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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Everyone says I should stop breastfeeding but I don't want to

134 replies

xtinak · 23/02/2020 18:39

DD is 15 months. I have mastitis for the 5th time I think. DD is a terrible sleeper.

Apparently if I stop breastfeeding all my problems will be solved.

AIBU to think that's probably not the case and if I want to keep going I should?

OP posts:
runrabbitrunrunrun · 23/02/2020 19:13

Yanbu and well done for getting this far. Breastfeeding for that length of time in the UK so people won’t understand it, including doctors.

SinkGirl · 23/02/2020 19:13

It’s unlikely to solve the sleeping issues but it could make a significant difference. My twins were on bottles and woke up wanting milk many times per night at that age. Started diluting it until it was just water and they definitely wanted less through the night after that. But then they’re 3.5 now and still terrible sleepers, probably due to autism, but one basically stopped drinking at night when it was just water. The other drinks insane amounts day and night still.

Puddlelane123 · 23/02/2020 19:14

@Merename I get those milk blisters / blebs too and they are awful! I am slightly more scummy in my approach to them (judicious use of a sharp fingernail) but the sense of release is incredible. Have you ever discovered what causes yours? I get at least one a month

Bubblysqueak · 23/02/2020 19:17

It may not sort your mastitis, I've had it twice this year and haven't breastfed in 6years!

FleasAndKeef · 23/02/2020 19:17

The answer to these helpful people is "ok, thanks for your advice- I'll definitely consider it". Then do whatever you want.

icanbewhatiwant · 23/02/2020 19:21

I've never had mastitis so can't comment on that. But I fed my oldest until he was just past 2. I had to stop as his brother was due soon. He was a terrible sleeper. I would feed him numerous times through the night. He got a little better after I stopped feeding him. But it took time.
So when ds2 came along I refused to feed him during the night after 18 months. I fed him in the morning and at bedtime until he was nearly 3. Then I fed ds3 past his third birthday. Again not during the night. Why are people shocked at them being fed at that age? I didn't do it in the daytime. But they all loved bedtime milk.

Mangoandlimes · 23/02/2020 19:25

Do what you want, it's totally your choice and not anyone else's. However,l if you complain to others about not sleeping etc, I i wouldn't be surprised when they say stopping feeding will help - realistically it will, if you were bottle feeding in the night I'd say the same thing (and I've been there!). So to me it's a choice between continuing as you are and accepting the sleep issue, or deciding you want to change and stopping feeding in the night

Original poster
xtinak · 23/02/2020 19:38

Thank you for all the responses.

I probably will be ignoring the advice but I'm struggling to come up with responses. It seems to be coming from people who have breastfed and people who haven't. My DH complains on the one hand yet is supportive on the other.

I don't really moan about the lack of sleep. We cosleep and I'm fine with that but again it's seen as though that's a failure of some kind.

The mastitis I have moaned about but that's because I think I've genuinely been unlucky to have it 5 times.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 23/02/2020 19:42

There is only one person who gets to make decisions about your breasts. Everyone else should keep their opinions to themselves.

Auntiedotty · 23/02/2020 19:46

Have you tried slippery elm? Absolutely fantastic in preventing blocked ducts and mastitis. I had a recurrent blocked duct and mastitis and have never had it again since starting to take it. Bf my 9 month old. Your boobies your baby your choice. X

Original poster
xtinak · 23/02/2020 19:50

I will look into slippery elm and soya lecithin, thank you.

I don't see an obvious culprit for the mastitis. No tight bra or anything. No dramatic changes in how much milk DD is having.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 23/02/2020 19:52

Personally I would give up as it’s a lot you’re going through when you don’t need to - there is of course another option which is formula. But it’s your choice and no one else’s business.

JRUIN · 23/02/2020 19:52

Gradually stopping breastfeeding will definitely put an end to the mastitis, but it won't help with your DD's sleeping because you're surely not feeding her through the night are you?

MondeoFan · 23/02/2020 19:53

I'd say mastitis needs to be fed through and not stop. I lost count of the amount of people telling me to stop breastfeeding after 11 months and I didn't even have mastitis or complain about any issues. Some people just hate other people breastfeeding and they certainly do as a baby gets close to a year old or over a year.
I have more people against me breastfeeding than supporting me!

Original poster
xtinak · 23/02/2020 19:58

I do feed her at night quite a bit. It seems easier than not doing it since I can just go back to sleep while she's feeding.

OP posts:
Tombakersscarf · 23/02/2020 19:59

JRUIN what a snidest remark! A 15 month old (and beyond) can easily want milk during the night. Especially if they are sleeping next to the milk. It's not the same as demanding a bottle. Many 15 month olds will sleep with a dummy for example.

Tombakersscarf · 23/02/2020 19:59

Should say snidey though I think snidest is a good word too Smile

Bikerider2020 · 23/02/2020 20:00

Not their baby not their boobs not their business

I like this a lot!

intraining · 23/02/2020 20:01

If you want to keep going then definitely keep going! I doubt your problems would be solved and then you may feel sad you stopped feeding!

SpaceDinosaur · 23/02/2020 20:08

Meh.
Mine's 3yrs 2 months.
Never sleep trained. I don't agree with it and my shite sleeper went from being the world's worst sleeper to 7-7 at around 2yrs.

Sleep is developmental.

Mastitis on the other hand is an utter bitch and I'm sorry you're suffering. Can you juggle your toddler so their position suits unblocking you better or are they very stubborn?

SpaceDinosaur · 23/02/2020 20:09

Sorry, should probably say that she's still having boob when she asks for it too.

JRUIN · 23/02/2020 20:10

I do feed her at night quite a bit. It seems easier than not doing it since I can just go back to sleep while she's feeding.

Sounds like she can smell the milk and/or is basically using you as a dummy then. So really it's up to you to decide, carry on breastfeeding and co sleeping and put up and shut up or stop and put up with even worse nights for a week or two. It's a hard one and I'm not sure which I would chose tbh.

underneaththeash · 23/02/2020 20:12

Well it's pretty obvious that you won't get mastitis any more if you stop and since your DD is 15 months surely it's obvious advice.

It's up to you if you ignore it though

JRUIN · 23/02/2020 20:17

JRUIN what a snidest remark! A 15 month old (and beyond) can easily want milk during the night. Especially if they are sleeping next to the milk. It's not the same as demanding a bottle. Many 15 month olds will sleep with a dummy for example.

Well I suppose they will WANT it if they can constantly smell it. My point is they don't actually NEED it, so whoever's telling OP her problems will be solved if she stops breastfeeding ( or co sleeping) are correct.

Original poster
xtinak · 23/02/2020 20:17

@SpaceDinosaur I try to position her to unblock it. I sometimes struggle to locate the blockage though.

I'm encouraged to hear that sleep might just improve at some point!

OP posts: