To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

Is there really a primary school without a 20 or 30 mile limit outside it? Going at 60+ is insane.

I honestly think OP that there was the usual lack of communication and no one told the business manager about you. If the officer could issue you something saying "visitor pass - Monday" to stick in your window that would be even better! I would email the head.

I would submit a formal written request to the head for permission to park in the staff car park one a week due to exceptional circumstances. Outline the background, the fact you clearly juggle a lot between the parents to accommodate the two schools on all other days of the week and why it doesn’t work on this particular day. Explain that you can’t afford after school club and there are no other viable possibilities except either requesting to pick DC up 15 minutes early or causing the other one to miss a vital national curriculum swimming lesson.

I think you are getting quite a hard time on here, you are clearly making it work all the other days and your request seems perfectly reasonable. If the school says no then you have to look at other options but this would be my first course of action.

I’d definitely be asking around the parents from both schools (what have you got to lose!) There may well be a parent struggling to do pick up on a different day that you could help with. You say you don’t know the parents well enough but it’s beneficial to get to know a few.

I think you need to get an appointment with the HT to present your predicament to her and ask her if she can allow any leeway. You are in this jam through no fault of your own.

The alternative is to stop thinking 'I don't know' the other parents and approach one or two of them.

There may be no parent parking close to the younger DCs' school, but is there anywhere you can just pull over in your car and collect them from DH before driving off (leaving DH to then walk back to his own car)?

FYI - there’s nothing wrong with being ‘that’ parent. ‘The Government’ don’t pay for schools, tax payers do... and that includes you and your husband
Ooh I do love the "we pay taxes" argument when parents don't get whatever special arrangements they want. 🙄

And FYI there absolutely IS something wrong with being 'that parent'. Reasonable parents ask questions and queries in a reasonable way. Reasonable parents can, and do, hold schools to account and formally complain where necessary.

"That parent" thinks the role of school is to accommodate their preferences and schedules and demands. "That parent" seems to think that they are the special case and they deserve to be exempt from whatever entirely reasonable/simple rule or policy is in place.
The fact that people on this thread seriously think that staff parking should be made available on the grounds of "but I'm busy and haven't sorted the school runs this term" says a lot about what schools have to deal with.

To be honest, given this situation occurs due to the older DC's school, I'm not entirely sure why on earth the responsibility lies with younger DC's school to fix it by having students leaving early, making staff parking available etc.

To be honest, OP, I'd be taking them out for the 15 minutes, given it's assembly time and there's no impact on their learning and I'd be using it as information to include in an appeal to the Local Authority. I understand how difficult it is to get admissions right, but I think that siblings in schools needs to be one of the top criteria again, rather than distance to the school (which is the case where I am). It's completely unacceptable to expect parents to travel across the town to different schools.

I don’t know if this is helpful, but I rent a driveway at a house beside my brothers school so I can do pick up and drop off without so much hassle, would this be worth exploring?

Take dc1 out of swimming lessons and tell school you can't make it work with the other dc's.

Just pick up older DC 15 mins late, really not seeing problem here.

They where right to stop you parking otherwise they have to allow every parent who needs to rush off somewhere park there.

It's not a pushy parent arbitrarily deciding that it would be nicer to be able to use the car park - it's somebody in the unenviable position of having two primary children at different schools through no choice of her own who has made her special circumstances and consequent logistical problems clearly known to the staff - and this is the only workable solution that can be found to ensure the children's safety and continuity of education.

If any of the other parents complain, then they can be told it's a special measure that has been put in place owing to OP's unique circumstances. The principle is the same as with disabled parking bays next to the building in that everybody would like them, but they're reserved for those who need them.

I've picked up a child early once a week for a year, school was fine with it. I now do a nursery pick up 30 minutes before school ends and every day there are a dozen or so kids being picked up early. I'm sure it'd be fine.

Pull your DC1 out of swimming lessons with immediate effect. Withdraw your permission for him to go.

State your reason is that you cannot practically deal with the later pick up and safely pick up your younger DC. Request he stays at school whilst the rest of his class/year are at the pool and then you can pick him up at the normal time.

Whilst withdrawing your permission (do it nicely/politely and to the teacher and head teacher) say that the only alternative you can see working is for you to temporarily be able to park in the staff car park for the Monday pick up only whilst swimming lessons are on.

Why can't your DH pick up the older child instead of the yonger ones on a Monday and wait with him until you get there to pick him up? Then DH can go back to work.

there will probably still be plenty of people milling about 15 minutes after the end of school.

It won't be 15 minutes after end of school though will it? School finishes at 2.45 pm and the swimming class don't get back until 3.15pm, so that's half an hour after school ends to begin with. Op won't be at school until 3.30 or later, so actually 45 minutes to an hour after school ends.

If any of the other parents complain, then they can be told it's a special measure that has been put in place owing to OP's unique circumstances.

But the circumstances aren't particularly unique. OP has the option of paying for after school club like many other parents doubtless do. It really isn't the school's problem that the OP can't or won't sort out adequate childcare.

I'm sorry to be blunt, and I do have a great deal of sympathy for the OP's situation but it really isn't unique or unsolvable by other means.

Whilst withdrawing your permission (do it nicely/politely and to the teacher and head teacher) say that the only alternative you can see working is for you to temporarily be able to park in the staff car park for the Monday pick up only whilst swimming lessons are on.

But swimming child isn't at the school with the car park. The car park school is the other school.

There's no pavement anywhere? Crazy place to have a school. So no one is able to walk to school

Really? I can think of at least 5 rural schools off the top of my head local to me that are like this.

The schools were there long before the traffic, and until the last couple of decades it would have been perfectly safe to walk to them and children did, across fields from the local farms in groups.

Now everyone gets dropped off on a parent's way to work and although it's 30mph past the school the cars passing have been unrestricted for many miles and often don't slow down enough.

But lola as far as I was aware I HAD sorted the school runs! As far as I was aware I had permission to park there.

I will email tomorrow and see if I can get a solution with them.

I'm sorry to be blunt, and I do have a great deal of sympathy for the OP's situation but it really isn't unique or unsolvable by other means.

It's easily solvable - school allows her to.park in car park.

It's easily solvable - school allows her to.park in car park.

Yes but I'm sure parking in the teacher's car park would solve the problems of many other parents too. OP's situation isn't unique and this isn't the only way she could resolve it. Why should she get special consideration that other parents aren't offered?

OP, it doesn’t matter whether she said “I can see a problem with that” or “I’ll make sure it has a reserved sign with your name on it”, the fact remains that it wasn’t her permission to give.

I get how annoying that must be. But I do think waiting outside the school on the pavement should be possible.

“Can’t see”

School Business Manager here. Pop into the office or email and request a meeting with the Headteacher. Explain the predicament and ask if you can arrange to collect early or leave your child by the office once a week.

We’ve accommodated requests like this on plenty of occasions, and I regularly give juice and biscuits to children that are picked up late.

Whilst it isn’t the school’s problem to sort, I’m sure they’ll want to help. We certainly would.