To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

Could DC1 just wait in the school office or reception area to be picked up? I bet it would only take a few times of him doing that for them to find you a parking space.

How old is DC1? Could he walk home by himself and meet you there?

They where right to stop you parking otherwise they have to allow every parent who needs to rush off somewhere park there.

Then why didn’t the office manager say she wasn’t the right person to ask?

She said she “couldn’t see a problem” with it, which is probably true. Doesn’t mean you can, though.

It does sound a nightmare, but as a PP has said, even if your children didn’t get into the same school on appeal, you should still put their names on the waiting list. You have nothing to lose.

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Sorry, without times I'm having trouble 'visualizing'. Is it like this: DC1 'late day' ends at 3.15pm. DC2 day ends at 3.00pm. There is 20 minutes distance. So DC1 would be waiting 5 minutes as you'd pick up DC2 at 3.00 then drive 20 minutes? How old is DC1?

They haven’t “revoked permission to park”, OP.

It’s a staff car park. What do you think would happen if every parent wanted to park there?

If DH can fly out of his work and wait with DC2 until you arrive, can he not take DC2 back to the office with him and have him/her wait quietly somewhere until you get there?

Just pick up the younger child then drive to older one. Surely they can wait for 5 minutes?

I’d do it. You’re not a bloody magician and if the school won’t help, you do what you have to.

Have you looked through all of your expenditure to check whether any savings can be had? A cheaper phone contract or electricity supplier or something? It might be possible to find the money for after school club somewhere. Or could you ask your parents to help out with the money temporarily?

The other obvious option is your DH requesting some kind of flexible working

OP, I don't think the school has actually said you can't park there, from what you've said - just that the business manager is applying rules. I don't think you're talking to the right person. Talk to the swimming DC's class teacher (sorry, I've lost track of which is which) about your dilemma. I know some PPs have said it's not the school's problem, but teachers would much rather understand the situation and try to help than to have you simply take kids out early every week, which is much more disruptive.

Just tell them you'll be collecting your child early once a week. Have them sent to the office with their stuff 20 minutes early that day each week.

Why can’t dc 1 just sit in the school reception area for 15 mins? There are always kids doing that daily at my dc school. They don’t mind.

Ok if sounds to me like the business manager has heard every excuse under the sun which probably explains his response. I would request a meeting with the school business manager and head. Explain the situation - hopefully they will be understanding and issue you with a parking pass or permission to park in the staff car park. I presume this is only temporary for school swimming? and it will change either next term or in September? I would explain that. If that doesn’t work then could you put a shout out on the local Facebook page for someone to pick them up and stay with them until you get there - maybe a sixth former looking for a few quid a week?

Timing: Dc1 (9) usually finishes at 2.45. Dc2 (8) and dc3 (6) at 3pm. On Monday Dc1 finishes at 3.15 pm.

Usually I collect Dc1 at 2.45 and arrive at usual parking spot for dc2/3 school at 3.10/3.15. Dh has collected them at 3pm and walked them the 10 mins to the car. Dh back to work - takes him 20-30 mins.

Collecting Dc1 at 3.15 I wouldn’t get to parking spot until 3.45 - leaving dh and dc stood about, and that’s assuming dh can get out of work for longer which he usually can’t, it’s a rush as it is.

Neither school is in the village we live in.

This isn’t me wanting to do it because I’ve booked them into a club and not left enough time To get there, I happily park away from the school the whole rest of the week.

YANBU.
Email the school and tell them that’s what you’re doing and why. It’s 15 minutes at the end of the day in assembly time. If they’ve got a problem with it they can reinstate permission to park in the carpark once a week.

It applies for 2 terms out of the 3, so after Easter it won’t be an issue.

After school club is full even if I could afford it.

I think an email may be better? I get so flustered in person.

At 9, DS1 is old enough just to wait on his own, it's surely not that big a deal for him to have to wait 15 minutes once a week? Is there a local park where parents/children tend to hang out after school he can go to? I know you said you don't want him waiting around in all weathers but there will be plenty of children walking home every day in the same weather!

I live in an area with separate infants and juniors that are a mile apart and it's very common for the junior aged DC to be hanging round waiting for their parents to pick up the younger ones and get to them.

Defy send an email to the school head and ask tgrir help in solving the issue. Explain your only current option is to request and early release otherwise.

Could you collect him directly from the pool?! That might work?

The teachers won’t let him wait on his own in all weathers! An uncollected child has to be supervised until somebody comes to get them - basic safeguarding. At best he’ll sit at Reception/Office with a reading book, at worst he’ll be put in After School Club and you’ll be charged.

Could dc1 walk from school to wherever you usually park? Then he wouldn't be waiting as long? Obviously depends on age.

Why can't a 9 year old kick a football around the school playground/do some homework in the library for 15 minutes? Tonnes of kids at my children's school have to do that.

Sorry if I missed it but why are they at different schools?

If he's 9 years old, why can't he just stand outside the school gates for 20 mins and wait for you?

Or, if your school are OK with it, sit in playground. (it will take nearly 20 mins for playground to clear at the end of the day anyway.)

Email the school and tell them that’s what you’re doing and why. It’s 15 minutes at the end of the day in assembly time. If they’ve got a problem with it they can reinstate permission to park in the carpark once a week.

That’s not how it works. If you want your child to be released before the school day has finished you have to ask.

And it’s not a question of “reinstating” permission to park in the staff car park. There never was permission - the OP mistakenly asked the wrong person, who was not in a position to give permission and who in any case just said she “couldn’t see a problem”.