To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

You've already come across as 'that parent' by parking in the staff car park, I bet the other parents were furious.

The other parents would need to get a life then. Honestly you read some complete shite on this forum!

Yes, other parents have issues that they need to resolve, but these don't involve the LEA.

Not any more than it's the LEA's fault for e.g. not having a space at a parent's first choice school right around the corner, or at the school with the great wrap around care etc etc.

The other parents would need to get a life then.

So you think if the head teacher is approached by another parent who says they need to park in the staff car park like the OP, he/she should tell them to get a life?

The school at fault really is the 1st school though who have arbitrarily decided to extend the schools at by 30 minutes. We had this when my children were at school and it caused big problems for some families who had childminders picking children up who couldn't just hang around at school waiting for the late finishers because they had to be elsewhere or who couldn't return back to school.

No, it’s the law that you can’t put more than a certain number of children in a class that has prevented the siblings from all being placed at the same school.

They're happy to override this and take the class over the PAN when the appeal is for a child with SEN, so it can't be the law. There are rules around staff to pupil ratio, but not how many children can be admitted to a school.

Can the older DC hang out at the swimming pool rather than the school until you pick him up?

I would (nicely explaining that you've tried everything and it's just not possible) tell DC1's school that they can keep him for the extra 15 minutes or withdraw him from swimming so you can collect at the usual time as it's their change ruining everything. It's not like you haven't tried! Your school run sounds awful, very time consuming and expensive even when it does just about work.

The law only applies to.infant classes though doesn't it? They can compel.a school to go.over PAN with a junior age child which the 9 year old is.

The school will have to have the DC1 child in reception for the 15 mins it takes. You don't have to pay them. Teachers aren't paid in that way. Most will be there until 5pm so 15 mins is no problem.
This is not your fault and they have a duty of care until parent can get there. DC should not be left outside. That is against law against and all teachers know it which is why leaving early teachers, who come across a child at gates, will always insist child goes into reception.
Then parents are called. After about an hour with no reply from any contact number SS can be called.
I'm not saying this to scare you but to tell you you're not the only one with duty of care of your DC.
If school know mum is at pick up at other school and on way, all will be well.
Also:
Office is right and woman in carpark is obviously untrained. But I've nrtft.

No, it’s the law that you can’t put more than a certain number of children in a class that has prevented the siblings from all being placed at the same school.

As I said, I'm not saying that it's the LEA's fault, but as they are unable to offer what is commonly accepted as being the only practical set-up for parents of more than one young child (still of an age to need dropping off and picking up), you'd think they'd show a bit of compassion and common sense to help out in a simple way, when it's just letting somebody with special extenuating circumstances pull into a car park for five minutes.

Also, those people saying about children of a certain age walking to and from school on their own, what works if it's 5-10 minutes along residential streets is completely different from if it's 30-40+ minutes and/or having to walk along fast major roads without pavements.

Insist on seeing Headteacher if you have more issues on this. They can overule any petty rules in cases where it's needed. Like this one.

Speak to DS1 school. If they can’t look after him for another 15 minutes then he’s going to have to stop going to the swimming. By the sound of it you would be taking several younger children out of school early for his benefit and that doesn’t seem right.

this threads all have the same wrong info the school won't allow child that is not age X or in year Q to leave without an adult

legally that is rubbish all OP has to do if she wishes is write to head of DC1 school saying he has permission to leave school alone on Mondays and that is the end of the matter, social services are not remotely interested in blanket school rules they are only interested if there is a specific risk to OP's child
in this case is the risk is that he is wating outside school gates for 15 minutes once a week, the question is, is it a reasonable thing or does it have a particular risk the average 9 year old can stand outside for 15 minutes there is a pavement unless OP's child is liable to sudenly run into road in a small village risk should be minimal
I am not saying the OP should do this she may well not be con=mfortable with it but what I am saying is that the school can't legally enforce an adult collecting a child once a parent has given permission for them to go home alone unless they can prove it is too risky ( not following school policy doesn't make it a risk)
for instance if you live next door to school it could easily be not a risk for a Y2 to go home alone however if it involves walking home alone down country lane with no footpath it could be deemed unsafe for any primary school kid

a school can legally refuse to let a child go when no permission to leave has been signed but they can't without good reason refuse once permission by parent has been given

Why are people so insistent that it should be the second school making compromises when it’s the school DS1 goes to which is the one who have created issues by extending the day once a week? It should be them that the OP is working with to find a solution

She’s in a tough spot! Why do posters insist on being sneery when posters ask for help?
Laughing at other posters throwing the same old same old 'we pay taxes' arguments isnt sneering at the OP. It's laughing and eye rolling at a silly argument usually proposed like it's some mic drop winning argument when in reality it makes the parent going on about it look daft and only reduces the likelihood of anyone listening.

All parents pay taxes. Based on the "schools are paid for by taxes" argument then EVERY parent should just do what they like at drop off and park where they want because they pay taxes too. Of course most people wouldn't go down that route because they see it for the silly argument that it is.

It’s just irritating when people come on here posting “just take him out - they can’t stop you” and “don’t ask them - tell them!” and other ridiculous advice.
It's always the way on threads to do with school.
In this situation really the onus is on the OP and her husband to make arrangements and if they can't make arrangements then they need to speak to the head of the older child who is going swimming. It's the older child's school who have extended the school day.
This situation has nothing to do with the younger DC's school. They don't want parents parking in the staff car park. That's entirely reasonable.
If there's issues with pick ups caused by School A having a longer day then it's for the parents to raise with School A. School B's parking policies have nothing to do with it. Despite this people are telling the OP she should be telling/informing School B what they will be doing to sort her childcare issues and timings from School A. It's daft.

You can't be in 2 places at once so if this is the only way around not being late for your child then do it 15 mins one day a week is nothing to worry about

Does your older DC really need to do school swimming lessons? Its optional at our school and some don't go. Just pick up older DC before the class gets on the coach? Much less disruptive than taking 3 others out of normal classes early to facilitate one doing an additional activity. She can learn to swim at the weekend.

you'd think they'd show a bit of compassion and common sense to help out in a simple way, when it's just letting somebody with special extenuating circumstances pull into a car park for five minutes.

But it’s not just one parent and five minutes. It’s all the other parents who will then, quite reasonably, expect that if the school ignores the rule for one parent, it should do the same for all parents. So the ongoing impact will be far greater than just the OP and what she wants.

What a pickle @AnabelleClarabelle - I have zero ideas why some pps are being so harsh - you didn't make this decision (swimming offsite or different schools). Does your DC's class have a FB page or similar? Can you post this problem on there and see if someone offers to take your DC1 on that day? Will timetables change for summer term?

FamilyOfAliens
I think that's what people are missing.
In a single form entry school you'll have around 150 sets of parents who may all have different situations that are important to them, or a logistical problem. It's a lot more sense to say the 'staff car park is for staff' than it is to say 'the staff car park is for staff, unless you think your situation is more important, in which case put your request in or just park there anyway'.

There's a lot of focus from posters on why School B should bend their own rules around the OP's school runs when the issue should be being taken up with School A to establish what flexibility is available from the school in light of the fact that they chose to extend the school day. I'd be pressing the head of School A more before expecting another school to solve issues that have nothing to do with them.

So OP have I understood right - if you park in the staff car park you can collect your younger DC at the correct time but otherwise you would need to pick up 15 mins earlier.

I obviously don't know how the drives etc are positioned at your DC's school but it may be that taking your car on to school premises at the time the children are leaving may be a safety issue ie danger of children getting knocked down by car.

I would honestly ask both schools what leeway they can offer on times of you collecting your DC. Ask the younger DC school about collecting the children earlier and your DC1 school about collecting later. Explain to both of them exactly what your problem is. It's not right to let your older child sit outside the school gates for 15 mins at 9 years old but school might be fine for them to sit on a chair outside the office.

I understand what you say about the swimming pool being in the opposite direction and I would very much doubt that, even if it was on your way home the school would leave your child sitting in the foyer for your collection!! (at whoever suggested that)

Why would you worry about a school thinking of you as 'that' parent? What does that even mean? If you think that the schools may be able to assist by letting you collect at a different time just ask. They may say yes, if the answers no, that's the time to look at other solutions (and you've had loads suggested here)

Ooh I do love the "we pay taxes" argument when parents don't get whatever special arrangements they want 🙄

No the comment doesn’t come because parents don’t get special arrangements, it comes because schools are in fact paid for by taxes. It’s a fact.

And FYI there absolutely IS something wrong with being 'that parent'

No there isn’t, I’m happy to be that parent. I couldn’t give a rats ass what other parents at the gate think.

Reasonable parents ask questions and queries in a reasonable way. Reasonable parents can, and do, hold schools to account and formally complain where necessary.

OP is making a reasonable request. What’s not reasonable is expecting a parent to pay for after school club, a nine year old to wait out side a school on their own, or forcing a child to miss 15mins of school each day over a parking spot. But having said all that, it’s likely that school won’t see the OPs request to use a staff spot as unreasonable, and in fact it is (as so often the case), a perceived problem created by ‘those mumsnetters’.

The ones who feel that they can tell people at what age they should leave their kids alone on the side of the road. And then question the facts surrounding the logistics of the school.

I’d far rather be ‘that parent’ than one of those mumsnetters 🙄

I’m happy to be that parent. I couldn’t give a rats ass what other parents at the gate think
You're happy to be the sort of parent who is pushy and demanding and makes unreasonable requests when every other reasonable parent is more than capable of going to formal complaints and governors if required without being 'that parent'.

OP is making a reasonable request. What’s not reasonable is expecting a parent to pay for after school club, a nine year old to wait out side a school on their own, or forcing a child to miss 15mins of school each day over a parking spot.
What's reasonable is going back to School A (who have changed the end of the school day) and taking it up with them.
I agree the OP shouldn't have to pay for after school club because the school have lengthened the day. I just happen to think School A have a duty to respond to this situation and find a way forward with the OP.

It's unreasonable to be informing School B you'll be removing children early / wanting the school to bend their own policy on parents parking in the staff car park for a situation that has nothing to do with them.

Presumably with school swimming there is tons of time spent faffing in changing rooms and then walking or getting bus back from the pool to school. So couldn’t you pick him up much earlier from the pool and even if it’s in the wrong direction, you’d still be in time to pick up the little one.