WIBU to shout at neighbour rummaging through my skip?

[Bobthebobbin]

Moved to a new area and managed to fall out with a neighbor already.

I came home the other day to find an old man rummaging through my skip and a pile of "treasures" on the floor that he was helping himself to.

I asked him why he was on my property and what he was doing, he said he needed a few bits! He then proceeded to turn his back on me and carried on sorting through the skip. DP was at home but the man did not knock or ask to remove anything.

I said he can't just come on to my property and help himself to whatever he likes without asking. He said it's in the skip so fair game.

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.

I am furious but also shaken up by an attempted burglary when we first moved in so perhaps that experience is colouring my view.

Genuinely cannot tell if IABU.

Thing is you were unpleasant to him when, as you point out, your DH was in and the lights were on. So he could have already asked your dh for all you knew. And yet you went straight on the attack.
I'm in the camp that it's pretty normal to poke in a skip. Its not like you have a long drive so it's only a couple of steps off the road. So the trespassing /stealing thing is a bit ott.
But. The fact you're not feeling safe is the important thing here. I'd let the skip rage go and focus on that. Does your DH take that seriously? Is there anything you want doing to improve home security eg security lights, new locks? Is it just the area?
cos you sound a bit homesick for your old place too.

Oh dear. You fell for the burglars casing your property in the guise of wanting the radiators

What??

Unless it missed it, this didn't get an answer.

I think she means that the people who wanted your radiators were actually having a good look at your house to see if and how they could break in. You believed them, hence "fell for it". They or their accomplices later came back and burgled you.

I'm in the camp that it's pretty normal to poke in a skip. Its not like you have a long drive so it's only a couple of steps off the road. So the trespassing /stealing thing is a bit ott. Then you need to be careful as not all owners of drives, with or without skips, will agree with you! It isn't your choice to make, if the owner takes issue with you! And it is not OTT for any drive / skip owner to take such issue. They can decide what to do with their property, after all!

It doesn't matter what you or I would do, what we think is reasonable.

Did you let him keep his 'treasures' from the skip or are they now going to landfill?

He is doing you a big favour.The same happened with us and we didn’t have to hire a second skip ...big house renovation . I actually liked the fact that other people benefited from our rubbish.

He should have asked first. He was rude by not asking, and continued to be so by ignoring you. I'd have set the hose on him.

You could have just kept on neighbourly terms and asked him to knock in future.

Why is that OPs responsibility? Shouldn’t he have done that to begin with?

PicaK

Thing is you were unpleasant to him when, as you point out, your DH was in and the lights were on. So he could have already asked your dh for all you knew. And yet you went straight on the attack.

Equally, he could have easily said that he'd already spoken to DH. But he didn't.

And yes, he went off with his treasures.

You were throwing the items away, not storing them for future use! Much better for them to be used than to go to landfill. I think, on this occasion, you are being unreasonable; if you don’t want anyone to take anything then seal your skip with a tarpaulin.

I think you are being unreasonable, really. Coming onto someone's drive is not like coming into the house. Sure, they have to get off your property if you ask them to, but it's considered ok to come up someone's drive to knock on their door, so I don't see that this is any different. The drive is a transition zone, as I see it.

In my opinion this is not about the skip. It’s about him making the assumption that he can just come onto your property and rummage without asking AND the way he spoke to you. He’s trying to mark his territory- I’m with you I would have told him he’s out of order. On another matter it’s not and never was a burglary.

I love a good skip dive, but would NEVER dip into one that was on someone's driveway without first asking. I get quite upset that I see so much usable stuff going to waste, and have removed bits of furniture that charity shops have been very happy to benefit from.

Those people saying it's okay for this person to help himself, would it be okay for him to make use of the skip to dispose of his own rubbish as well? If the skip was on the road then it's a different story, but on private property it is precisely that.

He should have knocked perhaps but old people can be odd other than he was doing you a favour, you are being a bit unhinged.

I wouldn’t mind if it was just that he was taking stuff IF it was out in the street. But he is trespassing in order to do so. YANBU.

I wouldn't have minded - he made more room in the skip for extra stuff! If you were throwing it out surely its better for someone to make use of it?
But he should have asked first, neither of you handled it very well.

I think he was a bit cheeky not to ask since DH was in or to be more polite to you when you arrived home but it would be petty not to let someone have stuff you were clearly going to throw out.

The items still belong to you even in a skip or bin, so technically in the eyes of the law he was stealing.

What if you changed your mind and wanted to retrieve something, he had already taken.

He's helping you!! There's more space in your skip! I would have said 'oh please take anything and everything!' - it's stuff you don't want!?

Ok, he sounds a bit weird/rude but I feel you could have turned it. Try not to dwell - it's done now.

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. Its bloody cheeky to just help yourself when the skip is on someone's drive.

After my mum died I had to clear her house and there was a fair bit of stuff that went in the skip, (bear in mind I lived in the south and she lived up north so not an easy job at all) including furniture that I couldn't take, couldn't sell, and didn't have time to list on any sites like free cycle due to reasons above), but I still found it difficult seeing people walking up the drive and just rummaging through. If they had knocked (and it was obvious I was in the property) and asked politely I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

I would have said for him to take what he wants, but to kindly just give you a knock next time so you know what he's doing. I wouldn't have shouted at him.

I understand what you're saying, Dartmoor, but to shout at the man? What a fishwife!

Legally he's in the wrong.
Most people think skips are fair game
BUT
On your property so should ask.

Previous experience may be colouring a little but your still right

Yabu but it’s no biggie. Really he’s helped you by freeing up some skip room.

I agree, he was being intrusive and rude. CF.

@Bluerussian

Exactly. Because you’re the epitome of grace & class & politeness - amiright?