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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to shout at neighbour rummaging through my skip?

346 replies

Bobthebobbin · 24/02/2020 11:11

Moved to a new area and managed to fall out with a neighbor already.

I came home the other day to find an old man rummaging through my skip and a pile of "treasures" on the floor that he was helping himself to.

I asked him why he was on my property and what he was doing, he said he needed a few bits! He then proceeded to turn his back on me and carried on sorting through the skip. DP was at home but the man did not knock or ask to remove anything.

I said he can't just come on to my property and help himself to whatever he likes without asking. He said it's in the skip so fair game.

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.

I am furious but also shaken up by an attempted burglary when we first moved in so perhaps that experience is colouring my view.

Genuinely cannot tell if IABU.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 24/02/2020 11:22

Complete non event, you’re throwing stuff out, so what if he takes it?

saraclara · 24/02/2020 11:22

If the skip was on the road, okay. But on my property? I'd be angry. He should have knocked and asked at the very least. And he was exceptionally rude to OP considering that he was standing on HER drive.

Costacoffeeplease · 24/02/2020 11:22

People saying it's no big deal, would you be ok with someone walking up your driveway and going through your household rubbish?

YesConfused

Reginabambina · 24/02/2020 11:23

He was really rude. It’s fair to assume that someone doesn’t want the stuff in their skip but you don’t just help yourself and you definitely don’t completely dismiss the skip stuff owner when they query what you are doing. You could have reacted better but we all have our moments.

74NewStreet · 24/02/2020 11:23

Why would you not prefer someone to make use of your old stuff rather than send it to landfill?? Round here we have the opposite problem; turn your back for five minutes and some chancer had dumped a load of crap into your skip!

SpamChaudFroid · 24/02/2020 11:23

When I read the title I was going to come on to say no harm done, stuff in a skip that you want to get rid of. After reading the full post though, I think he was rude to you - I think my own territorial hackles would be up after that. He didn't even ask permission when you approached him, just carried on as if it was his right. I wonder if he would have been as rude to your husband in the same situation?

whitesoxx · 24/02/2020 11:23

Ohno someone going through a skip and someone going through a wheelie bin is entirely different. You don't dispose of confidential waste or personal hygiene waste in skips do you?

HeronLanyon · 24/02/2020 11:24

Once it’s on a skip it’s absolutely fine for someone to take whatever is in there for whatever reason. If in road it drives me mad when stuff is then scattered eg screws/glass etc which could cause puncture etc.
However this skip was on your property and he should then have knocked. Did he know who you were when speaking to him or did he maybe think you were unconnected ?

For peace and neighbour relations I think if it were me I’d go round and say of course he can take anything and that you got a shock just because he hadn’t knocked to ask. This could go wrong though if you are still at all angry.

Gabrielknight · 24/02/2020 11:24

Yabu. Massive over reaction!!!!

sendhelpppppp · 24/02/2020 11:24

i wouldnt care to be honest. He was rude but you over reacted. If i saw a neighbour out the window looking through my skip i'd think "ok" and go back to doing what i was doing.

he should have asked, but meh couldn't get annoyed about it.

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 11:24

Ohno someone going through a skip and someone going through a wheelie bin is entirely different. You don't dispose of confidential waste or personal hygiene waste in skips do you?

You might! We had a skip on our driveway die a month as we were getting a lot of work done. We put all sorts in it if we ran out of space in the bin.

saraclara · 24/02/2020 11:24

So all these posters thinking it's okay would do the same? Rather than knock on the door and ask if it's okay to use some of the stuff?

sendhelpppppp · 24/02/2020 11:26

@saraclara no i'd ask, but equally i wouldn't be bothered if someone did it to me without asking. Its not worth an argument - at the end of the day if ive thrown it in the skip i didnt want it anyway.

DesLynamsMoustache · 24/02/2020 11:28

I wouldn't do the same, but that's cos I have zero interest in getting second-hand stuff out of someone's skip. I don't have an issue with someone else doing it. It's one of those 'Life is too short to get irate about really unimportant things'
situations, like so many things on MN where people are so quick to anger and assume the worst of people. Especially when it's a neighbour you have to live beside for god knows how many years! I'd find it a bit eccentric I guess but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bluerussian · 24/02/2020 11:29

I've had skips and have always been quite happy for anyone to take stuff if they can use it - it's amazing what some people do take. We put a clapped out lawnmower in one and it was taken, I suppose there are people who are sufficiently skilled to mend things. I also helped myself to a mirror in a neighbour's skip, still have it.

Generally one asks first, just out of politeness but if nobody is in or not yet up, why not just take? Someone else will and it's only going to be thrown away, it isn't stealing.

BobtheBobbin:

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.
......
That is awful, Bob. Totally unnecessary. He turned his back on you because you were being defensive and unpleasant, I'm sure nobody else would have reacted like you. Go round an apologise, explain you over reacted because of recent burglary, etc, though your neighbour is hardly a burglar. I can't imagine shouting at someone for such a thing, what did it achieve?

If I put something outside to be disposed of, anyone can have it.

ChainsawBear · 24/02/2020 11:29

People saying it's no big deal, would you be ok with someone walking up your driveway and going through your household rubbish?

A skip is different to bins. IMO there is an unspoken "catch as catch can" with skips, and yes I often put stuff in my front garden anyway to contribute it to the unofficial London Freecycle and have someone who can use it take it away.

Original poster
Bobthebobbin · 24/02/2020 11:29

whitesoxx

"On my property" did you really repeatedly use that? Is this your first home by any chance?

Yes, and yes BlushSad

OP posts:
HopeYouStepOnALego · 24/02/2020 11:30

It's a good thing that he's reusing stuff rather than it going to landfill, but it would have been polite and neighbourly if he'd asked permission first before coming onto your private driveway.

The time to shout is when someone is trying to put their crap INTO your skip.

BreconBeBuggered · 24/02/2020 11:31

He should have asked. And if he had, you'd have told him to help himself to whatever he could reach without falling in or making a mess, presumably? I suppose he had that conversation in his head and decided to cut out the awkward asking bit. YWNBU.

Watermelontea · 24/02/2020 11:31

I wouldn’t be angry they were taking anything but I’d be angry they just let themselves into my property and started rummaging.
A scrap collection man knocked on when we were having our bathroom done, as he wanted our metal bathtub, I said sure crack on. It meant more room for rubbish, which we needed as it went as the bathroom guy was an idiot and broke two of the acrylic bathtubs ordered.

74NewStreet · 24/02/2020 11:31

I “rescued” a fabulous stained glass window from a skip once. It was going to the dump anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

cstaff · 24/02/2020 11:33

Way over the top OP. If anything he was giving you more space in your skip - giving you value for money. Skips are fair game for anyone to have a look and take whatever. Your rubbish could be someone elses new table or couch etc. Where is the harm in that.

Original poster
Bobthebobbin · 24/02/2020 11:33

HeronLanyon

Did he know who you were when speaking to him or did he maybe think you were unconnected?

I walked up the path and was getting my keys out to let myself in, he probably deduced from that. The exchange started off relatively casual but escalated very quickly.

OP posts:
steppemum · 24/02/2020 11:33

we often take stuff out of skips, mainly wood offcuts which we cut up and use in our woodburner.
We ALWAYS knock and ask.
In fact because we do, some people now ring on our bell and say - I've just put aload of wood in our skip if you're interested.

It is technically illegal to go skip diving wihtout asking, but as others have said, I'd rather it didn't go to landfill.
But he was bloody rude, caught in the act, he should have been cheerfully apologetic, and just said - hope you don't mind??? or something.

If I told someone to gte off my property (althoguh i can't actually imagine saying that Grin ) and they didn't I would be pretty cheesed off.

Butchyrestingface · 24/02/2020 11:34

If the skip was on the street, I'd probably tell you to unclench, @Bobthebobbin.

Given that it's on your driveway, and more critically, the fucker treated your request contemptuously and turned his back on you, I'd be inclined to unleash the garden hose (do you have one?)