What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

I had a friend in school who was adamant that her dad was not actually the carribean husband of her black London born and bred mother but was in fact billie Joe Armstrong from Green day, and that he was going to take her back to America with him when he got out of prison.

Nevermind the fact that she would very likely have had quite a different skin colour had her dad been white, if billie Joe Armstrong was her dad he would have been about 15 when she was born, in London (according to her passport) .

There were many other lies she told but that's the most outlandish one I can remember

I doubt he told the hospital he was poisoned, but that is certainly what he told the company. The company should have contacted the police but don’t appear to have done as I was never contacted by them

I’ve fought this colleague for bullying and harassment for two years since this ridiculous allegation. I got told because the comments were made in good faith (?) and investigated in a similar fashion that this is as far as they go.

I want to do something privately but I assume I am time barred now.

I would love to say what he said but it is hugely outing. I would say many, many people in my company know the story. Suffice to say that it wasn’t anything to do with food. And despite other people working there, I managed to affect him and him alone, despite me not being there. Clever huh?

Oh and he has moved on now. With a clean record.

How are these descendents being found, from 1000 years ago when most folk could not read or write?

because in many parishes, the records were kept, quite well, for hundreds of years.

Not all rich families either. if your famiy has been based in one place, and the village priests have been conscienscious, then it is possible to trace.

My dh has his family tree going back to 1500 and something. His family lived on a large island in Holland. The villages were very stable and static and the records were kept.

The biggest problem going further back is they all have the same surname!

ordinary people don't need to be able to read and write, just the person keeping the record.

Ever read the Caerfel etc series? Those monastries kept records of the village. Many are still available.

Have NC for this. My mother is a chronic liar and always has been, which can be difficult for me at times. She was living in London in the 1960s (that at least is true) and she knew all kinds of famous people including all the people involved in the Profumo scandal. Except she didn't. She knew Guy Burgess, Kim Philby and the rest of the Cambridge spy ring, and was the girlfriend of some of them, so knew that they were spies before anyone else did. Except she wasn't. My father was an Olympic skier and knew the famous skier Jean-Claude Killy, who was his best friend and went to school with him. Except my father, a good but not outstanding skier, did not even go to school in the same country as Killly. There are hundreds more such examples, always involving famous or infamous people.

The biggest lie of the lot, which I have not forgiven her for but have just moved on from, is lying for my whole life about who my real father is. She does not know that I know she has lied. Not worth the drama...and at least in this she is not all that unusual I believe...

It’s normal to return to work soon after miscarriage so that woman may have been telling the truth. I had surgical management for my second missed miscarriage on the Tuesday and was back at work on Thursday. I didn’t want anyone to know I’d miscarried again because I just wanted to forget it had happened.

I also worked with someone whose dad died twice.

My SIL changes what has happened to make herself look good. When my MIL was home bound before she died she told everyone her and her husband cared for her day and night for months. She visited once for an hour. We actually did the care but she went round the funeral telling everyone we did nothing.
She quit work because she didn’t want to work basically. Told everyone years later that her DC had been seriously unwell in hospital so she couldn’t continue. Not even slightly true.
Told her husband she will still get her ‘full pension’ from the job she quit. She only worked there 2 years so I imagine she’ll get basically nothing. This is going to be a shock to him in a few years.

I was a bit of a fibber as a teenager I desperately wanted to be cool or popular, and made up stories to try to “fit in” including more than one fictional boyfriend, who I would sneak out at night to meet up with. Unfortunately the only thing I succeeded in doing was giving myself a bad reputation! I honestly wish I could go back in time and give teenage me a good shake.
I did grow out of it though.

On a rather lighter note, my XH once called in to work when he had a huge hangover to say he could not come in because the cat was in a coma.

Had food poisoning but posted FB pics of herself in Mexico.
Said she had also lost a baby but posted pics of herself drinking in Vegas two weeks before.
Was off for migraines but did a well known half marathon and was on TV. The list goes in with her. Best one was she told everyone the IT man fancied her. When she left they found a police document with a restraining order on for HER to stop harassing him.

This sounds just like an employee we had!

Went AWOL for a few days and said it was because she'd lost a baby but her social media was full of pictures of her on a jolly with her boyfriend.
Boasted constantly about working for someone well known in our area of business and how he fancied her but it after she was fired turned out he too had a restraining order against her as she was obsessed with him.
We had a tracker on her company car (she was aware of this when she took the role) but constantly lied about where she was when we could blatantly see she was parked at home!

My mum has told some crazy stories about us over the years. She told a story that my brother was once poorly and when she took him the Dr's they said how is this boy still standing, he has fluid on the brain! Apparently it was drained through his ear. She told me when I was born there was a problem with my eyes so the Dr's took my eyeballs out and washed them and put them back in. That she has osteoporosis. That I was dangerously allergic to red food colouring. That she saw someone get their head chopped off and she saw it rolling down the street. She told these things over and over as I was growing up, I'm quite wary of her now!

One of the parents on the school run had told various ones. The latest is one of her lungs has suddenly stopped working. Yeh right she also speaks to the class teacher every morning, no-one else gets a look in.

That he had died and woke up in the morgue. Told this story on numerous occasions.

@BiscuitBarrels pissing myself about being trapped in the living room not able to open the door after putting hand cream on! That is BRILLIANT. 🤣

Billywig Billie Joe Armstrong has spent time in prison??? Surely not

I know someone who tells some amusing lies about his parents. Last I heard, they were "stinking rich", had £500k in the bank, and the dad was working secretly for the Sultan of Brunei. Righto. She's worked about 3 days in her entire life, they rent a council property and he's some kind of gas fitter. No idea why the kid makes such shit up.

My friends Child's father (her ex) was a notorious liar.
regularly missed visitation with the child as he had car troubles- he was a mechanic and co-owned a garage.
The worst excuse for not picking up the child was that he had fallen and broken his back- the conversation was by text and he sent a picture. We reverse searched the image and it was one of the first images to come up on google when you searched 'broken back'

When she confronted him he said he sent the picture by accident as he was 'out of it on meds' and had it on his phone because he was googling what a broken back looked like as he couldn't see his own in the mirror.

The hand cream story is quality! I'm imaging slapstick scenes where she realises she can't leave the room and desperately attempts to ring in sick, phone slipping out of her creamed up clutches, fingers skidding all over the numbers on the screen 🤣

An in-law had 2 hysterectomies.

my mothers husband was/is an MI5 spy!

he`s fat and old....hardly daniel craig lol!!

he cannot understand why no one likes him.

he was / is fat, old and "on the sick"

oh another one was he was trained up "in computers", truth was it was afree college course on basic computing in 1993! dh had fun questioning him on IT as he knows quite a bit lol.

lol at hancream. I`m picturing Ross and the leather trousers incident!

My husband reminded me - after I had a bit of a reminisce about this woman following this thread (we used to work together) - that there was another doorknob-related incident with this woman.

She also phoned up in a separate occasion saying she couldn’t come in because she’d pulled the door handle off her front door and therefore was trapped in her flat.

She was spectacular 😂😂😂😂😂😂

A colleague of mine said she couldn't come in to work one weekend as her daughter in law had gone into labour....

When she returned on the Monday and we asked about her new grandbaby she said (plain as day) 'oh it wasn't time so they pushed the baby back up'...

Just remembered a woman pretending to be pregnant. Everyone chipped in for presents for her when she left on "maternity leave".

She was quite a large girl and had everyone fooled. Quite sad really. No idea why she did it!

I told a big lie as a child. We had moved back to the uk to a town I had never lived in before to a new primary school etc so I'm sure I just wanted to impress and make friends. I told a girl that our school had its own pool (it didn't, we had to get a coach to it once a week) and we had lessons in the pool. I said that we had special floating sun loungers with side tables so we could write 😂😳 I wonder what this girl thought!

I didn't carry on a life of lies though, it was a one off!

I lived with my ex years ago. We had broken up for a while and we’re back together. While we were apart he had been seeing someone else.

Anyway, I found lots of letters to / from this woman written while we were together. He was telling her about fab weekends in another city with his posh family and cousin who was in a band. He was talking about my family and cousin but omitting me from the whole story.

Anyway, the band ended up really quite famous: we split up soon after I discovered the letters, and I wonder if he kept up the pretence to this lassie that he was related to someone in the band.

Same boyfriend phoned in sick to work when Scotland were playing in the World Cup. Idiot then ended up on the front page of the Daily Record as he was in a pub looking devastated with the result. Think he got a warning from his work.

He would often get the bus with me off to uni and him to work. Would get off at the bus stop near his work. Then ten minutes later would just hop on the next bus home after calling in sick to work