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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Everyone says I should stop breastfeeding but I don't want to

134 replies

xtinak · 23/02/2020 18:39

DD is 15 months. I have mastitis for the 5th time I think. DD is a terrible sleeper.

Apparently if I stop breastfeeding all my problems will be solved.

AIBU to think that's probably not the case and if I want to keep going I should?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/02/2020 18:41

It's your breasts so your choice

Bikerider2020 · 23/02/2020 18:41

Yes keep going, if that's what you want.

You may need to stop breastfeeding during the night to get better sleep though. Your child should t be hungry at 15 months and fully weaned.

Mastitis is awful, I had it twice, every sympathy for that.

bridgetreilly · 23/02/2020 18:42

I mean it won't solve all your problems, but it will almost certainly solve the mastitis, and it might well help with the sleeping. So, you know, do what you want, but I'd be wondering why you are making life unnecessarily difficult for yourself.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 23/02/2020 18:42

You do whatever works for you! Anyone else can mind their own beeswax!

Reginabambina · 23/02/2020 18:44

I’ve had people (who have never breastfed or raised children) day the exact same thing to me. Obviously stopping will likely prevent further mastisis but it’s unlikely to fix the sleeping issues ime.

june2007 · 23/02/2020 18:45

Might help mastitis, but no promises on the sleep issue. REmember the who recommend to 2 yr and beyond. Do what is right for you. (Mine started sleeping through around 4-5 yr)

WineAndTiramisu · 23/02/2020 18:46

It would solve the mastitis, but not necessarily the sleeping, I stopped at 13 months and sleep didn't change at all (although mine was quite a good sleeper anyway)
Do whatever is best for you and your baby

Thehop · 23/02/2020 18:46

Not their baby not their boobs not their business

Camenbertsmuggler · 23/02/2020 18:47

I stopped bf at 24 months, it did NOT help with sleeping. Your baby your body your choice. Simple.

BertieBotts · 23/02/2020 18:47

YANBU. Night waking is normal. Not fun, but normal. Stopping breastfeeding is no guarantee she will sleep, and then where will you be without that instant sleep tool? At least, this is (one of my) reasons for not stopping (mainly... I'm not ready yet and there is no pressing need to).

Mastitis sucks though, sympathies.

Firsttimelottie · 23/02/2020 18:47

I stopped breastfeeding DD at 18 months and she became a better sleeper for it because I was no longer her human dummy! So this may have some truth in it.

But ultimately if you want to continue breastfeeding then go for it and screw what anyone else thinks.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 23/02/2020 18:48

I breastfed for around 20 months both kids. I found I started to get mastitis when I was giving feeds too often when they were eating well, it was better for me to feed less often so the breast was completely drained rather than them just having a snack. Also I night weaned both around 7 months (one by accident as I had a bad back and couldn't move so my husband got up with and tried to calm the baby before passing to me) and once deliberately as she was waking every 90 min to feed. Both did sleep a lot better once they stopped feeding at night, sorry! I think a lot of it was habit

MerryInthechelseahotel · 23/02/2020 18:49

Whatever you do don't stop breastfeeding while you have mastitis and cut down very gradually when you do stop so you don't get any more bouts of it

JasonBrun · 23/02/2020 18:52

Have you thought about cosleeping? Maybe you could night wean otherwise and just feed in the day if you think it might help with sleep. I'm currently bf my 15 month old and wouldn't give it up for anything.

Merename · 23/02/2020 18:53

Stopping breastfeeding won’t solve the mastitis in the short term - you need to keep feeding through it (which of course you know since you’ve been through it 5 times) and reduce gradually if you want to stop. But you don’t! Is it your partner wanting you to stop perchance? My DH became quite anti-bf at times, I think because he couldn’t hack my suffering in relation to it and thought I was insane to want to keep going even though it was so hard at times. I used to get recurrent milk blisters which I had to open with a needle...in hindsight was indeed kind of insane but it was so important to me, and not that easy to back out of. Exactly like you I felt that stopping would not fix everything and a lot of what was small child stuff would get blamed on bf. That said, I did night wean DD1 around your stage, as I was literally about to die with fatigue. DD2 I did it even sooner. But my choice and I think you should a million percent keep going as long as you want.

StinkyWizleteets · 23/02/2020 18:55

I’m still going at 2y8m. Everyone tells me to stop. His nursery workers rolled their eyes when they found out. My mum is convinced he’d sleep through with feeding. Truth is his dad’s snoring annoys me
More through the night than waking to feed and cuddle my youngest and last child.

StinkyWizleteets · 23/02/2020 18:57

Oops sent too soon. It’s up to you. If I’d had that much mastitis I’d probably have given up but if you’re determined then you keep going. Nobody else’s business

rosiejaune · 23/02/2020 18:59

Assuming you've considered the usual suspects like frequency of feeding, and bra design, have you tried soya lecithin (whether as a supplement or just eating soya-based foods)?

firstimemamma · 23/02/2020 19:00

Breastfeed for as long as you decide to op, it's none of anyone else's business Thanks

ethelfleda · 23/02/2020 19:02

It is entirely up to you what you do, OP. You know your own child better than anyone.
You may well get many people on this thread come and say that perhaps you shouldn’t be breastfeeding anymore or that they shouldn’t be waking up at night anymore etc etc but NOBODY on this forum knows you or your child so please do what’s best for you.
You’ve done amazing well, by the way. If YOU feel it’s the right time to stop, then stop. You will just know OP.

Hope things improve for you Flowers

Flusteredcustard · 23/02/2020 19:06

completely up to you but don't wean when you have mastitis, as this would put you at risk of an abscess. I wonder if it might be worth getting in touch with a BF counsellor or La leche leader to help you get to the bottom of why you keep getting the mastitis, so you can avoid having it again

phoenixrosehere · 23/02/2020 19:08

I’ve nursed my boys pass the age of 2 and weaned my youngest off three weeks ago. He is a better sleeper, BUT he still wakes and when he does it takes longer to get him settled and involves me getting head-butted, scratched, and kicked (all in the face/head) at 2-3 am. I think/hope it’s due to him being in the middle of a growth spurt and he’s having night terrors since he usually giggles in his sleep. It is also difficult to get him down for a nap, some days if I lay with him he’ll fall asleep, others he refuses and falls asleep in the pram when I do the school run.

If you’re not ready, don’t stop and definitely don’t stop because “everyone” can’t mind their business and let you crack on. You’re doing a great thing for your baby and her health.

stargirl1701 · 23/02/2020 19:09

Have you tried lecithin supplements in order to avoid blocked ducts? Soya or sunflower both work.

I bf DD2 in demand until 2 years. I found nighttime was very demanding. I went back to work at 13 months so it was the combination of work and night bf that was tough.

I night weaned her at 2 years. She bed shared with DH for about 6 weeks whilst I slept in the spare room. She was old enough to understand what was happening.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/02/2020 19:10

Do whatever you like OP-
If you are complaining then people may just be thinking they are helping with advice. Do I think bf toddlers sleep worse than those who have been weaned, on the whole yes. But my opinion shouldn’t affect your choices.

Puddlelane123 · 23/02/2020 19:11

Another one joining the chorus that stopping needs to be your choice, one you have given proper thought to and which occurs at the appropriate time for you and your daughter. You are the only two people in the breastfeeding relationship and (in my opinion) the only two people who should decide when and how it ends. I have breastfed my dc well past a year each time and the amount of people around me who offered unsolicited advice and ‘helpful’ hints that I should stop breastfeeding was incredible. It was the ‘cancel the cheque’ of feeding. I have learned to develop a thick skin over the years and give the breastfeeding naysayers a well practised ‘look’. Sadly my husband is not in the pro breastfeeding camp, and everyone from health visitors to dieticians to doctors have told me that my fussy eating, non sleeping children would be ‘cured’ if only I would stop breastfeeding. I find it so bizarre that women are so pressurised to breastfeed their babies as infants and then the moment they turn a year old it is seen as being somehow harmful. Anyway, I could rant away on this subject forever but basically you do what works for you, and anyone who doesn’t respect that can do one!

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