To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

[AnabelleClarabelle]

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

I had children in different schools (not by choice) and I feel your pain. One of the schools were ridiculously unaccommodating, they wouldn’t let my child sit in reception (age 4/5 reception year) for 5-10 minutes at the end of the day whilst I got there from my other child’s earlier finishing school.

I ended up collecting my child 10 minutes early 3 days a week. The school found this preferable to me being late to collect.

We had moved areas so I knew no other parents and because of the timings I wasn’t ever on the playground to chat and get to know them!

No solution for you OP but I do understand how difficult it can be.

The solution is the staff car park.

Write an email to the school, setting out your problem, the other solutions you have thought of and the complications they pose, apologise that you haven't asked formal permission, but you thought that permission from the office would be sufficient, and can you please park there for 5 minutes on one day a week to make your life substantially easier.

I know that, OP, but if the child can swim 25m I don't think they can insist on it. My 7 year old has been able to swim 25m for some time, hence why I asked. School swimming often involves so little swimming, I'd prefer one to miss that than take two out early.

My DCs school must be overly strict. Children are not allowed to walk home alone until year 6, and they have to have written permission. AFAIK (dc now at secondary but still have friends with dc there) this was changed recently so children can only walk home alone in the last term of year 6.
A year 5 child would be kept with a teacher until collected. Repeat late comers would be charged for afterschool club

BUT having said that, when I temporarily couldn't get to school until 30mins after it finished, I spoke to the very lovely head and she allowed my DC to join ASC for free for 30mins. (Usually charged for the whole session even if you only needed 15 mins).

OP speak to the school and see if they can help in any way.

If the OP has given written permission for her DC to walk home, the responsibility is hers. If she hasn’t, the school is still responsible

No written permission was needed at my DCs primary school, once a child was in year 5 they were let out, no one checked who they went with or how they got home

Worth bearing in mind that English rural traffic is probably rather heavier than Scottish, too! You'd get squashed by a Range Rover in minutes round here .

Dc1s school goes to the pool and then returns to school. I would be 15-20 mins late collecting him from school so he would be sat out in all weathers for 15 mins at least. Obviously I can’t expect teachers to stay late to wait with him.

Why wouldn't he just wait in the school office?

Picking your DC up 15 minutes early each week would probably flag up with the school attendance officer after a half term.

You have nothing to lose in actually asking for permission to park. But they may so no.

I can understand why you don’t want your dc to hang around outside the school, and that inside isn’t possible.

I’d think about other people who can be paid even if it’s £5 (childminder half an hour?) / or reciprocal if parking doesn’t happen.

I vote for speaking to the head and asking if you can park in the car park once a week. It’s only until Easter. I would think that’s less distracting than picking them up earlier.

@OP - my 9 year old has mine and the school's permission to skip assembly whenever she choose as the assemblies have religious content which get on her nerves. Nothing and no one has suffered because of this. Assembles aren't educational, generally, and it's only once a week.

What amazes me about Mumsnet is how many posters can never see the bigger picture. How will one child, missing assembly once a week adversely the child or the school in ANY substantial way? It won't. Oh but what if everyone did it they cry! Everyone's not doing it. Life is made up of exceptions and shortcuts. That's reality.

Just do what you need to do OP. In a year no one (kid or school) will even remember.

Yes pick him up early one day a week, it's absolutely fine, it's 15 mins ffs. I can't believe people would go to the bother of arranging after school clubs or other parents to pick up for the sake of 15 bloody minutes 🤔

Could your DH do one of the pickups if he misses his lunch break?

You can't just turn up late to pick a primary school ages child up from school On a regular basis - as others have suggested, it could even raise a concern of neglect. I know that sounds extreme but school would not be happy with that at all. I say this as a parent who occasionally has a bad drive back to work and have recently been 10 minutes late to collect on a couple of occasions and the playground was empty (they actually lock ours around 10 minutes after school ends) and the kids were being watched by a teacher - who was practically stood tapping her watch ! As a one off it's ok but you can't do it regularly
Op it sounds very tough but I think you'll have to get a childminder - I have to pay a childminder to have mine from 825- school starts ( which is about 15 minutes ) and have to pay for an hour ! It's a pain but I'd rather do this than feel indebted to a friend or neighbour

Our school (Scotland) lets children leave without adults at P4. Most children will be 8. Some will be 7. Busy roads near us. We get messages to let us know when the lollipoppers won't be there.

I think let the 9 year old start walking to you. Surely there are pavements?

Everyone saying the office woman gave permission for her to park in the staff car park - she didn’t!

The OP says she said she “couldn’t see a problem”. The OP took that to mean she had permission but as a PP said, the office woman was just expressing an opinion and did not have the authority to grant permission.

I know people are saying it’s only for five minutes once a week but in our school it would be a logistical nightmare if every parent asked to park in the staff car park, saying they had no other option. Thankfully it never happens because we have electronic gates!

The problem school will have is that you using the car park once a week will lead to a torrent of other parents asking the same thing. Same with choosing what time to collect. They can't have open season.

I would ask them for their solution. Chuck it back at them, appeals and all and see what they come up with. If its their idea, you may get more truck!!

I'm a childminder and there is no chance I would take on a child for half an hour a week to earn a fiver 😂

Lol

Do you really not know that not all schools have reception areas, libraries, playgrounds accessible after school, benches to sit and wait, all children allowed out without sight of a collecting adult etc.

Yes of course, but all I and other posters were trying to point out is that in many schools leaving a child of that age unsupervised for a short period after school would be no problem. The OP has now clarified that that isn't the case for her - which is fine. I can't see that any posters are now having difficulties grasping that

That was at the cm 😂

My DCs school must be overly strict. Children are not allowed to walk home alone until year 6, and they have to have written permission.
@PorpentinaScamander , yes they are. My dc’s school is year three, so age 7 to walk home.

The juniors just walk downstairs and out an unsupervised exit.

I had this.

DD2 was at different school to DS a mile apart but the road from one school lead to the teachers car park at school 2

Otherwise it would be a long drive round to the front of the school.

I was given permission which was withdrawn to park in the car park.

Roll on collecting DS 20 mins late and it was reinstated.

They can do it - ask for speaking pass for one day a week

For information why doesn’t DH walk the kids back to the office and meet you there? They could read a book there instead surely?

Horrible position to be in.

Either:
a) dc1 has to be withdrawn from swimming as it is outside the normal school hours
Or
b) dc2&3 withdrawn from assembly

Neither option great but neither going to be terrible either.

There are many parents whose school runs are fine tuned and a slight change in start/finish times can screw everything up.

The walking home thing is irrelevant. The OP’s DC doesn’t walk home by himself.