What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

I know someone who went to work everyday and didn’t tell his wife and children he had been made redundant until his savings ran out 6 months later.

Every morning he would get up and go into “work” and everyday he would come home.

He didn’t want his wife and children to find out as it would upset them.

She was far more upset with the lie.

He then went on to lie about his redundancy package because he didn’t want to upset his family.

Again she hit the roof

Years ago when I was temping in an office,one of the staff said that she had to take the afternoon off work to go to the doctors,to have her blood pressure taken. When one of her colleagues asked her the next day what her blood pressure reading had been,she said 'I don't know,the doctor said the results would be through next week'. I was

My Dh ex claimed her devoice had been finalised and a wedding was planned. Everything was booked and paid for, she had to come clean the day before the wedding as she was still married. My Dh was devastated. But his loss was my gain, I got to marry him.

I asked a pupil "how are you feeling? You were off all week, I hope you're feeling better now". Pupil replied with a huge comedy wink "oh yes miss, I am MUCH better. We definitely didn't go to Centre Parks"

40 generations back was approx the year 550 and there would be getting on for 2 trillion ancestors so we are all related to the pope !!!

Yes,

When you start to go back you have 2 parents, 4 grandparents (unless you marry your 1st cousin).

8 great grand parents etc. But soon you have more ancestors than people on the planet so some of those ancestors are actually the same person.

Most British people are the Queen's 29th cousin.

You mentioned a 'trillion' but there are less than 8 billion people alive today.

As mentioned by a PP there were records kept by various institutions, how else do you collect tax? The information might not be as complete as we would expect today eg I don't think Anne Boleyn's birth date is known.

The doomsday book was a huge gathering of data.

@Oliversmumsarmy - I know someone who went to work everyday and didn’t tell his wife and children he had been made redundant until his savings ran out 6 months later.

That is so sad. He’s not the only person who has done that and it shows how distressing redundancy can be. Poor man.

I worked with a woman who told me she had, has sex the night before with her boyfriend and she knew she was pregnant. Less than 12 hours later. She was also terrified as she came from a very religious family. She suggested her dad would literally kill her. I was dubious about the story, but helped her look for a womens refuge who specialised in helping women from her culture. A week later she said she miscarried.

I was still dubious but gave her some sympathy, because I suspected she was telling the truth about her family.

3 days later she was sat at our managers desk telling him she needed time off because she got pregnant the night before and needed time off to arrange an appointment. I was

As it turned out, my brother knew her brother and a sister. Turns out the family arent religious in the slightest. Her sister in fact had 2 kids without being married and no one batted an eyelid.

Same women had 4 car accidents, while I worked with her. Her car was set on fire once. House broken into twice. Claimed she went 'dogging'.

The pregnancy lies happened at least 4 more times I am aware of. I left the place of work. But heard she had got pregnant and married, but no one believed her until quite late on in the pregnancy. She didnt have any photos of the wedding. No idea if she actually got married.

I know someone who went to work everyday and didn’t tell his wife and children he had been made redundant until his savings ran out 6 months later.

My parents knew someone who did this. Unfortunately, he then went on to kill himself rather than reveal the truth.

There was further distress because, when working he had an excellent death in service benefit. It was so good, they hadnt insured him for that much. So the poor wife had to deal with her husband committing suicide, support her kids and was financially in the shit.

Terrible situation all round.

Kirkman

The wife in this case wasn’t that bothered about the redundancy. Her husband had been made redundant a few times before and she accepted that these things happened.
It was the fact he had spent the redundancy package and his savings maintaining a lie when they could have used it to actually give them a buffer until he found a new job or something else to do or just sell up and move and change direction.
She is still with him mainly because she needs to keep a roof over her and her children’s heads (she is a SAHM) but I doubt long term the marriage will survive.

It is very sad but it wasn’t the redundancy that was the problem but the lie and what he did after.

Oliversmumsarmy not judging the wife just saying I knew something similar. I think people lying about losing their job is quite common.

I dont think the wife in this situation would have been as bothered as he anticipated. Worried, obviously, but not angry or left him. She was obviously far more upset at the outcome that happened.

When it comes to jobs, it's awful. Its not worth losing a marriage of life over. Best to be honest, being made redundant is far easier to deal with than the lies or more dire consquences.

Currently, my daughters friends lies stick out a lot. She has a really lovely family, they're not well off, but she repeatedly lies about what she has.
Stories include,
Saying her grand parents live where her and her parents are (GPS live the opposite side of town!)
Apparently she lives on the same road as the school, except weve been to her house.
Her house has five stories
The tree in her back garden fell down because of storm Ciara (no garden or tree)
She went to Mexico on holiday in the summer, bought DD a gift back. Her parents tell me that no she didn't. They went to Spain. Shes adamant she went to Mexico and even gave her gift from an ain't who went to Mexico to DD, you know, back from the holidays.
Her mums a business woman- shes not. Shes lovely but doesn't work and hasn't since the child was born
They're going to Japan for 3 days for her birthday, they have some toilets to look at and some ramoon? To buy then come home.
She has five sets of airpods.
Shes also going out with one of the boys in the year above, who insists he likes boys.
Also insists shes Romanian and other times polish (shes neither)
And these are only the harmless ones!

From a colleague - I speak 17 languages, I didn't learn them I just absorbed them and no I can't give you a demonstration, I learned because my family are spies and I shouldn't really be talking about it..... All entirely serious and in a meeting of around 15 people

A colleague I worked with told everyone she was abused as a child by her parents who subjected her to satanic abuse and she was used in satanic ceremonies. None of this was remembered until she had counselling when these memories surfaced.

Long story short, her parents were suing the therapist for implanting these 'memories' and it was false memory syndrome. A psychiatrist told my colleague she had borderline personality disorder.

Colleague said her parents had broken into her home recently and cut a cross onto her chest, but in the changing room there was nothing there.

Colleague was married to a lovely man, 2 beautiful children and home, and appeared happy and well adjusted during the time we worked together.

From a customer in the pharmacy:
‘Can you hurry up with my prescription, I’ll be late for work’
Me:
‘Ooooooh, reeeeeeallllyyyyyy?
We’ll do it as quick as we can...but
I think you made an error when filling the back of your prescription in.
You ticked H for income support...’

The guy went bright red and said... I meant I am babysitting my children, so my wife can go to work’

Yes, right.......

@Lovebug06 I just nodded and made all the right noises while trying to keep a straight face.
Which was hard 😂
I'd still like to know what he was doing while she was being eaten by 24 tarantulas while being strangled by a snake 😂

My colleague accused me of poisoning him/trying to kill him as well as trying to cause death to others.

After two years of relentless bullying and playing silly beggars, he was clearly upset that I hadn’t left or been sacked so he upped the ante.

Despite going off sick (and to hospital) with my supposed handiwork for weeks neither he or the company called the police. My company investigated me but naturally as I didn’t do anything, they couldn’t find anything.

The company clearly did not act as the bullying and allegations continued. They said that they’ve acted in good faith despite my bully being a proven liar.

A girl at school told everyone the song "Baby Jayne" by Rod Stewart was written about her. It wasn't.

A girl my DH went to school with told everyone she had cancer. She even went to the effort of creating an NHS letter with the results to show everyone. The letter is what made her boyfriend at the time (one of DH’s close friends) suspicious because the text wasn’t quite the same as NHS letters he had and it wasn’t signed off accurately or something.

Anyway it all ended up coming out that she had lied in the end and she had to apologise to the whole school (private school so not many students). Imagine the sheer embarrassment! Boyfriend broke up with her and most of her friends dropped her as a result. This was towards the back end of secondary so they weren’t young children by any means.

Should have added she didn’t have form for lying and always seemed like a normal fairly nice girl so nobody understood why she did it at all.

colleaguedebastard
That sounds utterly bizarre! Why would he continue to work with someone he’s convinced is trying to kill him?

When I broke up with an ex, a colleague told everyone in our department that it was because we had been having an affair, that we were getting married and I was emigrating to Australia with him where he would support me.

He was happy enough to work with me because he knew what he was saying was a big pile of old toot.

I wouldn’t work with a colleague who was trying to kill me or cause me physical harm. I would involve the police. I would sue.

Yet he did not do that. Funny that.

It was merely an attempt to get me dismissed and a horrendous reputation.

He failed on the first one. Not so much the second. My name is met with raised eyebrows, plenty of bantz and the ubiquitous ‘no smoke without fire’

There is a special place in hell for him. I will drag him down there myself.

She was another who could never get pregnant, after she left work we saw on FB that she had a baby!

Maybe she had IVF?

That’s ridiculous Colleague, surely if he were being poisoned he would be a walking Petri dish of evidence. Has he had toxicology done? Has his doctor noted any odd poisons in his patient? Where you sprinkling asbestos on his cornflakes or something? Thallium in his tea? Surely just don’t eat anything prepared by you if he thinks that’s the case.

Absolute madness. How is he still employed?! I’d bring criminal charges myself I think (if there is a charge? Harassment maybe?)

someone I used to work with told me her friend didn’t want to be sweaty on her wedding day so she covered herself head to toe in driclor and then because she couldn’t sweat she collapsed and went into a coma. like that James Bond movie I guess?