What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

I worked with someone who lied about winning or being given a load of huge football game tickets and offering to take a load of male colleagues along to it.
He went along with it for ages, right up to meeting them all outside the football ground and saying he'd been pick pocketed and the imaginary tickets had been stolen.

The same colleague (we worked in sales) was constantly making up sales he'd made that never materialised but was absolutely adamant, in the face of overwhelming irrefutable evidence, that he was not lying..

DH's ex lied that she was pregnant by him despite them not having been in the same city for months. He hadn't slept with her for nearly 2 years by then (and is very embarrassed he ever did).

She was still insisting she was pregnant by him over a year later. Baby never showed up...

My head is hanging in shame, but when I was a child I insisted to everyone that I had 2 belly buttons.
I genuinely have no idea why I did. If anyone asked to see them, I’d say they couldn’t as my belly buttons were far too special. WTAF was I thinking. I’m half expecting an old school chum to post it on here!

One of my friends at primary school told everyone her mum had paid a million pounds to find out who had shot JR.

My boyfriend told me his mum had been in a really nasty car crash, brain damaged, induced coma etc. For 3 weeks he would phone me from the hospital where he was spending all day by her bedside, we met up and I held his hand as he shook and cried and told me about her coming out of the induced coma. It was all lies to try and con money out of me.

The money he was trying to get out of me turned out to be the deposit for a house he was moving into with another woman and a baby she says is his. We'd been together best part of a year at that point!

Turned out that wasn't even the only child he'd lied to me about.

He's still living with her but constantly on POF, was on there only last week. I tried to tell her once what a lying conman he is but she wouldn't listen.

This thread has really cheered me up, @biscuitbarrels that's so funny!

A former colleague faked serious illness by sticking a plaster literally on top of her shaved hair and collapsing on the floor at will. Her “fiancée” was a mysterious Italian Count who passed away under tragic circumstances while she was in an induced coma and sent her flowers from beyond the grave on her Birthday which caused even more drama (Show me a man who’s that organised! The e mail to the florist ordering these was actually in her sent mail at work) The final chapter in her web of lies was faking her own death with a phone call from the hospital (she uttered her last words and a “nurse” came onto the line to confirm her passing) Some months afterwards she was caught on CCTV in the office car park. The whole saga kept me thoroughly entertained but I felt so sorry for people who were taken in by the story and became emotionally invested. You couldn’t make it up....or could you?

A girl I used to work with was late back from lunch. Her excuse was that she had had a mini stroke in the city centre and collapsed, requiring medical attention. An ambulance had apparently come and paramedics had told her she was well enough to return to work that afternoon.

She was the picture of health and came back to work with lots of clothes bought in the sales

My xdh was supposed to be paying the council tax each month. He wasn't & unbeknownst to me the baliffs called round the house & left a letter. To put them off (& to avoid me finding out) he rang them & said me & him had been involved in a serious rta & was in hospital then a few days later he rang them back to say I'd died. They gave him breathing space so he obviously thought he'd got away with it all. I found out 6 months later when the baliffs turned up again & were super shocked when I said who I was! (I'd kicked him out a few months previous for another huge lie) There was a ton of lies throughout the marriage & tons more I found out after. He carried on living a lie till the day he died.

I was friends with someone during sixth form - it was a toxic, one sided 'friendship' on reflection, but I'd always struggled with friends, so I was ready to believe any old bullshit.

Most of the lies were pretty innocuous really (the using and underhanded-ness was worse), except for one - not long after I'd met her, she told me she had multiple sclerosis, diagnosed a couple of years earlier when she was 14. Which is plausible, except she didn't have it at all - she made up emergency hospital visits and everything (usually when we had plans, as 'reasons' for why she hasn't turned up). Then, she just stopped mentioning it after about 9 months of me knowing her - never mentioned a medical appointment or any difficulties again.

This was made all the worse by the fact that a girl at our sixth form was diagnosed with MS when we were 18, so it was even more apparent she didn't have it.

A lot of her lies were proven to be so once I'd met her family - who were lovely! - and I don't think I'll ever really know how much of what she said was the truth or fiction.

The worst of it was, I never called her on any lies - even when I knew that's what they were - because I didn't want to lose a 'friendship'. I think I was just an easy touch in retrospect.

Ha ha - I had an abusive control freak ex who was a compulsive liar! He also told me his Dad had died, and so I did all the usual sympathy etc - then his dad rang up a few days later! People are so weird not to think about these things....

When I met him he was my lodger (yes, I know.....) and he was still very close to an ex-girlfriend and her family, she even came and stayed. Before the 'Dad' incident, he told me her mother had died, and again I was very supportive etc as I knew they were all close. In the summer, a postcard arrived from their family holiday signed 'from Mum, ex, siblings' etc. When I asked he said they couldn't bear to be without her so still put her name on things!

Obviously I'm not stupid enough to have believed that but it was early days and I was besotted. Later he started showing his true colours, and the Dad lie was hardly a surprise by then. There were others, but those were the weirdest.......

I can't believe an employer allowed a woman back in work 3 days after a full term still birth - surely not even legal :
By law you need to take at least 2 weeks off work after having your baby (4 weeks if you work in a factory) even if you aren't entitled to maternity leave.

I thought that Full term still births were treated the same as a live birth in law and maternity rights?

@travis1
Is her name Jill?

When I got married I moved to Spain and started a new teaching job in a private school - I was 27. A parent was pissed off about something utterly ludicrous and told everyone that I'd been 'fornicating in the bushes' with other male members of staff I'd been married about 3 weeks and the other male teachers were all over 60!

Colleague of mine in a call centre told me he'd been recruited on the side by MI5.

Because of all the wealth of data he could get his hands on. Via the Tesco Clubcard database.

Lad at work was in the army and was kicked out of basic training.
Each person he told a different tale too...
He was in Afghanistan
He was promoted to major.
He got shot
He has killed dozens of people
He launched a nuclear bomb
When some one pointed out he couldn’t possibly have fought in the war he said he did as he was still in school sitting his GCSE’s at the time. He said he had shown such talent that they let him fight even though he was under age and they sent a helicopter from Newcastle to a middle eastern country every weekend and dropped him off again on Monday morning.

He took a day off work to have a mole removed. Manager saw the letter and it was actually legit. 3 weeks later he’s showing people the scar saying that’s where he was shot.

Absolutely batshit

I have the unfortune to occasionally work with a pathological liar. He is a contractor that comes to where I work, it does seems some of his lies may be catching up with him though. His cv is so impressive, anyone else would be 100+ years old to achieve some of the things he has. He is early 40s but has managed to : be in the paras for 10 years and have done 200+ jumps. He wouldn't even go on a cherry picker a few weeks ago...
Was in the SAS and protected some diplomat in some back and beyond country, was discharged after taking a bullet in the chest for said diplomat (I have had the unfortunate of seeing him with his shirt off, not a single scratch let alone bullet scar).
Worked for BT for 25 years as an engineer, yet does not understand the most basic telecoms systems.
Was In the police force for 10 years but took early retirement due to a bum knee.
Could have been a professional rugby player.
Is a mitchelin starred chef and owns a mitchelin starred restaurant (no his brother owns a greasy spoon and can he barely make a pot noodle).
He owns a superbike and regularly races, has photos to prove it. No his ex bought him one of those experience days, he got to ride pillion...
And my personal favorite, he brought krav maga to this country and is a 12th Dan 🤣

🤣🤣 @Morgan12 could be 🙈

My ex dh was a terrible liar and for many years, being very young and foolish, I believed him. I was a romantic teenager, but very gullible and he felt inadequate so told lies sometimes about things like his education or qualifications but more often he made up anecdotes about things that had supposedly happened. I feel sick when I think about it now. As time went on I caught him out in so many weird little lies. One I remember in particular was when I bought some strawberries home in a paper bag from the market. While I did something else, I said to him 'can you wash those for me?' Half an hour later I saw the strawberries were still in their bag on the table so I repeated the same request. He said 'I've done it.' I said 'no you haven't they are still in the bag' and he said 'yes I washed them and put them back in the bag.' Now they were sitting exactly where they were when I put them down, in a brown paper bag. It was clearly a lie as the strawberries were bone dry and such a stupid nonsensical one that I just felt something die inside me as he spoke. He carried on and claimed that he had dried the fucking strawberries and put them back in the bag. I couldn't bear to argue about it any more.

I must admit I told a big porkie whilst at school. I told the younger year groups that I was going out with a famous footballer, kept it up for weeks. I was well known to be a supporter of the club so many believed me. This was 40 years ago and my BF and I still laugh about it. Years later I actually met said footballer many times and blushed every time.

When we were around age 10, my best friend was always lying about silly unbelievable things. One I still remember, is that she had had freckles, but her parents burned them off, and she kept them in a pile in a cupboard (she wasn’t allowed to go in it in case they got stuck to her - presumably a cover in case I ever asked to see them when I visited!)

A girl I know lied about being pregnant 4 times, saying she had 2 abortions (One of which was twins) & then a miscarriage and the last one was an early still birth. Then when she actually was pregnant no one believed her until she started to show. I really have no idea why she would lie about such things. Obviously much deeper issues going on

Old friend of mine (we’ve since lost touch) introduced me to her new man who very swiftly revealed that he was a medal-winning boxer, had had a number one single in the 90s (Googling his name brought up no evidence of either of these) and he was also some sort of war hero having been shot during combat (showing us a scar as ‘proof’ that looked suspiciously like an appendectomy scar). I’m sure there were several other tall tales too which I can’t remember now.

Oh and apparently he was also incredibly wealthy but all his money was ‘tied up’ in something complicated right then so that’s why he was working in a local takeaway... and he just needed to borrow a few thousand from said friend to help free up some assets. You couldn’t make it up.

My ex’s housemate claimed that he was “headhunted” by Apple.

Apparently they rang him one day, desperate to employ him, get him set up with somewhere to live in California and pay relocation costs etc.

He had no qualifications and had never worked a day in his life. I suppose greatness just shines through