To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

Would they not drop your swimming son back to the school you are at.

I’m not flouncing - I’m just not sure I have other options. I can not afford after school club.

durstar no. Imagine the 2 schools and the pool are the 3 points of a triangle.

You've already come across as 'that parent' by parking in the staff car park, I bet the other parents were furious.

Every suggestion so far has been a no from you. Get in the playground, make some friends, share lifts / ask for help.

Well could you collect from the pool first,and then on to the other school

If they aren't missing lessons, and a member of admin staff has said it's fine - go for it!

If anyone has a problem with it, refer them to the council, who have rejected your appeal(s).

Ask the school(s) to help you solve the issue, your idea seems reasonable (I read it as you are not pushing school 1 to reverse the car park decision, but rather asking school 2 to give a different adjustment). I would start with class teachers they will know who to ask.

Sorry but I think you are being U even though I totally understand your situation. If every parent put in a request to pick their child up 15 minutes early once a week then there would be a lot of disruption to the school day.

they are now ‘clamping down’ on parents parking on the school site.

Unfortunately, very few schools are able to provide parent parking spaces for all the parents who want them. And because parents often think the rule doesn’t apply to them, schools are forced to “clamp down”.

How old are the two DC? Could you collect the younger one first then the older one could just wait for you somewhere? Obviously this depends on age.

Ask the school(s) to help you solve the issue

It really isn’t the responsibility of the school to solve parents’ school run problems.

If they aren't missing lessons, and a member of admin staff has said it's fine - go for it!

It isn’t up to a member of the office staff to grant permission for a parent to park in the staff car park. Any premises issues are the responsibility of the business manager or head teacher.

It does seem tricky but unfortunately, I don't think collecting dc2 early is the answer. They will miss assembly or whatever which is still part of the school curriculum. Plus it is disruptive.

Can your DH claim childcare vouchers to pay for after school club? Or can you (sorry, you don't say whether you work).

Could your parents help with the cost of after school club?

Could DH take the hour out and then work an hour later? Maybe not perfect but as a short term solution it's worth looking at.

Sorry if I've missed this, but how old is DC1?

The reason I’m saying ‘no’ to every suggestion is I’ve looked at all options and they don’t work.

I would be asking a parent I hardly know to have my 2 dc once a week for 45 mins.

OR

asking a parent I don’t know to wait with Dc1 for 20 mins once a week.

OR

cancelling a dc’s extra curricular activity to pay for after school club - which doesn’t help this term as it’s full.

Out of those options I prefer my kids to skip assembly once a week.

I’m not THAT PARENT, I asked and was granted permission to do it. The business manager seem to be accusing me of lying about it and I just want to be able to collect my kids from the schools they’ve been allocated to.

I would do it. I think it’s fine it’s only 15 minutes and assembly isn’t vital.
I’m sure you’ll get many suggestions though and be told you’re a cf/why can’t you use the gravitational pull of the moon and a homemade slingshot device to propel yourself faster in order to not have to pick up early blah blah blah ......

It’s 15 mins once a week it’s fine x

Would they let you do a drive by pick up for the younger child on that day?
This happens a lot at my children's school for various reasons. The receptionist or a TA bring them directly to the car.

I would do it. I think it’s fine it’s only 15 minutes and assembly isn’t vital.

It’s not up to the OP to decide which bits of the day are vital and which aren’t. And the school would have to agree to release the child early once a week every week, so it’s not just a question of the OP deciding that’s what she’s going to do.

I would ask and depending on the answer take it from there. It's really not being THAT parent in your situation imo

I used to collect GS early 1 afternoon a week, it was a dash to an appointment he had regularly and it was missing assembly. His teacher was fine with it. If I got him at regular time we could just about make it but it was a dash and getting him early meant we could get there early and he could have a snack. Can you just ask?

It’s school they can’t keep a child hostage and ‘not release them’ if a parent turns up to collect them !

Then why didn’t the office manager say she wasn’t the right person to ask? I’m now stuck mid term trying to find a solution to a problem I didn’t think I had.

Local childminder has permission to park there daily by the look of things.

Dc1 is a very young y5, age 9. His school is on a busy A road which I wouldn’t want him walking on, but there is nowhere for him to go, it’s a small village school.

I’m just frustrated that I thought I had this whole multiple school run sorted and now it’s not.

I

Make an appointment to see the Head. Explain the problem caused by having your 2 children in seperate schools through no fault of your own.
When I was full time teaching we had one of THOSE business managers. Burser?. She was always alienating people. She even used to stand at her door when the children were walking down to assembly and tell them off for talking as they went by. Liked to be in charge of EVERYTHING. Whereas your ' lady in the office' sounds like the lovely secretary that we had. I am sure the head will be sympathetic.

It sounds like a nightmare for you with various people having to juggle! I would just speak to the head nicely and explain how things are for you and how much of a struggle it is. See if he/she will agree to a parking space. It's not really up to the business manager tbh.
Also speak to the school where the swimming is DC1 I think? They may allow them to wait in reception. There are a couple of kids at my school in same situation - an older sibling collects them 15 mins after end of the school day Mon-Thurs and they have been allowed to wait in reception - for same reason as you that it is too expensive to use ASC just for 15 mins.
I think you're getting a hard time on here!

I guess I’m more trying to work out whether it’s unreasonable to ask the school to release dc (age 6 and 8) 15 mins early as they have revoked permission to park so I can no longer get where I need to be on time.