To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

I don’t think it’s fair or wise to get a nine year old to wait outside school for 20 mins. What if it’s pouring with rain
Then he'd get a bit wet. Children don't melt.

Plenty of children across the country have more than 15 minute walks home from school. In all weathers. Children don't generally melt because of a bit of rain!

At the age of 9??

Yes. At any age. Our year 5 and 6 children can walk home alone with written permission from the parent but they can’t just wander off if their parent is running late or doesn’t show up.

But the OP’s child doesn’t walk home, so it’s irrelevant to her situation.

Put a message on the school facebook page offering to swap with another parent, they collect one of yours once a week, and you babysit for them one evening a month or during the holidays.

You should get plenty of takers.

*Yes. At any age. Our year 5 and 6 children can walk home alone with written permission from the parent but they can’t just wander off if their parent is running late or doesn’t show up.

But the OP’s child doesn’t walk home, so it’s irrelevant to her situation.*

I don't know what year 5 is but assuming age 8 or 9? So op can just write a letter to school giving permission for her child to be released that one day a week. He can wait somewhere nearby if the playground is locked.

I know a school of the type you are describing, OP, and a 9 year old waiting alone there would be conspicuous. You'd be better to explore whether another parent could help, especially if it's only until Easter. There can't be many parents with 4 young DC at 3 different schools, so you could ask the head if they'd make an exception re the staff car park till Easter.

All good points

So op does your dc school let nine year olds leave unsupervised ? Is there a 45 minute supervised library session after lessons????

These are very small rural primaries. Dc1s school will not allow him to wait outside the gates. There is nowhere for him to walk to and even if there was it would be along a very fast A road. Parents rush off after the late pick up as lots have already hung around from normal pick up time with their dc in the classes not off site that term. (We didn’t know about this one day late thing until after dc had started).

Dc has to leave previous school due to horrendous bullying. No school had space for all dc hence they are now at separate schools.

No homeschooling is not an option.

There is no space in dc2/3 after school club even if I could afford it.

I guess I’m more trying to work out whether it’s unreasonable to ask the school to release dc (age 6 and 8) 15 mins early as they have revoked permission to park so I can no longer get where I need to be on time.
You weren't given permission. A member of office staff they didn't think it would be a problem and then the school have clarified that it actually is.

Our school allow parents of children with SEN to park in the carpark and for any other good reasons, so I dont see why your school shouldn't. It seems a very valid reason to me.
SEND is a good reason. Two parents no being able to coordinate their school runs isn't.
Primary schools rarely have enough space for staff and visitors to park. I've regularly gone to meetings after school and had to wait in the car park for TAs/office staff who finish at the end of the school day to go home so I can park for my meeting.
There's always going to be parents who'll think their reason/schedule is a priority to use the car park.

You can't expect to get a place in the staff car park even if only 5 mins - all the other parents would like that too.
Most people have these conflicts at some time.
I paid another parent to collect my DS and she waited in a coffee shop until I arrived 15 mins later.

I suppose the other option would be to withdraw the 9 yo from swimming, especially if he can swim?

And no there is no library! On school grounds or elsewhere!

@Mintjulia think she said earlier she doesn't have the time to do reciprocal childcare

I would email the school office, stating that you were told you could park in the car park due to the problems with having children at different primary schools through no fault of your own and mention the appeal.

Then say you have been advised by X that you cannot park in the school car park. Explain why it would be helpful to park there.

Ask them to confirm if you can park there as the only alternative you can see is for you take your child from school early on that day. All these people saying you need to ask for permission, technically yes, but if they say no then they cannot stop you taking your child. They have already had their afternoon registration mark so what do you think it affects?

Some children miss assembly every week if they have a religious reason, such as JWs, as they cannot be in collective worship.

Ds2 had to attend the eye hospital, we literally collected him 5 minutes after getting his afternoon registration mark, attended the appointment and came back just in time to collect Ds1.

phiney it’s national curriculum swimming, not extra lessons.

I don't know what year 5 is but assuming age 8 or 9? So op can just write a letter to school giving permission for her child to be released that one day a week. He can wait somewhere nearby if the playground is locked.

Year 5 is rising 10.

The written permission at our school is for the child to be allowed to walk home by themselves, not to be released from school early. That would be the decision of the head teacher.

But by the sounds of it, the OP hasn’t asked yet. The head may well say yes, in which case all the speculation is academic.

Dc1s school will not allow him to wait outside the gates*

Serious question. How could they stop him from waiting outside the school for his mother? You've given permission, he's not on school property, it's after school hours. How would they have any jurisdiction?

@AnabelleClarabelle ah your latest post answered a lot of questions , sounds hard

I’d email the head op. It’s not as if you are being a CF, you’d do anything if you could, but it’s not possible so speak to them and see what they suggest.

Is there anyone who could ask to collect your older dc and drop them to the kids school.

I would email the school office, stating that you were told you could park in the car park

But she wasn’t told that. Someone from the office said she didn’t think it would be a problem. Turns out that person was wrong because allowing parents to park in a staff car park is not permitted.

You've given permission, he's not on school property, it's after school hours. How would they have any jurisdiction?

If the OP has given written permission for her DC to walk home, the responsibility is hers. If she hasn’t, the school is still responsible.

I just know the staff would never feel comfortable leaving him there, especially as they would know it’s out of necessity not choice. It’s a small school, and he’s relatively new there.

Seems like typical miscommunication between school staff. I would say have a word with the office lady who gave you permission in the first place. Follow up all communication via email if need be. Most schools are quite considerate but yes you might have to explain the situation multiple times. If I were you I would also make class teacher aware you will be surprised how helpful they can be. Don't read too much into the business managers comments. Hope things work out for you

Yet again all the posters who can't grasp that not all schools are the same, why do people blithely assume that every single school operates in exactly the same way?

Do you really not know that not all schools have reception areas, libraries, playgrounds accessible after school, benches to sit and wait, all children allowed out without sight of a collecting adult etc. I don't suppose the OP is clueless, if these were options she wouldn't be in this pickle