the Headmaster. Headmaster would love OP then.... snitching the school to the LEA.... over a parking spot! Plus, you’ve wasted two people’s time!

Haven’t read the full thread so this may have been said already but LOVE the advice from everyone saying “they should all be at the same school”. Clearly OP knows that, this clearly isn’t through choice. Reminds me of that bit in Friends where Ross’s marriage to Emily is falling apart and Joey says “You want my advice? You got married too fast!” And Ross says “That’s not advice!”