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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To finally evict my lodger, even though she will end up homelss

612 replies

Throwawaytheatre · 24/02/2020 02:08

Hi all,

Posting more for advice, but a little bit of aibu too...

Currently lying awake with worry and anxiety despite having to be up for work in less than four hours.

I’ve posted about my lodger before. She’s an old friend of mine and things started well. However; the past few months have been hard work. The first issue I had with her was when she had her partner at the time stay over. I told her I didn’t want men I didn’t know in the house and her partner in particular made me very uncomfortable. She had him stay over anyway and then after I had a chat with her to let her know how this made me feel, she had him over till one in the morning about a month ago.

She has since broken up with him, and this evening went on a date with a man she met online. She does not know this man at all and he is in his 30s (we are both 20s). She then brought him home and woke me up by having very loud sex. I have been unable to fall back asleep as I have been quite anxious about having a strange man she’s known for a few hours in the house. He could be anyone for all I know.

Just before Xmas she quit her job as she couldn’t hack doing nights anymore. She is now on UC; and is behind on rent. Our agreement says rent is weekly but she pays monthly in arrears if you see what I mean? She missed the Jan payment and has told me she will be unable to pay any extra this month (so assuming she pays be next week as normal she will still be four weeks behind ifyswim?) - I will add she always seems to have money for tobacco but that’s by-the-by I suppose.

As she is not working she has the heating on all day and my last gas bill was over £100.

The main reason I want to end the agreement is because she obviously doesn’t respect that this is my home and property and doesn’t respect that I don’t want strange men in it! However, I wonder if I would be better off making the arrears the “official” reason?

Do I have to give her a months notice or just a week - the agreement is weekly rent (in writing) but as I say she pays monthly.

The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out. But I can’t keep living like this!

Thanks.

OP posts:
TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 24/02/2020 20:13

That you should give reasonable notice to lodgers and that it could be pretty difficult to force them out without it. How exactly do you think OP could get the lodger out tonight she didn't want to go?

She has not contributed anything since December. She is no longer a lodger. She is now a freeloader who has out stayed her welcome. It might be pretty hard to forcibly remove someone, but possibly a call to police saying there is somebody in your house that refuses to leave?

OP is unlikely to do that as she is currently telling her friend she is giving her notice that she needs to leave.

The friend has no "right" to the OP's home. She has no "right" to live there. She has no "right" to stay beyond the time the OP tells her to leave. She has no "rights" at all. She was the first to break the contract. As of now, the contract is void.

Should OP, like a mug, allow her friend to stay another 4 weeks, not paying a penny and subsidise a fully grown adult woman for 12 weeks of free bed and board and have strangers walking around her house without her consent?

Cop on woodchuck.

BlueChangling · 24/02/2020 20:15

You're not BU OP and I'm sorry that you're going to lose someone you considered a friend. To be honest your well rid

notasportymum · 24/02/2020 20:18

OP is a landlord no wood, OP isn't. CF has breached their contract, then ignored a further arrangement to pay so it no longer applies including any right to notice. At this point, OP is a homeowner with a houseguest who has outstayed their welcome and can be told to leave immediately.

If there was a stranger in my house I wouldn't be able to leave for work until they were gone. I would not permit someone who put me in that situation to remain a moment longer either. Neither CF or man have a right to be there at all. OP did well to go out this morning, she has a right to feel safe in her own house and last night she didn't, and was too intimidated to tell the stranger to leave. That is grounds for police involvement.

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 20:21

She has not contributed anything since December. She is no longer a lodger. She is now a freeloader who has out stayed her welcome. It might be pretty hard to forcibly remove someone, but possibly a call to police saying there is somebody in your house that refuses to leave?

So rather than give a week's notice she should waste police time by phoning them and saying someone in the house refusing to leave. I'm sure they'll be really impressed when they find out she is a lodger who hasn't actually been served notice until today.

OP is unlikely to do that as she is currently telling her friend she is giving her notice that she needs to leave.

Yes OP has far more sense than the posters telling her to force the CF out tonight and is giving a week's notice.

Should OP, like a mug, allow her friend to stay another 4 weeks, not paying a penny and subsidise a fully grown adult woman for 12 weeks of free bed and board and have strangers walking around her house without her consent?

Now she should give a week's notice. That is what I've been saying all along and that is what OP is doing. i.e. she is not doing what half the idiots on this thread are telling her to do.

MabelTheCow · 24/02/2020 20:23

Now she’s in UC her mum May have her back if it was just a benefit thing.
Good luck OP. Hope it goes smoothly tonight

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 20:23

No wood, OP isn't. CF has breached their contract, then ignored a further arrangement to pay so it no longer applies including any right to notice. At this point, OP is a homeowner with a houseguest who has outstayed their welcome and can be told to leave immediately.

It doesn't work like that. www.lodgerguide.co.uk/lodger-notice-template-rent-arrears/

GabsAlot · 24/02/2020 20:29

Woodchuck the police done care about that heyre not going to force op to keep someone in her house with her that she doesnt want there ffs

notasportymum · 24/02/2020 20:34

wood it certainly does work that way.

OP has already done everything on that link, mostly today but then there is no legal timescale or legal requirement to do any of it anyway as they had their own contract which CF breached, its just a guide. And CF had already thrown away any tenuous rights as a lodger, 2 months ago.

OP is a householder unwillingly paying for someone else's upkeep and now subjected to unwelcome intrusion in her home.

You are looking at this from the perspective of a landlord dealing with a tenant. This isn't that. Anyway, you're an idiot and am bored of you now.

longearedbat · 24/02/2020 20:40

'The licence to occupy will automatically terminate if they are in two months of rent arrears'.
@woodchuck 99 this is a quote from the link you put up. As the lodger IS two months in arrears, they can have their occupancy terminated forthwith. I don't know why you are so on the side of this freeloading cf.

LaneBoy · 24/02/2020 20:52

Good luck OP

TheyDoDoThat · 24/02/2020 20:52

You don’t need to give a reason why you want her gone. It’s your house. I would also say she needs to pay the arrears by x date or you will put a small claims in.

tensmum1964 · 24/02/2020 20:53

Hope you stood your ground and told her OP.

TheReluctantCountess · 24/02/2020 20:54

I wonder if she went quietly. I suspect not.

AnotherEmma · 24/02/2020 20:55

She won't have gone at all.

Noshowlomo · 24/02/2020 20:59

Hope it all goes well OP

Nat6999 · 24/02/2020 21:05

As a lodger she has no rights, you can ask her to leave at any time, the most she can expect from you is a letter stating she has to leave to take to the council. Don't give her the letter until she has packed her bags & is out of your house, don't let her go to the council before she leaves because they will tell her to sit tight so that they won't have to rehouse her. If she won't leave, ring the police or a big friend to extract her from your home, then change all the locks.

Hugtheduggee · 24/02/2020 21:10

Def send her away, but with reasonable notice of a week. For the arrears though, the bringing guys back bit makes me just think the OP is not very compatible with having a lodger. Not that she sought one out though...

Woodchuck is right though.

A bad and unreliable tenant is still a tenant and a bad and unreliable lodger is still a lodger. Their poor behaviour doesn't not remove the need for reasonable notice. And whilst it might not be defined, I can't imagine in most situations,the same or next day would suffice.

I am a bit appalled by the notion that just because the lodger will find it difficult to enforce her legal rights (she could apply for an injunction I guess, if she had time and funds) that the legal rights don't matter. Whether something can be enforced/chances of getting caught should never play a role in us deciding whether to disregard the law. She still has the right to reasonable notice even if it's difficult to enforce.

All this is academic though because the OP has sensibly decided to give a weeks notice.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 24/02/2020 21:12

OP, I had a similar situation, but my friend was paying no rent (she was between flats) and sleeping in my living room! When she moved out, she left a load of dirty dishes, and not even a bottle of wine to say thanks for having her stay for six weeks instead of the one we agreed on. We are no longer friends.

Lovebug06 · 24/02/2020 21:23

Good luck op.

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 21:28

The licence to occupy will automatically terminate if they are in two months of rent arrears'.

She won't be two months in arrears until next week which means it hasn't automatically terminated.

I don't know why you are so on the side of this freeloading cf.

I'm not on her side at all. I'm on OP's side which is more than can be said for the people who are telling her to try and evict the CF tonight. It's clear from all their place marking that they just interested in the drama.

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 21:34

You are looking at this from the perspective of a landlord dealing with a tenant. This isn't that. Anyway, you're an idiot and am bored of you now.

No I'm looking at it at the perspective of someone used have lodgers. I have also posted links which is more than can be said for the people insisting that someone is no longer a lodger if they are late with the rent or that the police will come around tonight to help her evict. The idiots are those trying to create drama for the fun of it.

strawberry2017 · 24/02/2020 21:36

Hope all has gone ok OP

flower1994 · 24/02/2020 21:47

woodchuck99 you do this sort of thing on sooo many threads on here, you got into a back and forth with me on a coronavirus thread ive just recognised your name that made no sense either, do you just enjoy a debate?

Zombiemum1946 · 24/02/2020 21:47

As a precaution make sure you change the locks the day she goes. It may be expensive but it will give you peace of mind. Hope all goes well for you.

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 21:58

you do this sort of thing on sooo many threads on here, you got into a back and forth with me on a coronavirus thread ive just recognised your name that made no sense either, do you just enjoy a debate?

The fact it makes no sense to you doesn't mean it makes no sense. It could mean you're not very good understanding.