Everyone says I should stop breastfeeding but I don't want to

[xtinak]

DD is 15 months. I have mastitis for the 5th time I think. DD is a terrible sleeper.

Apparently if I stop breastfeeding all my problems will be solved.

AIBU to think that's probably not the case and if I want to keep going I should?

There is no answer. Maybe stopping would help your mastitis, maybe it won't, you're not a tap so would still need to manage stopping. Maybe stopping would help night waking, maybe it won't. Do what is right for you and don your hardhat. Some people feel the need to give you their opinion, sometimes it comes from a wish to be helpful, sometimes it is what they would want for themselves, but it is your choice.

I fed DD1 until just over 3 years and then I knew I was done. I didn't like doing it anymore. She didn't want to stop but adjusted.

Whatever you decide will be fine and get lots of support for mastitis. It's such a bitch!

Onemorecrisp - this idea is a major issue for women breastfeeding for the two recommended years.
Totally unhelpful and ignorant message

just to say that sometimes you can get mastitis even after a natural weaning, a friend did, for example, a year later, she was anaemic, generally run down and stressed and was overwhelmed with work and family circumstances

Whoever 'everyone' is you don't need to listen to them, it's your choice and has nothing to do with anyone else.

Maybe the mastitis will go but there is no guarantee she will sleep better.

Well, do what you like really - not unreasonable to want to keep going at all! - but if you're constantly complaining about exhaustion and mastitis then obviously people are going to try to suggest things to help and the most obvious would be stopping breastfeeding.

I know mums who gave up and their babies do not sleep through the night - at least with breastfeeding it's easy to get them back to sleep again...my baby is still younger but I can't imagine giving up. Some people are just very ignorant about it.
You could try la leche league for advice/meeting other mums still feeding if they have local meetings.

The first time DD1 slept more than 4 hours was when I gave her a bottle at 9 months. I was so tired by that point the whole time feels like a total dream. Could you bf during the day still?

I can't bf during the day as I'm at work. I was expressing at work when she was between 6 months and 1 year but I did find that tough. I asked the collective wisdom of mumsnet and was told it was OK to stop expressing at that point! So it's really evenings and nights when we can bf.

I’d ask why you wish to keep going? Is it because you get something from it, closeness to your child, something? Or do you feel you’re daughter is getting something out of it.

The reality is a full nights sleep might be more beneficial for her and once she’s adjusted to weaning she may start to go through.

There is a chance you’re making a rod for both your backs, so the question is why do you wish to continue and what benefits does it bring, and to whom.

Oh for goodness sake I doubt the Op is waking her child up in the night waving a boob at her.

Oh the abject horror of a mother wanting closeness from her child

But equally, you could ask why OP might want to go through the weaning process, what benefits would that bring, and to whom? And consider the fact that weaning in itself isn't something that (at this time) is happening passively so she would have to dedicate some time, energy and emotion towards it.

There is a chance it could be really stressful so the question is why would you stop if everything is working fine. It will eventually come to a natural end in time.

And OK - recurrent mastitis isn't "working fine" but I echo the OP in saying why not address this from a POV of this shouldn't be happening, what's going wrong, rather than saying well breastfeeding is the cuplrit, better stop. (Not to mention, suddenly cutting down puts you at high risk of mastitis). Sleep might not be "fine" to you but OP doesn't sound hugely fed up or stressed about it - possibly it is fine to her.

Some ignorant posts here! At 1yrs old baby needs a lot of milk still, preferably breastmilk! Between 1 and 2 and when they progressively start eating other food more consistently and substantially. It is dangerous to suggest a baby shouldn't be breastfed after 1yrs old.
There are many benefits to continuing to bf as long as possible and night feeds can be quite important in that when mum is otherwise at work.
Do what works for you. Sleeping through the night is developmental and there is no evidence that weaning would help.

Still feeding at 2 yrs 4 months

I'm definitely in the camp of not your baby, not your boobs, mind your own fucking business

I really don’t understand why anyone would want to do this past age 1! They don’t need it

Well, that’s just your ignorance then 🙄 Apart from the comfort, studies have shown lots of benefits in continuing to breastfeed past 12 months:

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/extended-breastfeeding/art-20046962

“...There's no known age at which breast milk is considered to become nutritionally insignificant for a child.
Boosted immunity - As long as you breast-feed, the cells, hormones and antibodies in your breast milk will continue to bolster your baby's immune system.
Improved health - Research suggests that the longer breast-feeding continues and the more breast milk a baby drinks, the better his or her health might be.”

And there are benefits for mothers too:

“....Breast-feeding beyond infancy — as well as breast-feeding for 12 months or more cumulatively in life — has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes.
Improved health - Research suggests that the longer breast-feeding continues and the more breast milk a baby drinks, the better a mother's health might be.”

Thanks BertieBotts that was helpful. I am sure weaning would be a big effort and it's among the reasons why I wouldn't really consider it.

Definitely not waking the child up to a wave a boob at her. That made me lol.

Bluntness regarding what we get from bf there's closeness I'm sure yes. Bf also just seems like a useful tool for lots of things. If she gets overtired while we're out she can reset by bf. If she hurts herself then it calms her down. When she comes home from nursery that's how we reconnect. And that's how she goes to sleep at night. Obviously there's alternatives to this but bf just seems to work well in that regard so I can't see a reason to forfeit these benefits. Plus I am really not much good at routines etc. so I'd probably struggle to create e.g. an effective bedtime routine!

I'm inclined to just let DD self wean when she's ready because it just seems like something that should be self regulating so why not let it self regulate.

I breastfed all of mine until close to 2. It is what the WHO recommends. With the first I definitely felt embarrassed/guilty post 1 due to comments by others. One of my kids did sleep better when we stopped, but another definitely didn’t and continued to need physical reassurance and comfort in the form of co-sleeping for several years. Unfortunately I was never blessed with a good sleeper but some of my friends were. But I had easy straightforward pregnancies and births and naturally academic & musical kids - you win some and you lose some. At the end of the day, most mums know what is best for themselves and their DC.

I stopped BFeeding DS at 19 mths, he was a terrible sleeper until then. Sadly after I stopped BFeeding he was still a terrible sleeper .

Carry on if you want to OP. It’s your choice no one else’s.

Hahaha please don't kid yourself that your child will sleep through the night if you wean. It's a big myth! (Based on my one child)...

Anyway, WHO guidelines is to BF for at least 2 years so anyone suggesting you wean before then is advising against WHO.

Natural term weaning is much gentler and easier anyway in my opinion. Basically zero effort required from either party.

Crappy that you've have reoccurring mastitis though but sounds like the benefits still outweigh this for you, if that's true then ignore the unsolicited advice of others and just complain about the mastitis and tiredness to like minded people that will just listen with empathy.

The who guidelines are often misunderstood on here. They are global and the two years is for women in under developed countries where alternate food sources is not readily available. It is not aimed at the western world.

Bluntness - could you let me know where in the guidance it says that?
Also the guidance is at least 2yrs and then as long as both want going forward. So in developing countries they may be keen to go as long as possible (natural weaning is anytime between 2 and 7yrs old). But there is no reason why the 2yrs, which is the starting point of the guidance, shouldn't apply to everyone.

I'm 23 months into breastfeeding and also have a rubbish sleeper. She can be up from 11:30pm - 4am and then wakes up for day at 7am. If you want to carry on breastfeeding then keep going! Stopping breastfeeding at night doesn't necessarily improve sleep and may just make her harder to settle. Also, as dummies were modelled on breasts, she's not 'using' you as a dummy, she is doing what comes naturally to breastfed babies. The suckle reflex is sleep inducing. Fingers crossed for more sleep for you soon!

@bluntness
Sorry not true. You are the one that is misunderstood here.
It's the world heath organisation. That's the whole world. Us included!

Babies are babies wherever they are from and the milk is the same too all over the world.
Nutritional value and benefits do not decline.

In fact natural weaning for our species is closer to 6 or 7 so 2 is still very premature.

If the advice has come from a doctor, then it may be worth considering.
Otherwise, the choice is entirely yours. As others have said, consider only feeding through the day so you can sleep at night.