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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my kids out of school 15 mins early once a week?

309 replies

AnabelleClarabelle · 24/02/2020 16:51

I have primary age DC at separate schools (not through choice).

Dc1’s school finishes later on one day due to off site swimming and p.e. This means they need collecting 15 mins after other DC on that day and the schools are 20 mins apart (we are rural).

Younger DC school has no parent on site parking, just a staff car park. I have a 7-10 min walk from their school to my car.

I spoke to the office lady in the summer and she said she ‘couldn’t see a problem’ with me driving up to the staff car park one day a week to enable me to only be 5 mins late for DC1.

The school business manager has just come and told me the car park is no parking for parents etc. Explained situation and she huffily said she would check with office lady but that she ‘didn’t believe that to be the case’ - implying I’m lying?

I’m now feeling anxious about the whole thing.

I have no one who can collect Dc1 on that day so my only other option if I can’t park on site is to collect younger DC 15 mins early on that day so I can get to Dc1 on time.

So WIBU to say I will be collecting th early once a week if they will no longer let me park in the staff car park that day?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnabelleClarabelle · 24/02/2020 17:51

There is literally no where for Dc1 to go - tiny village on a 40mph road that most people do 60mph on. No park, nothing. He’d have to sit in the office but it’s already half hour past normal school finish so office staff are going home.

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 24/02/2020 17:52

Why can't a 9 year old kick a football around the school playground

If a child hasn’t been picked up, the school is still responsible for them. So he would need to be supervised until the OP turned up.

bigchris · 24/02/2020 17:52

@Cohle where do you live ?

We have to pay for any thing after school, whose responsibility would it be if an accident happened in the playground? Or are you talking about secondary school , round here there are no primary school libraries either Grin

bridgetreilly · 24/02/2020 17:53

You might not be in a position to reciprocate with other parents, but I think it would still be worth asking if there's any of them that could help you out with DC1, either as a favour, or in exchange for something else.

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 17:53

The teachers won’t let him wait on his own in all weathers! An uncollected child has to be supervised until somebody comes to get them - basic safeguarding. At best he’ll sit at Reception/Office with a reading book, at worst he’ll be put in After School Club and you’ll be charged.

Really? There are loads of kids playing outside our local primary school in the playground for a good half hour after the bell rings. Kids from 8 (possibly younger) walking home themselves etc.
How would the teacher even know if there was a 9yo playing in the playground for 15/20 minutes.

bigchris · 24/02/2020 17:53

If he's 9 years old, why can't he just stand outside the school gates for 20 mins and wait for you

Good point, he won't melt if it's raining , he'll be bored and his friends mum's will feel sad for him but it's only once a week

PurpleCrazyHorse · 24/02/2020 17:53

Absolutely ask DS1's school if he can wait in the reception area with a book while you get there because they are finishing later than the usual school day and you have other children to collect. It's only for the next 7 weeks as you say the swimming finishes at Easter.

Otherwise ask the school to pick up the youngest ones earlier in order to pick up your eldest on time. It's once a week and you've been allocated different schools, not chosen them. Honestly, DCs school often has children being picked up 10mins early at the end of the day to facilitate all sorts of things. It's once a week until Easter. Plus they've been registered so it won't affect attendance.

YouDancin · 24/02/2020 17:54

Speak to the Head Teacher and explain the situation.
I am pretty sure she will make an allowance for you to park in the carpark if the alternative is disrupting the school day. They are not monsters. (The business manager may be though)

1Morewineplease · 24/02/2020 17:55

May I ask why your children are at different primary schools? This might have some bearing on a request for the LEA to help you. They will not want a pupil to leave school early and might be able to intervene ( unlikely though) in supporting your request to make some allowances.
If your children’s different school options are the result of the LEA being unable to fulfill your choices then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
It’s really difficult.
Maybe the after school club at your second son’s school has a faculty to look after children for 15 -30 minutes.
Don’t forget that if a child is late in being picked up then a member of staff will have to supervise that child until you arrive. Most school staff have meetings , training etc... straight after school. TAs are not paid after their contracted hours.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 24/02/2020 17:55

Didn't realise it was 30mins after that you'd get there. Definitely pick up the younger ones earlier and don't worry about it.

bigchris · 24/02/2020 17:55

How would the teacher even know if there was a 9yo playing in the playground for 15/20 minutes

Our gates get locked so the kids in paid for after school club and being supervised playing in the playground can't escape

Lifesabeach86 · 24/02/2020 17:57

OP this is a tricky one, you really need to arrange a proper meeting to discuss it with the school. Our school allow parents of children with SEN to park in the carpark and for any other good reasons, so I dont see why your school shouldn't. It seems a very valid reason to me.

FamilyOfAliens · 24/02/2020 17:57

How would the teacher even know if there was a 9yo playing in the playground for 15/20 minutes

Because the children leave when the teacher sees their parent and the teacher stays at the exit door until all children have been collected. Any children whose parent doesn’t turn up is taken to the reception area with a member of staff and signed out when the parent / authorised adult turns up. This way we can see which parents are always late picking up and speak to them about it.

YouDancin · 24/02/2020 17:58

And all the people saying you would be "that parent" are probably the people judging who uses the disabled toilets because they look healthy.
Exceptions are made for reasons and getting huffy that they're not given the exception makes them look like a twat "that person".

MarshaBradyo · 24/02/2020 17:58

The answer you got wasn’t a go ahead as it sounds like the type of answer you give if you’re not the person to ask. I know you might have relied upon it.

Assembly might make it harder, as the child would in the middle of it at the early pick up time?

It’s a tricky one but your solution might have to be outside the school.

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 17:58

@bigchris ok that's your school but it's obviously not every school. So maybe ops school is more like my local school. Parents chatting in playground and kids running around playing then people heading to the local park or library etc.

HelenaJustina · 24/02/2020 17:58

@ohnooutofdateham
Children at our school can only walk home alone from Yr5 upwards and they must sign out with the adult on duty at the gate. That adult doesn’t let younger children leave the site unaccompanied and takes charge of contacting the parents of children who haven’t been collected. After School Club use the playground as soon as everyone is off it. We don’t have random football games starting (they go to the park 30 metres away instead!)

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 17:59

Because the children leave when the teacher sees their parent and the teacher stays at the exit door until all children have been collected. Any children whose parent doesn’t turn up is taken to the reception area with a member of staff and signed out when the parent / authorised adult turns up. This way we can see which parents are always late picking up and speak to them about it.

At the age of 9??

MarshaBradyo · 24/02/2020 17:59

They can’t hang around playing because usually the teacher has to hand over the child to someone if they’re in the school playground still.

mantarays · 24/02/2020 17:59

cancelling a dc’s extra curricular activity to pay for after school club - which doesn’t help this term as it’s full.

It’s this one.

Lumene · 24/02/2020 18:00

I don’t think it’s fair or wise to get a nine year old to wait outside school for 20 mins. What if it’s pouring with rain?

The school won’t be able to OK persistent absence.

You could ask them about financial support/discount options for a school club?

Or go through MSE site to look for monthly savings to cover childcare costs.

Cohle · 24/02/2020 18:00

We have to pay for any thing after school, whose responsibility would it be if an accident happened in the playground?

I live in Scotland.

My responsibility, I assume. Just as it would be if anything happened to a child who was walking home unaccompanied. Surely primary schools where you are don't expect every child to have a parent pick them up?

That said, the playground always has plenty of parents/staff/older kids milling around. So I've never been worried the kids wouldn't have someone to help if a genuine problem arose.

The library is supervised for 45mins after school closed as some sort of homework club type thing.

RedskyAtnight · 24/02/2020 18:00

Don’t forget that if a child is late in being picked up then a member of staff will have to supervise that child until you arrive.

Not at 9 in Year 5! A fair proportion of the Year 5s at DC's junior school walk home by themselves.
The simplest solution still seems to be for DS1 to wait in the playground, and if that's not possible (playground locked) then he waits at some suitable place outside school. Realistically, parents and children do not instantly vanish the second that school finishes - there will probably still be plenty of people milling about 15 minutes after the end of school.

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 18:02

@Cohle I'm in Scotland too and on the same page as you. Kids are walking home by themselves (more often going to park in packs) by age of 9 here.

FamilyOfAliens · 24/02/2020 18:02

Our school allow parents of children with SEN to park in the carpark and for any other good reasons, so I dont see why your school shouldn't. It seems a very valid reason to me.

Does the OP’s DC have SEND?