What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

[Kirkman]

Thinking about it. That's not the worst.

A friend if mine had a toxic father in law. Horrible man. He generally stayed away. But did tip up once asking for 10k. He needed a heart transplant but couldnt afford time off work. And that's how much he needed to cover his Bill's.

The heart was ready and waiting and was frozen. The hospital gave him 6 week to make his mind up about having it,before it went to someone else, apparantly.

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

God some of these are insane! Do they not think they'll get caught out?

[P1nkHeartLovesCake]

I worked with someone who’s mum died twice in 2 years! First time she had 2 weeks off, all fine none of us suspected a lie I mean why would you? Then about 18 months later she phoned wanting time off as mum had died....Umm no Sarah you can’t have time off for dead mum as she died 18 months ago remember according to HR funny enough Sarah never returned to work!

[Kirkman]

Also I know someone who insists her heart isnt in her chest. It where everyone elses stomach is. No explanation for where her stomach is.

[AriadnesFilament]

An ex-colleague had form for appropriating illnesses and conditions she’d seen in the news, including someone who’d sadly had to have a lower leg amputated due to complications from diabetes (seen in something like Take a Break or similar).

Cue her ringing in sick the day after passing said magazine around at lunchtime: “I can’t come in today, I’ve got diabetes of the leg”

She also phoned in once claiming that she couldn’t come in because she was trapped in her living room and couldn’t open the door handle after putting hand cream on.

[ALongHardWinter]

A guy I used to be friends with told me the following :-
He'd climbed Mount Everest without oxygen.
He used to be in the Foreign Legion.
He'd trained to be a doctor (with one GCSE in art to his name).
A very famous,successful band had asked him,years ago,to join them as their lead guitarist.

I was at all these.

[johnwayneisbigleggy]

A now ex friend was a dreadful liar. She once told me that her uncle died on the operating table during a cancer op and the hospital rang his wife and told her that he had passed away. Then some 20 minutes later they called her back and said they'd made a mistake!!

[crispysausagerolls]

Ex best friend was a serial liar - said she got raped. Everyone supported her and her lies became so extravagant - that she was internally damaged and couldn’t have children because of what he had done etc.

All turned out to be a pack of lies.

[Pinkyyy]

Loving this thread. I honestly think lying about a bereavement, especially of a parent, is sick.

[EnthusiasmIsDisturbed]

From a guy I was seeing ‘my sister has died’

Then went into whole week of calls there were tears, stories of arguments in the family about the funeral, how he was comforting his niece and nephew, what he was going to read out at the funeral and so on

He was on holiday with his wife .... (like to point out I had only been out with him a few times and had absolutely no reason to be suspicious he had covered every track)

[Natsku]

My ex said to me, and his parents, that he had been offered a job with a secret government agency, so super secret he couldn't say what it was, and that the job required that he have sole custody of DD who would be looked after by some kind of bodyguard nanny and I would be allowed to see her once every 3 weeks.

[QueenOfOversharing]

At primary school & a new girl joined - she had moved to our Scottish town from London. She was 42nd cousin to the pope.

I burst out laughing & kept saying that apart from the obvious, there's no such thing as 42nd cousin!

Every girl in our year, bar one (thank you Fiona), ignored me. Moved desks away from me & everything.

[Bubblemonkey]

“Diabetes of the leg made me choke” @BiscuitBarrels 😂

[twoshedsjackson]

Cheeryandmerry you've highlighted what happens in the end. Rather sad story from the same class; "Bill" was known for his tall tales; he'd been there, done that, seen a real Viking ship when he went on a day trip to the seaside, mostly they humoured him. Then we got on to the topic of fossils. He had some real specimens and brought them in to show us (the sort of very common, but genuine, ones you can get from museum shops) I could see they were the real deal, but the class refused to believe him, or me; "Nah, they're plastic!". He was devastated, wept bitterly and learned the hard way about crying wolf. At least he had the excuse of still being a child, and I can only hope he grew out of it; but the posts on here about adults are astonishing.

[chuffoff]

Have a colleague who when she joined the team, told us that she lived on a particular road (road A), nice road but nothing spectacular and we had no reason to disbelieve her. However, we started to suspect she was prone to little fibs (eg she said she won a local running race - results online suggested otherwise) and that a cake she had brought in was homemade when we found the packet for a local shop in the bin. Then another colleague saw some paperwork in the office with her name and a different address on to where she claimed she lived (road B). This address was just a few roads away from road A and also very close to where I live. It's been 3 years and I have seen her go in and out of the address on road B countless times. She obviously lives there. I've never challenged her on it though, always pretended not to see her and she's never called out to me if she's seen me. I figure she must've lied for a reason at the time and I don't want to embarrass her. We've all become quite close friends but she still maintains she lives on road A to the extent that when we drop her off after nights out she always makes us drop her off at the closest bus stop and she'll cross the road in the direction of road A but if we keep an eye on rear view mirror we see her cross back again towards road B. Such bizarre behaviour.

[SisterAgatha]

None of mine are as bad as this, some of these are shockers!

I had an ex tell me he ran away to South Africa when he was 13, with no passport. Didn’t like it so he came home and no one had noticed he was gone.

SIL lied about stealing several thousands from her workplace.

[TheReluctantCountess]

Someone I once knew told me she’d had to have a hysterectomy as a teenager.

She now has three children.

[PositiveVibez]

My old boss. She was such a liar.

She said Alan Sugar told her, that her and her friend had taught him everything he knew about women in business. I thought well why the fuck are you an office manager on 20 odd grand.

Another whopper was that she was in a restaurant in Paris and Madonna was there. Apparently Madonna was with some music producers and was very impressed with my boss as she knew who all the producers were and she kind of ignored Madonna and was just chatting to the producers.

She did have a picture of herself with Madonna, but a friend had it apparently.

My god. The bullshit was immense.

[Whynosnowyet]

My exh told everyone he had won his court case regarding a ddog attack. . Took dc to look at cars. Told the neighbours he was getting custody of my dc.
None of it happened.

[EverythingChanges321]

OMG, I’m dying here....Chopped off by instalments and plastic uterous

In my late teens, I had an ex who was a serial liar. He once claimed he was sleeping with a well known actress at the time (whose father lived locally) and all sorts of bizarre crap.

Unfortunately, when I was older I had a friend who was dating another serial liar and I tried to warn her off him because he was trying to get her to sell her house and buy a very expensive property with him.
I knew from various bits of info, he was a born liar and I suspected he was also actually broke, but she was besotted.
Luckily, before she signed the paperwork she got chatting to an old friend of his at a family event who put her straight on several matters and she finally dumped him. Sadly, our relationship never really recovered.

[UnaCorda]

Someone I dated pretended he lived on his own when he actually had a lodger.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

QueenOfOversharing there is such a thing as 42nd cousin and it would be perfectly possible to be the pope's 42nd cousin. It just wouldn't mean very much.

Being a 42nd cousin of someone means you share a great(x41)grandparent. The pope will have thousands of 42nd cousins (as will everyone else). It may have been made up, or the girl's parents may just have been very into researching their family tree.

[Cam77]

£350 million a week for the NHS has to be up there.

[SinkGirl]

@twoshedsjackson That could be true. A friend of mine had to have two circumcision surgeries, he had to have it done for medical reasons but then still had problems and needed a further op. It’s not impossible.

[WinterCat]

I feel most put out that I know such honest people.