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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to shout at neighbour rummaging through my skip?

346 replies

Bobthebobbin · 24/02/2020 11:11

Moved to a new area and managed to fall out with a neighbor already.

I came home the other day to find an old man rummaging through my skip and a pile of "treasures" on the floor that he was helping himself to.

I asked him why he was on my property and what he was doing, he said he needed a few bits! He then proceeded to turn his back on me and carried on sorting through the skip. DP was at home but the man did not knock or ask to remove anything.

I said he can't just come on to my property and help himself to whatever he likes without asking. He said it's in the skip so fair game.

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.

I am furious but also shaken up by an attempted burglary when we first moved in so perhaps that experience is colouring my view.

Genuinely cannot tell if IABU.

OP posts:
tiggerkid · 24/02/2020 14:57

The fact that we are talking about the stuff that was in the skip is entirely irrelevant here. It's more the idea of someone just feeling it was ok to come and take something off your property without asking. It's not something that I'd consider as reasonable or acceptable behaviour. The neighbour doesn't get to decide what the OP needs or doesn't need, and he must ask for permission before taking anything from anyone's property! Otherwise where do you set the boundaries? Next time, she decides to do some work on her house, and the builders leave the materials for unfinished work for an hour while they are at lunch or even for the night when they go home. He could use his judgement and decide the stuff isn't needed and he can help himself. Yes, we can all say it would be obvious it wasn't rubbish but what's obvious to one person isn't obvious to another. This is why most people operate on a simple and basic understanding of not taking anything that's not yours without permission!

Original poster
Bobthebobbin · 24/02/2020 15:01

WhentheRabbitsWentWild

Oh slate South London

Why not go back to your "naice" SW corner then

Because I have a lemonade budget Wink

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 24/02/2020 15:03

The neighbour doesn't get to decide what the OP needs or doesn't need

Of course not. But OP has decided she doesn’t need it, that’s why it’s in the skip.

tiggerkid · 24/02/2020 15:13

Of course not. But OP has decided she doesn’t need it, that’s why it’s in the skip

Yes, and it's still not anyone's business to just come and help themselves. Let me give you an example: I had some garden work done once and the landscaper just emptied my old shed and chucked everything in the skip. I came back from work and found my watering can and a couple of other things I wanted to keep. I didn't realise he was going to get to the old shed that day but he did. So I got my watering can and few other things from the shed out of the skip. If any of my neighbours helped themselves based on their assumptions, I may not have found what I wanted there. I am not saying that the OP is in the same situation but that illustrates quite well as to why the hell you should never take stuff off someone's property without permission!

Sometimes some stuff also gets accidentally binned and I've heard plenty of stories when people even go back to look through their bin bags because it's something that matters to them! So, no, it's still not OK!

BackOnThatRollerCoaster · 24/02/2020 15:19

What @duvetneeded said. YANBU at all

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 24/02/2020 15:23

He was definitely rude to you and could have been a lot nicer about it, but if he was making more space in your skip, that's only a good thing for you.

Unlike our neighbours. Who completely filled our half full skip recently. I still can't speak to him without gritting my teeth.

Jaxhog · 24/02/2020 15:27

Yes, it was very rude of him, but on the plus side at least its fewer things to get rid of. And not as bad as neighbours dumping their stuff in your skip. That's what they do where we live.

Feelingpoorlysick · 24/02/2020 15:30

Surely its better that your 'rubbish' goes to a new home rather than landfill. You're being precious.

LilQueenie · 24/02/2020 15:38

the unreasonable part is that he did so on your property. If it was off your property then no issue.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 24/02/2020 15:39

Well, quite, PinkSparkly, anything not actually in the skip isn’t fair game at all. But to be fair most people would know that, you just got a couple of thieving bastards, not the usual skip divers.

We got the usual skip divers as well. I think one of them must have thought I was mad when I saw him pull something out of the skip and I realised I'd changed my mind and ran out and snatched it off him! He actually looked quite disappointed

justletitbe · 24/02/2020 16:01

so many sensitive people who get upset so easily....

this is for you----

BOOOO !!!!!!

Bet you all are upset once again

AIBU

no one cares

poor old man

Hmm
makingmammaries · 24/02/2020 18:44

Oh purlease.
The stuff was in a skip. Obviously not wanted.
He didn’t come and stare through your windows. And probably didn’t want to bother you by knocking on the door, and perhaps also felt it would be embarrassing.
In the end he did you and the planet a favour. Cut him some slack. He’s also your neighbour. YABU.

Oxo01 · 24/02/2020 22:32

Im more annoyed when people dump stuff in someone else's skip so they do have to pay to discard their own crap.

longwayoff · 24/02/2020 22:40

He was rude and you were more rude. It's stuff you've binned, what difference does it make to you whether he takes it or not? If you continue to treat your neighbours in this way we can look forward to many more anecdotes. He moved my bins/ parked outside my house/ touched my hedge/ looked at me in a funny way . . . Enjoy your new neighbourhood.

dayslikethese1 · 24/02/2020 23:56

I think it's a bit weird he didn't say hi; have you met before? Skip diving is fine though, about half my DF's furniture is from skips Grin

WhatchaMaCalllit · 25/02/2020 08:34

@dayslikethese1 - he might not have been given the opportunity to introduce himself if the OP started to argue with him....maybe????

Soontobe60 · 25/02/2020 09:06

Technically, unless you paid cash for your house, the driveway belongs to the mortgage company 🤣
We had a skip on our driveway, I found two men rummaging through it one morning. I went out and asked if they were looking for anything in particular. They wanted anything they might be able to sell. Told them to help themselves and if they came back after lunch there’s be more stuff. Saved me paying for another skip. Oh and to the pp who thinks the skips are sorted through before going to landfill, what planet are you on??? All skips go straight to landfill!
YWBVVV rude and U I’m afraid. I’d gave just said hello to the bloke and told him to help himself, but then I’m not too precious about my driveway.

SleepDeprivedElf · 25/02/2020 09:08

Honestly YAB ridiculous! Check yourself for shouting at an old man.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2020 09:20

Crikey! There are some ver odd perspectives on this! The law is sketchy on the theft angle but:

Skip on the road = free for all, though it is polite to ask

Skip on a drive = you are trespassing. Knock on the door and ask first... or fuck off!

OP had every right to protest her NNs actions. He was a rude arsehole who could just have apologised for being a bit previous and asked if she minded!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2020 09:21

Check yourself for shouting at an old man. Yeeah, cos they are all lovely, angelic and sweet!

StarlightLady · 25/02/2020 09:29

He should have asked. Maybe he didn’t ask because hecwas concerned about the response.

But you got rid of the stuff and he would like it. Maybe he has to live on a low budget.

If ever l throw anything out which is in good condition, l leave it by the front garden with a note on it. If it’s not taken, then it goes to the tip.

It’s called recycling.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2020 09:35

Maybe he didn’t ask because hecwas concerned about the response. ISn't that a bit like a rapist's excuse. "I would have asked but she would have said no! Hey! She did say no but..." You know... that thing about consent!

It's only recycling if the legal owner says so. Otherwise, from a skip on a drive is trespass and theft... consent is, as usual, key!

looselegs · 25/02/2020 10:00

I'd be a bit annoyed if they hadn't knocked and asked- just common courtesy really, especially if they're coming onto your property.
At least they're not putting stuff in it- that really winds me up!!!

missymousey · 25/02/2020 10:01

Poor guy.

Yes it would have been nice if he'd asked, but I'd have been pleased someone could have reused stuff I was chucking, whether he asked or not. I'd have used it as an excuse for a chat and to get to know my neighbours. I'm not in London though.

Bluerussian · 25/02/2020 10:13

What has being in London got to do with it, missy :-)? I'm in London too and have always been pleased for anyone to help themselves to the contents of my skip whether on the road or in drive.

Strictly speaking, the man was trespassing - maybe he didn't know something like that was trespassing - but there was no reason to shout at him, that was appalling behaviour.